Uninvited guest already bought a ticket to Hawaii for our wedding

Ummm if he does come( and I think you have every right to tell him no) then he should rent his own hotel room.

Wow. I am floored by the brazen rudeness! I say tell FMIL friend (not even your friend?) that due to budget he can't be served dinner but is welcome to join later for cake/dancing. If that isn't doable, I say make FMIL tell her he can go to Hawaii if he wants but he is not welcome at the reception. Even if it was local this is way rude of them.

I should add that the friend considers herself family. She was so excited about the wedding that she could hardly wait to go. Her personality can be a little overwhelming but she is a nice person and I was fine with her being invited. She does not have much money and was told that there would be a bed for her. It made since to put the 2 single ladies together. FMIL knows she will have to deal with it but what is a good way that will not result in major drama or hurt feeling.

Di you tell her she could bring a guest?

Blame it all on a tight budget and only being able to have 30 guests max. Let her know she was special enough to be included in the 30 guests, but it is not possible to add even one more person. Maybe reference someone else she knows who is not invited due to the limits.

No. She was not told she could bring a guest and she was in the room when the 30 person max was talked about. We sent her a STD but the invitations do not go out for awhile.

I agree with the others. She needs to be told that you already are at the space limit. While he is more than welcome to join her on the trip, he will not be able to be accommodated at the wedding/reception.

I would not remind her of the 30 guest limit, just in case you do only have 29 show up.

This is your day, not hers. So, you hold all of the cards. :-)

She needs to be told, not by you, but by whoever she is closest to (your mom?) that she was invited but due to the budget her friend will not be able to 1. attend the reception or 2. Stay at the rented home. She was very rude and does not need any more explanation than that. Good luck.

Wow- I am shocked that they just bought tickets. She knew this was a very private, intimate ceremony for people who are basically family only- and she dared to not only invite a guest, but have him go ahead and purchase an airline ticket months in adnance of the invite being sent out...

Someone will need to tell her. Leave it for now, and when she brings it up- just say you didn't think she was serious, that you don't know how can possibly accomodate him and that it was a private event for family only.

I have a similar friend who considers herself family, and wants to be included in every aspect of the wedding, from the rehearsal, to the hair and makeup, etc., meaning well it's just very pushy. Similalry it's a huge financial commitment for them . It's a tough situation, but you can very easily tell them there is only one twin bed available (if you want to bend over backwards, could he bring an airbed with him?) Perhaps you could tell them you already maxed out the guest list, but if the RSVPs cone back opening up a place, you will add him to the list? But you're entirely free to say no.

Someone really needs to tell her. And someone should tell her that if she brings her boyfriend still that there is not a room for her or him. The room you had for her was based on her coming alone. Your FMIL should not have to share a room with a couple. That is really inconsiderate of the family friend to even invite a guest.

Yikes, this is a tough one. At this point since they purchased the tickets (way out of bounds) me personally I would just take the L and let him attend. However, in terms of the sleeping arrangements, no one should be inconvenienced for him. Have your fmil explain to her what the intentions were for the sleeping plan and say he either can hit the couch or get a hotel. People are really bold.

Wow! I'm with Unique.. That is absurd though! Def rude to assume some random would be invited to a family intimate event like this. Good luck

My opinion on inviting guests to a destination wedding and not their significant other is I think it puts the guest in a bad position. This trip to go see you exchange vows in Hawaii will most likely eat up her vacation time and her vacation money for the year, so I think allowing her to bring her boyfriend is the right thing to do. There is NO WAY that I would have gone to Hawaii for a dw and Not brought my honey when we were dating. Just let them know they will need to find a hotel since there won't be any room in the house for the extra guest.

It's your wedding and if you didn't invite him then tell the friend that you are sorry but unless he can afford to pay for his own meal and hotel room then he can't come. Of course you would want to word it better, but you and your husband- to- be are the one's footing the bill and if this one added person is going to run you over your budget and put more stress on you then you should tell him he can't come. He'll understand. And if he dosen't then tough poop.

I agree with Kathy. Someone needs to tell her that he is more than welcome to accompany her on the trip, but not welcome to accompany her to the wedding or reception.

The only way I'd let him show is if she'd like to pay the $100 for his plate and another $100 for her brazen rudeness and the aggravation she has caused.