Uninvite someone? Help!

Without knowing your work dynamic it's hard to answer this question, but I don't think there's a way to uninvite your boss without potentially causing issues at work.

I mean a verbal isn't an official invite. I would just not send a formal invitation, and if asked again, simply say "we're keeping it intimate to family and a small group of friends, I'd love to have everyone but unfortunately we're not able to, I hope you understand"

My boss is best friends with my FH's cousin, and I think expects an invite, but I've said multiple times I'm not inviting anyone from work due to budget and not wanting to pick and choose or have an additional 40 people.

It’s awkward that he put you on the spot. I would have a conversation with him and explain that it’s not personal and that you are having an intimate wedding wedding with close family and friends.

That depends of the tone/ the way he asked.
Did he say this 'seriously' and you saying no would have leaded to hurt feelings and issues/awkward situations at work or did he say it in a way you could think he just wanted to know whether you were considering it?
But your post sounds like he was serious and that he literally ordered you to invite him and his wife!

I agree with Ashlee:"I mean a verbal isn't an official invite. I would just not send a formal invitation, and if asked again, simply say "we're keeping it intimate to family and a small group of friends, I'd love to have everyone but unfortunately we're not able to, I hope you understand". The only reason why I would consider to send a formal invite is if he threatens tnot to treat you fairly or if you think he could behave that way without him threatening beforehand. Sure: it would be very unfair and mean of him of course because it doesn't sound like the 2 of you are friends outside of work... but if you think it could happen: you should at the very least think about it.

Maybe you can tell your boss that you and your fiancé “recently decided to change your wedding plans” and you’re now only going to invite family and friends and no one from work, etc. so sorry we wish we could have more friends from work but we’re not able to!

A verbal invite is as good as a written invite. Unfortunately, you're obligated now to send a formal invitation. It's even more important that you do it because it's work-related. You don't want to face that guy every day if you uninvited him.

Wow that is a uncomfortable situation especially if you amd your boss is not on good terms. But no boss should intimidate his or her employee into making them invite them to a special day if they choose not too. So if you don't want to invite it's you and your future wife decision without any pressure. Now if it's a no your boss should respect your decision without any future problems. Good luck

It was rude of him to put you on the spot. Since you invited him verbally, a formal invitation is required. You can’t get out of that unfortunately without canceling the wedding entirely. But take it as a lesson learned to set boundaries for the future even if others don’t respect them.

I would tell him that you checked with the venue and unfortunately your venue capacity is lower than you thought and can't extend them an invitation. I say if you haven't sent them a save the date or invitation you can univite them.

I just wouldnt address it again. How completely rude and unprofessional of him. If you have an hr dept and he continues to push the subject I would file a complaint.

I disagree that a verbal invite means you have to send a formal invite. Especially since you were put on the spot like that!

If it comes up, I would tell the truth: you were put in an uncomfortable situation and didn't want to face retaliation, but that you are keeping the wedding small and intimate with family and close friends. Get HR involved if it escalates.

Just don't send an invitation and don't talk about the wedding in front of him. Hard for him to come if he doesn't know when or where.

I honestly can't believe the people commenting that you're "obligated" to invite him now. No one is obligated to do anything, much less obligated to spend their money on any particular person. No one is entitled to an invite, or anything in life for that matter. Your decision is your decision, feel confidant in that.

Once someone has been invited verbally, it's rude not to follow up with a formal invitation. Particularly in this case, because the OP may come across as flaky to her boss. Not a good look in a business environment.

Tell your boss that you have limited space and that you hadn’t consulted your partner about it. It’s going to be awkward but they should understand.

View Quoted Comment You're right that no one is obligated to do anything. Actions can still have consequences though and it's possible that OP not inviting her boss after saying he was invited could result in a not so friendly work environment.

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This is really solid advice.

View Quoted Comment In a work place that would be retaliation, which is illegal. It's his duty to behave professionally regardless of circumstances.

View Quoted Comment It may be illegal, but it happens in workplaces every day. Depending on the type of business (small, family run vs corporate/large business) and how long OP has worked there, this could cause issues. I'm not saying it would be right, but it's still something for her to keep in mind before just not inviting this boss.

You don't need to univite someone who was never invited in the first place.