Underage Drinking

Yes. Absolutely tell the bartender who they are. It is illegal to serve alcohol to those under 21, and your FH's family could absolutely get into trouble for allowing them to be served. If you're worried about being perceived as a snitch, just tell his family that you were required to advise the bartender about those under 21. Also, advise your coordinator. Better safe than sorry. Oh, and don't make an issue out of it now. Just make sure your bartender knows on the day of the event.

A good bartender is going to proof anyone who looks under 30 (at least that's what they do in my area). Alert your coordinator and your bartenders and keep them alert so that other people aren't ordering them drinks.

Is this a licensed bar tender? If so they will know to ID like Celia said or risk getting in serious trouble.but it can't hurt to point them out either.

I think what worries me is that they are young, and they will probably not care if we say no. They will try to get others to give them alcohol, after all, they are 18-20.

Call their parents and tell them about it. I am also dead serious about this. In fact, we are not inviting anyone under the age of 21. At all.

Any bartender is going to do this because, licensed or not, if there is a problem they'll be part of it, legally.

Not inviting them sounds harsh, but it may be the only way to be totally safe on this.

I am sorry but I was never that irresponsible as a teenager or even as a 20 year old to try and "scheme" my way into getting drinks at a WEDDING. If they cannot handle themselves then they don't need to be at your wedding. That is just absurd.

Her and my other cousin are the only ones who are not going to be 21. There will be an 18 year old and she will be 20 by then. Her 21st birthday is a week later ? Not everyone is as responsible at their age.

I'm trying to remember if alcohol was invented when I was 20.....

In your state, it is legal for them to be in a home in which adults (anyone over the age of 21) are

drinking alcohol, however it is illegal for anyone to serve them alcohol. Anyone (parents or guests) providing alcohol to them can be held criminally liable for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. If they drink and are pulled over and have a blood alcohol concentration of 0.05% (lower than the legal limit for adults), the hosts could be in serious trouble. if that minor causes an accident with that blood alcohol concentration, you're talking about a misdemeanor, a fine, and up to a year in jail. You really have to be careful. If you are paying an event coordinator, keeping an eye on them has to be one of the top items on her agenda.

I still can't get over the 21 year drinking age in the states (most of canada is 19, some provinces it's 18). But like others stated the bartender should ID those who looks under a certain age, and maybe pointing out the underage guests wouldn't hurt.

I wouldn't stress about it. The bartender should know their Job but I do agree that you should speak with the bartender and your coordinator. Calling their parents would do nothing because they are adults! And even though I did some underage drinking with friends before I turned 21 I'm now 25 and still don't feel comfortable drinking in front of older family out of respect. I'm sure everything will turn out just fine

You could always put some sort of bracelet on them so they're 'ID'd' as under 21.

@Sue M - i'm in Alberta, so it's 18 and i don't get that law either.

The age for drinking in Canada, in most provinces it's 19, and in the States it's 21, has always confused me. At 18, you can go to war and fight for your country, vote for your leaders, pay taxes, be treated as an adult for criminal actions, but you can't order a beer? Makes no sense.

A few thoughts:

1. Tell the bartender, for the reasons stated above.

2. Tell the PARENTS. Yep. Let them know there's extreme liability if the kids drink, so just because it's at home, not to get too comfortable! Look it up, most likely the bartender could be fined thousands of dollars, and just tell them you're not ok with putting them at any risk.

That's a lot of eyes on these kids, and at 18-20, I would have understood the issues with liability. If they're semi-mature, just let them know that a poor bartender AND you could get totally f*cked, so hold it off for one night. I feel like that would get through.

I know for us to be "legal" in regards to the bar at our venue/the state requires TWO THINGS:

A bar back - this can be as simple as a table WITH a table cloth over it. Why? They need a place to store the alcohol unseen so you can't just grab it willy-nilly.

A roped off area - I bought two wreath hangers on clearance from Hobby Lobby that I will connect with a rope and have a "No One Under 21" sign on the bar.

After that, it is up to the bartender to card people and mind the alcohol.

Are they responsible young adults? If they are wouldn't worry to much about it. Mention to the bartender, but leave it at that.

If you feel the need to call the parents, then they are probably not very responsible and shouldn't be there. And if I was under 21 going to wedding and the bride called my parents to talk them about it- I would be a little insulted. I've never been to a wedding where the underage drinking was an issue (I've also never been to a wedding with a bartender--it was all serve yourself), it was the adults who caused problems-- getting sloppy drunk and a couple DUIs-- never someone under 21.

Definitely alert the bartender. He is your best bet. However, that won't stop someone else from getting a drink or drinks for them. Not sure what state you're in, but in California if the police show up and find anyone under the age of 21 drinking, the bartender, homeowner and hosts can all be charged and will be fined (up to $1,000) This will be on your record and could cause problems in the future.

Bartenders are trained to not serve underage drinkers. That being said, I have never actually been carded at a wedding (although, I never attended a wedding before I was 21). You should definitely let your coordinator and the bartenders know about them, and request they not be served. You are right that because its a family home, you/your FH would be legally responsible if they were served and then, God forbid, they got into a DUI accident or something.

Make sure your bartenders are licensed and know there will be underage guests.

Also make sure you have any ABC licenses or event insurance for your own protection as your state may require.

Not only do I think you should tell the bartenders, if it was me I'd give them pictures of the kids that are underage but may not look it!

that's extreme I know, but that's how I am when it comes to this.