Uncooperative bridesmaids

It is super easy to find a floor length wine colored dress off the rack. They have 4 months. I'd start getting antsier closer to the wedding, maybe by the time invites go out. No one buys an off the rack dress 4 months in advance. People gain and lose weight. Sales come and go. Instead of reminding them every month, I'd ask them to get their dresses by a firm date for your own peace of mind, and so you can troubleshoot if there are any issues. You can also invite them to a bridesmaid dress shopping appointment


These bridesmaids are not being uncooperative. They have other priorities in life, which is to be expected.

Jenna,
You are not wrong! You gave them plenty of time to look and especially looking into alterations if they need to get it altered. At this point set a date of when to have it by so YOU can make sure that everyone is coordinating. Set a date to have the girls come over, try on the dresses, and give your recommendations (like if they should get it altered or not, etc). And that way you can also go over any other wedding stuff if need be when you are with them. By setting a date of when the girls should have their dresses by will prevent them from having to look last minute and having to ask if they can wear a different colored red dress or whatever.

I think I would organise a shopping day so you can go together.

They may not be aware that some places require 8-12 weeks for bridesmaid dresses. Off the rack is fine but if it's a bridesmaid dress place they might be surprised to hear that. Plus as HEather says... alterations take time too!

I could see more resistance if you were asking at 18 months ahead to purchase dresses but 4 months before the wedding is standard to buy dresses. Because most don’t take as long to fill orders. Azazie or Cocomelody can be ready shipped very quickly.

Pick their dress from azzazie or some other website in the color you want and send them the link to order their size. Do a group te t and tell them to text the group once it's ordered

I'm wondering if maybe you gave them too broad of instructions. It might be better or easier for them at least if you have them get the dresses from a specific store. This way they know for sure they are getting the color you want. I also like the idea that another person had about inviting them over to try on dresses.

I would honestly just let it go. My SIL just recently got married, and she gave everyone the direction of knee length sky blue. They were engaged for awhile because their wedding was originally last year but was Covid-postponed. She never checked in on us (at least not me) about the dress and we all showed up in the appropriate attire. I know the stress and urge of making sure everything is done, but just trust your bridesmaids to be adults and purchase the correct attire. Hounding them may actually produce the opposite effect in that they get annoyed and think "I'll get to it when I get to it."

My bridesmaids where like this. I kept reminding them. I let them pick their own style dress. So finally I told my bridesmaids that whoever didn't have the dress by such and such date would be forfeiting their choices and I'd be going and getting them a dress of my choice. They quickly ran out and got their dress after I told them that.

Honestly, it isn't worth your stress or upset. They're going to get them when they get them. No amount of badgering or pestering them will make them do it sooner.

When I got married, I asked one bridesmaid a week out from the wedding if she'd had her dress altered yet (after having asked her once a week earlier as well) and she responded back a terse "it'll be done before the wedding ok." It wasn't - she was having it altered literally the morning of the wedding. The cost of her procrastination was a $200 rush fee (which was more than the dress itself cost) in addition to the cost of the alterations. Her problem, not mine. I didn't feel bad for her, and she never said anything about it because she knew it was her own fault.

At some point, you have to accept you can't control others, and you're only causing yourself undue stress. Any repercussions for not ordering their dress in a timely manner (rush fees on the dress or alterations, possibly not being in the wedding if they don't get one in time) will be theirs to deal with.

Not worth the stress. I'd say let it go. I'm getting married this weekend. All I've asked for is any green dress. Don't care if it's printed or solid. Don't care if it's long or short.


They all just purchased dresses like a week or 2 ago.
You've given them loose guidelines and a very easy to find color. I wouldn't bring it up anymore. They know what they need.

I would make sure they get them from the same store. Wine red from one store is different than another store, and you don't want clashing. Other than that, let them know alterations can take months, and then just forget about it. If they don't get their dress in time, they can just be a guest to the wedding!

I had the same issue it was super stressful, they wouldn't reply to texts. We went to pick and buy their dresses and they all got sized to order and only 1 actually ordered her dress that day after that it was a mess. Started with 6 Bridesmaids, got down to 3 we ended up postponing so I had time to get my niece her dress so I now have 4.

I'd be upset too, so I don't blame you lol. We have around 5 months till our wedding and only 2/4 have gotten their dresses. The only reason I'm stressing about it is because the place they're ordering them from has been taking a while to get their dresses shipped. The second girl texted the group saying hers won't ship until mid September lol.

Don't let it stress you too much though. Let them know that dresses can sometimes take a while to ship, and that they have to consider the time it will take to get them altered. If they don't have a dress in time, then they can just be a guest.

I just went through this due to special circumstances. I had my sister a friend and then I added my sil to the mix. My sister had a stroke and I was at the 90day mark to keep or cancel and with great consideration we decided to continue. I had to find separates so it is easier for sister is a wheelchair now to dress, my friend became pregnant and needed a new dress and my SIL needed a dress in general. Due to the high stress and timing I told everyone you have this date to come to store to make final choice due to taking 8 weeks for dresses to be ordered and come in. They came in two weeks before the wedding, just enough time for alterations. My friend didn’t come that day and we agreed for her to come as a guest so she didn’t have to stress of the wedding day and being pregnant.


Stuff happens and things will work out! But 4 months is cutting it close.

I would start sending them options. I personally have 4 bridesmaids. I bought the dresses cause I didnt trust a few if them to actually do it.

You are not wrong! 4 months is cutting it close. What if their dresses need alterations? I'd look I to organizing a "Dress Shopping Day" and try to get everyone sized and potentially pur have a dress
If they can't/don't purchase the dress that day then at least they have their size and know where they can purchase a dress that matches your vision.

They're not late. They still have plenty of time to buy a dress that meets your requirements. Let them be adults and be in charge of getting their own attire; don't worry about it.

I'm getting married December 4th and I don't think any of my 4 bridesmaids have purchased theirs. I picked one out and said get this one. I trust that they will get it in plenty of time. In the weddings I have been in I think I got mine at about the 90 day mark just because of weight fluctuation. I wouldn't worry. Besides if they are your bridesmaids, that means that they are important to you and you are important to them which means they will show up for you and be dressed accordingly. There are so many other things we have to worry and stress about. Don't add this one to your list! ♥️

I set up a day for all mine to get together go dress shopping. They all found theirs that day.

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I agree with this. They are adults, and will find their attire in time. If it were me I would just order one online, it probably would take a week to arrive.