Uncle will officiate wedding :)

You should hire a professional

Has he done weddings before or have any experience? If not, I'd urge you to re-consider and hire a pro. A pro, even if you don't know them beforehand, will get to know you and make your ceremony very special and you don't have to worry about ensuring it's legal or the paperwork filed properly.

I'd be nervous about his "colorful persona."

Also, the legality of it all. Specific words have to be said.

Hire a pro.

Has he done weddings before? is he 100% legal in your state/county?

I don't understand this logic....it's like hiring your uncle to install your water heater if he's not a plumber or remove your tattoo if he's not a tattoo artist. Except this job has ramifications that cross several arenas; both legal and entertainment. I get calls every week from relatives who bailed when they figured out that not 'just anyone' can do this.

Hire a pro. This job is far more than being colorful. It's being legal, filling out and filing paperwork, advising you on your license and fixing screwups (which happen more often than you'd think or hope.) And that doesn't even have anything to do with the ceremony itself; creating the processional, managing it on the day, sourcing readings and rituals, writing a ceremony (which is different than any other type of writing) and yes performance.

Get a pro. Get a good pro. We'll help you every step of the way.

It's customary to allow your relatives to attend your wedding as a guest and not have to work. Officiants put in A LOT of work to make your day special. Also, they're professionals. I would never leave the legality of my marriage to an amateur.

We hired an officiant but the last 2 weddings we attended, they had a close friend do it. If you ask the right kind of person...I think it can be beautiful, too. Just be sure they are up to the task n don't mind sitting out on the ceremony/working it. As for a gift, i would just follow the BMs gift suggestion of shopping for their birthday.

Whoa, it goes to show I have so much to learn about this

I didn't think about what all is included and expected in the duty...

I'll put in the research now to make sure that it's all legal and he says the correct words. I really want him to do this and he does as well. We're not having a huge, drawn out ceremony. We want it quick/efficient and simple...literally no more than 10 minutes. My FH almost has social anxiety...he HATES being in front of people/being the center of attention. We're do our jazz/say the words, my best friend may read a poem, and then we'll be done.

We're not super traditional/formal people. My uncle is a minister and ex-military, but he wouldn't do anything crazy or inappropriate. (I forget how text can be confusing...especially when people don't know each other).

Having him be apart of things is something we want. I get that family is there to be guests and all, but my friends and family are doers and I've already had to tell them not to do a lot. Idk if I'm making sense or not...

My intention was not to paint him as some fumbler or an employee...I just thought of this as a special, inclusive act and want to get something for him...that's all...

My fiancé gets asked to officiate friends weddings a lot and my best advice is to let him know his wedding gift is officiating and then get him a small gift. You're essentially asking for free labor so they should not be giving you a gift too after working your wedding imo. Officiating takes a ton of time to prepare plus you have to go to the dress rehearsal, which adds to the time commitment. We've literally been invited to weddings just because my fiancé was asked to officiate for a friend or family member and then are left in an awkward, well is this our gift or do we give a gift now?

And then we give a gift because we feel bad because we know them, even though we just saved the couple a few hundred bucks and he spent hours preparing, and in at least one case was probably only invited because he could do the officiating.

Personally, id hire a pro but the above applies if you really want your uncle

My husband's uncle married us and it was perfect. He loved being such a special part of our day. You do need to make sure it's legal where you are getting married but that isn't difficult. Writing the ceremony is challenging but there are plenty of examples out there.

My grandfather is a pastor and is officiating our wedding. He asked us if he could marry us. He's done numerous weddings but we definitely had to think about it before we said yes. While I'm usually in favor of the no friendor rule I just couldn't imagine a more special person marrying me to my best friend. If your uncle hasn't married anyone before I would look into maybe having someone else do it only because it can be alot on him to. Maybe sit down with him and talk about your expectations for your ceremony. As far as compensation, i went the sentimental route and got my grandpa something off etsy tbats special between us both. Something small is always a nice gesture! Best of luck!

Ask your uncle to do a reading instead.

My FHs cousin is a pastor and will be officiating our wedding. He is also officiating FH's other cousins wedding this summer. We are really excited to have him officiate for us.

I would take the legality of your marriage very seriously. Hire a pro.

You're missing the point, entirely. (And 10 minutes? That'll give you a welcome, vows, rings and a pronouncement, which may be all you want, but it'll feel like nothing to people who got dressed up and expected a significant experience....)

Good luck finding out what's legal in your state; most clerks won't take the time to tell you either about the officiant or the required words, if there even are any.

And yeah, sure it'll be personal; your average friendor officiant finds a bunch of stuff online and uses it.

What happens is someone faints? If you forget to get or bring your license? If you want a specific ritual or GASP, ask him to write one? How does everyone get down the aisle? What's the timeline? What about microphones? Coordinating with music? Working with photographers and video people?

If you got a pro and invited him to read, you wouldn't have 'so much to learn about this'. Your paid, pro officiant would handle it all.

My FH's uncle is going to be marrying us; however, he is actually a minister (and FH's family would probably disown us as he has married pretty much every niece and nephew he has). If he wasn't an actual minister, I would have said no. Fortunately for us, he's already checked with the clerk's office for us (he's from a different state, but he's good to go), and is already working with us on our ceremony.

I hope I didn't come off snippy or defensive in my second post...

I would like to thank y'all for the insight. I'm going to look into everything and make sure we know what we are getting into/make certain to get the legal jazz is situated. I guess a short ceremony of 10/maybe 15 minutes may not sound like much to some folks...but I don't want to do anything that will May my FH uncomfortable...lmao, believe his folks/friends know him well...and honestly are just super excited that we are getting married...he's 100% NOT a social person/very much an introvert...everyone who knows us is mainly excited about the meaning/the joining of us and our families...the receptions (we're doing one in Tennessee and then going back to his hometown for more with his family) are where the bulk of the hoopla will go down...I hope this clears things up a little...

But thanks again for the feedback...I promise I'm taking notes

That's awesome! You could get something personal to him. If he has a favorite restaurant or store you could get him a gift card to one of those? Maybe something sentimental also?

My brother officiated our wedding, we gave him a nice bottle of whiskey because I knew he would like it. I don't know that there's anything customary, but I'd get him a nice gift as a thank you.

I was married by my grandfather the first time and it was very special. This time we're having a friend officiate.