Uh oh ! grooms mom just picked same color gown as mine

Is this an actual concern/etiquette thing? I told my mom and my FMIL to pick whatever color dress they felt comfortable in. It doesn't even have to match our wedding colors. I honestly don't care at all. They could show up in the same exact dress and I still wouldn't mind... My mom bought a mauve dress and my FMIL hasn't bought hers yet but she's leaning towards a dark champagne I think. She's shown me a few pictures online of dresses she likes. I seriously don't think this is a big deal at all...

I'm assuming you are the mother of the bride although it's kind of vague in this post. I don't see why it matters if both moms are in the same color. If it really bothers you, have your daughter talk to her FMIL, or talk to her yourself if you have a relationship with her and feel comfortable doing so. But as a guest, I would not notice or care at all if the Mother of the Bride and Mother of the Groom matched

There is literally zero reason why your daughter should be upset that you and her FMIL are wearing the same color. That's ridiculous. And I've never heard that the MOB buys the dress first. Goodness. Don't stress something that isn't an issue yet, and frankly, shouldn't be an issue. You probably shouldn't have said anything to FMIL.

FMIL got her dress when I went shopping for my wedding dress with her, my mom has yet to even look or go shopping. Like PP's have said I have never heard MOB goes first and then MOG? That's crazy! I would not have even texted her, let your daughter and her FH handle any type of issue, if it does become an issue.

Can I ask what color?

As a bride this isn't something that would bother me. I actually have no clue what either my mom or my stepmom is wearing and to be honest I don't care, ha!

But, you know your daughter best. Run it by her. What if you get the same color but a different shade?

This doesn't have to be an issue. my mom and MIL were both in navy for the wedding--different styles of outfit (one dress one suit) and it was totally fine. for the amount of time you'll all be standing in a row, it really doesn't matter.

I think you just created a problem between you and your daughter's FMIL by saying to her "my daughter wanted me in that color". I'd have no idea how to respond to that if I received a message saying that, but I'd be none pleased, because the tone is quite clearly saying, "you can't wear that color too". There's no rule that says the MOB buys first, and if there is, it's very outdated and not something people still follow. Moms can wear whatever color they want.

I wasn't aware that this was ever a rule in the past. It sounds like it's not something worth getting upset over.

I don't think this is a big deal at all. The bride and groom don't get to dictate what MOB and MOG wear. You each get to wear what makes you feel beautiful. Sounds like you both have similar taste.

I have heard that there is an older etiquette rule about the MOB should pick her attire first, and then the MOG should choose her attire based on what the MOB chose, but I don't think this is meant to say the MOG should not choose the same color. I thought the point was that the MOG should choose something that has the same level of formality as what the MOB selected.

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Right! I feel like that text is going to start a ton of drama. I wouldn't take it well either.

As the bride. I wouldn't care as long as it's not white or any shade of white, cream. It was at one time in the south customary for the MOB and MOG to wear the same length of dress, same color was up to bride. But that tradition has left us thank goodness.

Honestly my mom and FMIL might wear he same color. FH’s Grandma is wearing the same color as my mom. Idc.

I think both Moms should wear whatever they love and feel comfortable in. I just went shopping with my mom, and we found that colors are limited now. So putting that expectation on someone really narrows what they can wear. I have been to a wedding where both moms ended up in the same dress. Everyone loved it and it was such a fun conversation starter. No one cared, not the bride, the mom's, or the guests. As a bride, I would be just fine if my mom and my FMIL had the same color! Shoot, they already have almost the same wardrobe (they have several of the same pieces) so I wouldn't be surprised ( or mad) if they got the exact same dress!

Both my mom and FMIL asked for my help in finding them a dress and picking colors. I told them anything navy, champagne, or silver would be great if they wanted to coordinate with the wedding, but truly they could wear whatever color they wanted. They both picked Navy, does not matter to me one bit.

As long as no one shows up in white, I really don't care...but everyone is different

Ok girls, took all your advice, and totally agree with you. no need to stress about the small stuff. The text is fine, and we are very friendly, so that's not an issue at all.. My son recently got married, so I was kind of thinking along the same terms as I did with his mother in law. I did ask her what color she was wearing so that I would not be in the same color, and just thought that was the proper thing to do, BUT I see all your points, and just told her her it's not a big deal at all. Thanks for making me see the light ! You brides and brides to be always give such great advice and I appreciate it all !!

I don’t think it was a big deal until you texted her that your daughter wanted you in that color. This doesn’t matter at all, and honestly, if this is something your daughter is going to get that upset over, she should probably gain some perspective.

Honestly, I have no clue what color either my mom or his mom are wearing and idc what color they choose. The only thing I told FMIL is no black and not because I would necessarily care about someone wearing black but she purposely wore black to FH last wedding “in mourning his getting married to her”. She does stuff like that sometimes to be a witch so I just laid it out and she was fine with that. I don’t see why you and the MOG can’t wear the same color. As PP’s said I’ve never heard that rule or that the MOB gets her dress first.

@ sarah we text and speak on the phone on a daily basis. I thought she might be upset, but that was my thinking... I have plenty of friends who's children have gotten married, and they actually told me to chose my dress first and and then let my daughters future mother in law know what I chose and what color... maybe it's the old fashioned way, not sure !! You learn something everyday. Times are changing!

Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if my fmil and mom did. If they did I'd be okay . The pictures would look cohesive