Ugh! covid rant!

Personally I would also postpone but I know that’s not the case for everyone and so I don’t blame people for wanting to continue and for trying to put in measures for everyones safety at least. People can decide for themselves whether or not they want to come.
I think he’s probably just mad cause he does want to be there in person but doesn’t want to risk his safety, which also makes sense but he’s just lashing out at you for it.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, I tried explaining the safety measures we are taking, but he is still nervous.... I’m also still hoping people will become more open to group settings by Nov. fingers crossed anyway

As Melle said, I think he’s probably upset because he wants to be there in person but he’s concerned for his family’s health. It’s a hard choice to make. Even with social distancing measures and safety precautions, Covid is pretty scary for some people. Hopefully he comes around and will at at least attend you streaming.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I know. I know. I don’t blame him for not coming. I just didn’t like how negative he was over the phone. COVID wedding planning is a whole new level of craziness.

View Quoted Comment It is a whole new level of craziness. It’s really hard when family gets upset too. I had to tell my sisters, who live out of state, that they can’t come even though we are going ahead with our November wedding. We’re drastically cutting the guest list because I’m high risk and will have access to better doctors on FH’s health insurance. It just makes sense for us not to postpone. But it’s hard to tell guest they’ve been cut and ask them to view the live stream.

I'm sorry he's yelling at you, but ... as someone who lives in the original epicenter... it *is* that dangerous. (And I'm high risk, to boot.)

If you are somewhere that it's warm enough to have an outside venue in November, while that's safer, you have likely only just hit your peak. We hit our peak in April... and we are nowhere close to normal.

That said, we livestreamed our ceremony for DH's grandpa last year, because his health kept him across the country. He thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated it, and it's a great way to include those who can't come due to work/health/money.

Although I totally understand why you are disappointed, I think you also need to look at things from his point of view. COVID-19 is a very scary virus with incredibly real and potentially deadly consequences. Obviously your brother really wants to attend your wedding, and most likely sees it as you putting him in the position where he must potentially place himself and his family‘s health (and life!) on the line in order to attend. His lashing out is likely due to the fact that he feels you are placing him in an unfair position, where he hast to choose between his sisters wedding or his and his family‘s well being. And he is also probably frustrated and hurt that you have made the decision to have your wedding at what he feels is the detriment of others. I think when you look at it from his point of view, it is very understandable why he’s upset. I would suggest cutting him some slack and trying to be sympathetic with him. Since you have made the decision to go forward with your wedding, I think you’re doing the right thing by live streaming the ceremony so your brother and his family will have the option of watching from the safety of their own homes.

Tell your brother you're sorry he won't be able to make it and you'll provide him the link to it being livestreamed.

It's well within his rights for him to choose not to come. That's fine. What's not fine is for him to try to control your decisions or whether the wedding happens or is postponed. If he doesn't want to come he can watch it on the stream, that's all there is to it. But I have little patience for people who try to bully others into making particular decisions about their own events.

And fwiw, I live in an area that was the original epicenter, too. Things aren't back to normal because our governor enjoys being on a power trip, not because the virus is running rampant. You'll get different opinions on this too.

I completely understand what you mean. My FSIL is the same way, she finally agreed to come but it has been awful and I hate seeing my FH hurt that his only sister said she wouldn't be coming. He felt that he lost support of us as couple by her saying that, he knows that isn't the case but it still hurts. In my opinion this virus isn't going anywhere so we might as well keep living our lives as we are. Also just an opinion not a fact by any means, but who is to say by November when the election comes around that depending on who gets elected we could have national bans on large gatherings. We just don't know what is going to happen. So if those of who are fortunate to be able to have our weddings this year with some restrictions in place then go for it. If guests choose to not come that is fine too, but no reason to stop living.

You'll have to just wait and see how he feels after the presidential elections. I can almost guarantee a vaccine will magically appear and the world will be back to normal... Sorry but someone had to say it..

Not saying this crap isn't harmful because clearly it is. But if your brother did once ounce of research he would see that COVID isn't nearly as deadly as some other of the crap out there. I myself have had it and am supposedly high risk, it was nothing but a little cold for me. I have many family members who have had it also with little to no symptoms. So that all might make me a bit jaded about the whole subject lol.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion however and if your brother chooses to stay home then thats his decision and you can't beat yourself up for it.

We Are Still Having Our Wedding As Planned. 60 Guests As Planned. Outside Ceremony, Indoor Reception. Only Thing Changing Is That Masks Are Required. I Feel That People Shouldnt Blame The Couple For Not Putting Their Life On Hold . If They Are Too Uncomfortable To Attend They Dont Have To.

OUr wedding is in November this year too, and while I feel kinda guilty for going through with it, there is no end in sight to this pandemic. We are implementing safety protocols and any guests who don't feel comfortable coming can celebrate from afar. Sadly some people will be negative no matter what. Just reiterate your options and ignore the hate!

View Quoted Comment I live in a small town in AZ. We hit our peak in like June. We now only have under 20 new cases/day. The schools are to open within the next few weeks, and almost everything is open minus bars and bowling alleys. I think if it’s safe enough to be in school, it’s safe enough to have a wedding. We will have the online option for those who do not feel comfortable, as well. But, I am not rescheduling/down sizing my wedding because people think I should. Of course I was more understanding when talking to my brother. I just turned to WW to express my frustrations.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, that’s pretty much what I did. I told him I’m working on streaming it, but he said it’s not the same.... Just frustrates me that he makes me seem like I’m a horrible person for still having my wedding

View Quoted Comment Yes! thank you! He is literally the only person in my guest list of 150 to complain like this. Others have said they are going to celebrate from home, but he is the only one that has fought me on not rescheduling.

View Quoted Comment Yes thank you! His son is suppose to be my ring bearer. I told him that I would still buy his stuff (I mean it’s $50) on the off chance he changes his mind. I think depending on who gets elected will have a huge impact on my wedding. I think it could all be over, or get so much worse. But if it’s legal, the show must go on! Well I think anyway.

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I agree with you. My FSIL's daughters are supposed to be flower girls in our wedding. So I understand about wanting your nephew there too, I bought their dresses for them too. We just don't know. And as said as it might be I think we just have to keep going. This election could really change things too, depending on what happens. I wish I had a magic mirror or ball to look into to see what will happen. My FH and I only talked about postponing once and we both agreed that we don't know what will come next year. We have other things we want to do in our lives so postponing really wasn't an option to us.

View Quoted Comment My parents are also in AZ.


If NYC hit our peak in April, and we are not yet at "normal", there is a reason.
Your peak is only 2 months ago. Places with schools opening are seeing massive spikes.
Please do not downplay the risks associated. I get that you want to get married, and this entire year has been heartbreaking for couples, but the risks are very real, and people's concerns are valid.
It is one thing to vent.
It is another entirely to invalidate people's fears.

View Quoted Comment Others have told me they were unable to make it due to COVID, I completely understand their fears. But, what I will not do I take my brothers criticism. Either come or don’t, I understand either way, but do not make me out to be a bad person because I don’t see things the same as you. I’m not rescheduling because a select few people’s fears.

View Quoted Comment I feel the exact same way. And I’m disappointed he won’t be there, but also I get it. People don’t know what to think, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. But, I just wished he respected my decisions to continue on by doing so virtually or whatever.... I think that’s what hurt the most.