Two sets of bridemaids?

Ehh i kind of see it as the second group not being good enough. You should include in your real wedding pArty or not include them at all.

No, no dresses for the second group. I was thinking of something easy like asking them to all wear black dresses. I was also planning on having them be the ones to help with readings and guest book, etc.

This sounds similar to the Biblical bridesmaids that one girl on SYTTD:BMs had.

What would you want the friends to do? If you want a set of "bridesmaids" closer to you for the sake of having the "experience" (shower, bachelorette, etc.), I wouldn't do that, I can seem a bit "good enough to party, not enough to actually be a part of the wedding."

Is there a reason why you want family over your friends as bridesmaids?

I would hate that and feel like I wasn't special enough for the "real" WP honestly... especially if I was the one helping with planning, parties, etc.

Is there a reason they can't be included in the WP?

It makes sense if you have your family in the "primary" bridesmaids groups, after all you've known them all your life. Having a second wedding party is a great idea, friends should understand that and love that you're including them as well, that's a good compromise! What would the different parties wear??

@Valerie, I've got family members that I only see every few years, and that I'm nowhere near as close to as I am my best friend. If I chose my bridal party only from family, I know that my best friend and MOH would be hurt, as SHE'S the one that was there through break ups, through the death of our best friend, through everything. A blanket "Friends should understand" does not apply to everything.

If you wanted to have family bridesmaids, that would be fine, and I would be okay not being a bridesmaid at all. I would be fine helping in other ways like you mentioned, such as a reader or with the guest book. I would NOT be okay with being an "almost" bridesmaid in most cases.

You know your family and friends best, so you can proceed accordingly, but at least you can be aware of possible reactions from your girls beforehand.

I sort of did this. I wanted my sister only and my bff. Both live far away, so I asked my 2 close friends intown.

Ihad 2 MOH's and 2 bm's the two MOH's one did a reading and one played piano during the ceremony, they both also said speeches, the other two still walked down tha aisle with me but didn't do a reading or speech.

As long as you include them somehow in the ceremony I think it's OK to have two sets as long as you're not talking like 8 bridesmaids, you really only need one or 2 in town to do fun things like dress shop and talk wedding to. But include them somehow. Even if they instead of walking down the aisle are the ones who usher and then go stand at the front with candles or something.

Include them in the wedding if you want to, but I wouldn't think about it as two sets of bridesmaids. It implies the second group is not good enough to make it to the "primary" BM group. If you call them the bridesmaids, they will probably feel obligated to do things for the wedding.

So have your BMs, whoever you want them to be, with everything that goes into being a BM - walking down the aisle, dress, etc. Let the other ones wear what they want to wear, and ask them to do a reading or play something it they can and want to. But I wouldn't divide them into sets, particularly not in any hierarchical sense.

I don't see why all of them can't be bridesmaids. How many are there?

Welcome to the WeddingWire Community @Michelle G

Any other insights ladies?

The problem is is I have a big family (two cousins, two sisters, a future sister in law, future cousin in law)!

If I have them, I don't want to exclude my dear friends.... if I had all of them, I would have 10.... yikes! Thus the dilemna....

Are you close to all those family members, though? I would say if you have friends you are closer to than family members, have the friends instead. Like I said before, if my best friend had her older sister as a bridesmaid over me (because I know she's not at all close to her sister), it would upset me, because of the relationship.

Now, if you ARE closer to all those family members, then make them your bridesmaids and ask your friends to be readers or other special roles WITHOUT mention of "bridesmaids" -- they can still be there to help you and whatnot even without the title. And they get to save money on a dress.

BTW, don't forget to update that avatar (the rings) so we can remember you in the future and tell you apart from spammers! The sticky on the main page tells you how!

I have heard of the is being refered to as a House Party- my exes cousin did this because of all her sorority sisters and family...

She had 9 bridesmaids that stood at the front and walked with groomsmen. They wore the obligatory dress and paid for the showers and such.

The house party was about 7 girls that all wore a black dress- they were mismatched, so no one had to fork out for a specific dress.

Before the ceremony, the House Party were like female ushers, they helped guests find seats, answered questions, managed the guest book, etc. THen come time for the ceremony to start, they walked together before the wedding party and were seated in the front row.

I thought is was nice. It was obvious these girls were important to the bride, and let's be honest, having more than a few (to me 9 was crazy!) is plenty of added stress. But some people are that close to a lot of people.

I might add that the House Party all wore corsages that matched the bridesmaids bouquets.

Why can't your extended family members (cousins, cousin-in-law) be part of the house party or be honored by doing the readings, and reserve the spots in your bridal party for your close family and close friends?

If I were asked to be on the "other" bridesmaids, I would feel like a second string, back-up BM and I wouldn't like that feeling.