Twin sister won’t stand up in wedding

I agree with the PP who said she just doesn't want to look bad in front of the religious community, which is so lame but unfortunately common. I think it depends on if you and your FW want her there. If not, I wouldn't feel at all bad about not inviting her.

That’d be a no for me. It’s causing too much drama for the bride and it’s very selfish.

Personally, if I were in your position I wouldn’t let her come, and would also not be allowing her in my life as much as possible. I mean— it’s 2020, people really need to get over themselves.

Attending the wedding means you support the couple's choices. If she doesn't, it's best that she's not invited if she will potentially stir up trouble.

Hahaha WOW! sooooo she won’t support you, but she’ll support a free meal and dancing?? If her feelings on marriage are that strong then why would she want to attend???? I’m sorry for you. She would not be invited. I know it’s hard to make a decision to not invite a family member to a wedding, believe me. But this is supposed to be your day. You should only have people there that love support you and support your marriage. That’s what attending a wedding is all about! You only attend a wedding because you support the people getting married! I understand respectfully disagreeing, and yes you can still maintain a relationship, but hell no she would not be invited to my wedding.

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I think this response is terribly dismissive of the real pain this situation is causing for the OP and her future spouse. Trivializing the sister's "lack of support" (really, bigotry and hatred) as her "beliefs" that should be allowed to be expressed without consequence is so demeaning.

Ahem, anyway, this situation is really difficult and complicated and I am so sorry you are dealing with this. While I think it should be ultimately up to your fiancée, because it's her family member, I agree with everyone who said that wedding guests should support the couple or what's the point of them being there?

Sure, no one knows what's in the heart of every wedding guest, but she didn't keep "her beliefs" to herself; she shared them in a really hurtful way. I would personally not be able to overlook that.

I wouldn’t invite her if she doesn’t support it then why be there

So, she wants a free pass o the party but not support you? If she's not at your wedding to support your marriage she shouldn't be there at all

I wouldn’t invite her- I uninvited anyone who didn’t fully support us together, and believing that your marriage hurts gods heart is, in essence, not supporting your relationship.

I’m so sorry that this is happening to both of you. I would discuss what YOU BOTH want and if you both want her there, fine but if not I’d say no. It’s your wedding and your decision on guest list. Life is too short to have those that do not believe in and support your union to be present. Weddings are about love, commitment and acceptance of each other. Standing up or sitting down doesn’t make a statement about her religious views on same sex marriage - it only states that she loves you as you. Blessings to both of you!

I'm so sorry for you all Samantha! That is absolutely terrible and hurtful. Personally, I'm pretty sure God has other things to worry about! I yi yi.

That said: If she were to come to the wedding, will she be bringing judgement and bad energy? Will she be gossiping about you all and shaming you? A wedding is a celebration of love and commitment between 2 people. She either wants to support you, or she doesn't.

Best of luck to y'all. This is a tough one.

I do not want to offend as this is just my opinion but here goes:
People who have certain religious beliefs can not just turn them off even if they want to. Her sister may want to attend the wedding because she loves and supports her sister (and you) but may not want to participate because it goes against her religious belief.
People can have different beliefs and still love and support one another. I had a family member marry a same sex partner and my Irish catholic family do not agree with that decision but most of them attended the wedding because even though they do not condone same sex marriage they love and support the family member Weddings are about love so let people show love the way they are capable

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I think your definitions of "love and support" are very different from mine. It's absolutely ok for the OP couple to decide that they don't want that kind of "love and support" at their wedding. Being tolerant and open minded doesn't mean one has to accept bigotry and intolerance.

View Quoted Comment I feel the same way. To me, Religion and beliefs are for individual. I can believe whatever you want, or not. However, I can not expect everyone to have the same view and live the same way I do.
🥂

*I can believe whatever I want.


Sorry, typo. WW should have a button to edit 😑

View Quoted Comment I have to respectfully disagree, people can love and support one another even when they share different beliefs. Calling someone a bigot for having religious beliefs is just as close minded as opposing same sex marriage. Learning to look past the fact that people have opposing opinions and beliefs is love and support as far as I am concerned. And since I experienced it in my own family I saw how much it meant to my family member who had the love and support of her very religious siblings just shows me how important it is to love a person not a belief