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TheeOne2Love
VIP December 2017

Traditional or Customized Vows?

TheeOne2Love, on April 4, 2017 at 6:25 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 24

How did you decide whether you wanted to customize or use traditional vows? My fiance and I have different opinions on what should be done.

24 Comments

Latest activity by Trista, on April 5, 2017 at 3:20 PM
  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
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    We are neither old-fashioned nor religious, so there was no question that we would be doing our own original vows.

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  • MTB
    Master May 2017
    MTB ·
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    We are doing both! I like what the traditional vows say but we still wanted to share something special with each other.

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  • Mrs. C
    Expert March 2017
    Mrs. C ·
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    We said traditional vows, and wrote each other letters that we exchanged before the ceremony. We're both very private people, so it worked best for us to do it that way.

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  • CJ
    VIP May 2018
    CJ ·
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    We'll be using traditional vows. FH is very private and I have a hard time with public speaking, so it was an easy choice for us.

    We will probably give each other a personalized letter the day of though, similar to YMC.

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  • MrsSki
    Master April 2017
    MrsSki ·
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    We customized the traditional vows:

    "I - - take you - - to be my husband,

    my constant friend, faithful partner and my love from this day forward.

    I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful companion

    In sickness and in health

    In good times and bad

    In joy and in sorrow.

    I promise to love you unconditionally

    To support you in your goals

    To honor and respect you

    To laugh and cry with you

    All the days of my life" ETA our pastor is still prompting us line by line so no worries about reading of a paper or forgetting something!

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  • CaboBride2018
    VIP May 2018
    CaboBride2018 ·
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    We will be using traditional nondenominational vows. Neither of us has interest in writing our own. Plus I feel it's kind of romantic to make the same promises as millions of our couples over the years.

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  • Mrs.HeThinksI'mBossy
    Expert May 2018
    Mrs.HeThinksI'mBossy ·
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    We did both. I wanted traditional and he wanted personal. I enjoyed the personal ones more, but am glad we did both. We did traditional first. It's probably uncommon, but you can definitely do both if it will make you both happy. Don't worry about what people will think.

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  • Michael V
    Michael V ·
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    Ask your officiant for samples of both kinds. It's often easier to decide once you see your vows on the written page. Putting your own twist on a traditional style like the folks above can be a good compromise as well. Best wishes!

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  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
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    Following because I like @Skis format

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  • E.V.
    VIP November 2017
    E.V. ·
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    We are writing our own. Something about the traditional vows don't "click" with us or feel sincere. (Though that's just us- there is nothing wrong with the traditional vows. Just not for us.)

    Editing because I'm too sleepy to write words correctly

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  • Natalie
    VIP March 2017
    Natalie ·
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    We did the Catholic vows. We're both baptized Catholics, but we had a civil ceremony. Our vows were the touch of Catholicism.

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  • ShanynL
    VIP September 2017
    ShanynL ·
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    We're taking pieces of the traditional vows, and making them our own.

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  • melanie
    Master August 2017
    melanie ·
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    We are doing a mix of traditional and customized

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  • OG Dianna
    Master March 2017
    OG Dianna ·
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    We did both. We had our personalized vows and then also, traditional ones.

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  • Angeline
    Devoted July 2017
    Angeline ·
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    We are doing traditional vows. We are both quite private. Do plan on giving notes ... but the day before delivered by our mother's.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    I'd say that most of my couples do write their own vows, but I don't recommend they memorize them...i either print them in a vow book or prompt them.

    Vows that are totally hand written should be short, personal, funny (if that's your personality), meaningful and, did I mention short? They should not retell your entire history, they should not have anecdotes about your life together, they shouldn't ramble. The time for personal stories is during the ceremony, in a concise, effective way.

    The short part is key; by the time you get to the vows, your guests know the end is near. Anything more than about four minutes is too long and really dilutes your message.

    Four lines about what you love about them, four lines of promises, which are the core of vows; it's the reason they're there.

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  • Alyssa B.
    Super April 2017
    Alyssa B. ·
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    FH and I are very private. We're saying traditional vows.

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  • K
    Super July 2017
    Karen ·
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    We've got a mix- vows are our own- ring exchange part are standard ---

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  • K
    Super July 2017
    Karen ·
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    I practiced mine out loud to keep it under two minutes...

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  • Chelsea
    Dedicated September 2017
    Chelsea ·
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    I cry too much at weddings so to keep me from making a total fool of myself we're doing short and sweet traditional vows.

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