Total Bridesmaid Regret! S.O.S.!

I don't fully understand... If they make you feel awful about your choices, just stop discussing wedding planning with them. They don't need to be involved in every single decision. Excited to go to Florida? Sure! That does sound exciting. I think sometimes brides don't realise that even though they are feeling wedding obsessed, those around them aren't. They don't need to get along with each other or be jumping around excited for your wedding in the months leading up to it. They DO need to get along with each other the day of.

You have to be aware that if you are asking your friends for advice, they may give you advice you don't like or not agree with your planning choices. If you are set with what you want to do - just go ahead and do it and leave everyone else out of the equation.

Today got me like

I have no advise other than try talking to each of them one on one. I was having issues with one of mine. We went out to lunch and had a talk about everything and it ended up that she was feeling slighted and kind of left out (not just by me but in general) and was taking it out on my wedding plus her and her husband have been having problems so seeing all of the happy-couple-gobbily-goop was not helping. I had no clue! I literally talk to this girl almost daily and I had no idea what was happening.

Sometimes people just need a reminder that under all of the pageantry of planning an executing a wedding, at the core its just a party and your relationships mean more than dresses and shoes.

I don't think you understand. They will ACTIVELY message me negative comments relating to the wedding. They will get upset when I don't include them in planning, but then berate me with negatively when I do include them. It feels like a lose-lose.

Stop telling them anything about your "decisions". They don't need to know every little detail.

THEN STOP TALKING TO THEM ABOTU THE WEDDING.

ETA: your a month out? what are you asking?

They are texting you out of the blue to tell you your ideas are horrible?

That seems pretty unlikely.

And if its true - they're jerks.

Also, who gets upset because they are not involved in wedding planning?! Its better to be away from the stress of it all. This makes no sense.

Oh yuck. I'm sorry you're experiencing mega stress from your friends.

There are some that I can agree with when they say to let the chips fall where they may AFTER your wedding (which usually means more stress) but I can also identify with the ladies that burn the bridge before the wedding (which may add even more stress.)

Your wedding isn't about making your BMs happy. Your wedding is celebrating two people and two families joining. Know that you're not alone; when 2 of any living thing comes together, conflict is bound to ensue somewhere LOL

But listen, if you haven't already expressed exactly what you're feeling to your BMs, I suggest doing that as soon as you can. Listen, be respectful and loving, and ultimately the decision is 1000% yours.

Man....

Stop talking about the wedding with them. When I was a BM and I had a vacation coming up, I was more excited about the vacation personally. You are not the center of their lives. As far as the drama between the ladies, they are grown ups, they should know how to handle themselves. Just politely remind them that you are no longer in high school.

Soon2Be- I LOVE that meme!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are you going to Florida?? Bachelorette weekend?

They're actively texting you that they don't like your choices?? That's really messed up. How do you respond? I'd stop sharing information with them like others have suggested, and tell your friends individually when this happens how much it hurts your feelings

The best thing is stop sharing information and LEAVE them out of the planning. Just make sure they buy their dress and show up. And if they are randomly texting you negative things about your wedding you might shut that down immediately or ignore.

*facepalm*

When is your wedding? I'm wondering if this is 'I chose my bridesmaids too early' type of deal. I definitely would stop talking about wedding stuff with them. That's pretty much the only solution.

I am sorry this is happening to you. I don't think it means that you are forcing them to think about your wedding if they are the ones initiating the message. But I hope you are able to cut them out of as much as possible.

Just stop telling them wedding details. If they ask, be vague and say that's there's no new details to share at the moment.

I just don't get this...you don't involve them; they get nasty. You do involve them; they get nasty. They get nasty for no apparent reason and text you out of the blue to spread their nastiness. but they want to go to Florida... I lost where Florida came into the picture. And these lovely young creatures are your closest friends? Hmm. Oh wait, 'self-invited' bridesmaids. I don't get that either.

Let this be cautionary tale #**** against:

-choosing bridesmaids too early

-giant wedding parties

-assuming your bridesmaids will be interested and actively involved in every minor detail of planning.