Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Rae
Beginner April 2019

Too many weddings

Rae, on April 17, 2018 at 10:45 AM

Posted in Planning 25

Good morning all! So we are getting married next April. This year we have SIX weddings. One, I am in, one is my brother's destination wedding in Mexico, in July. We are being as financially responsible as possible (driving home instead of hotels, responsible gifting etc.) but with our wedding...

Good morning all! So we are getting married next April. This year we have SIX weddings. One, I am in, one is my brother's destination wedding in Mexico, in July. We are being as financially responsible as possible (driving home instead of hotels, responsible gifting etc.) but with our wedding deposits being due, the Mexico wedding just seems like an impossible thing. Any suggestions on how to deal? How to let down my family gently about not attending? I'm trying very hard to keep ours reasonable but there just isn't enough to go around. *Also, he got engaged after me.

25 Comments

  • queenbee
    VIP October 2018
    queenbee ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Ugh, I know the feeling of wedding overload! FH and I had 7 last year, 3 of which he was a groomsman in. Between engagement parties, showers, bachelor parties, and the actual weddings we were completely drained financially. If we had gotten married last year we would have had to decline some of those invites for sure.

    If we had had a sibling getting married and had to choose between those other weddings or being able to attend the sibling’s I would definitely go to my siblings wedding! But I do understand that a destination wedding is a lot so it may not be possible for you to just decline invites to a few others locally and go to Mexico. Just explain to your family that going would not be financially possible for your FH and you. I would think that they would be understanding. But definitely don’t make any of the other weddings seem like they are taking priority! That may hurt your brothers feelings if he thinks that you’d rather go to someone else’s wedding instead of his. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted January 2019
    S ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Honestly, I think it is ridiculous and selfish for people to plan a destination wedding without checking with close family and friends before booking it. I can't imagine asking my family and friends to travel to a destination wedding. It just sounds so inconsiderate unless everyone close to you is wealthy, has flexible work schedules, and enjoys travel. I understand that you would feel bad declining - which is completely understandable - but try to keep in mind that it was his choice to have a destination wedding. Maybe you can offer to take him and his spouse out for a meal or drinks or something when they return.

    • Reply
  • K
    Expert May 2018
    K ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment


    It's 100% OK to not be a fan of destination weddings, but to say everyone who has one is "ridiculous", "selfish", and "inconsiderate" is very rude. I am by no means wealthy, and having a wedding in my area would have cost us twice the amount we paid for our destination wedding. On top of that, it's very rare that every family member and/or relative is in the same town/state as your wedding will be. Chances are, no matter the wedding - some people would have to take time off of work and/or travel.

    Now what WOULD be selfish would be for those throwing a destination wedding to get upset/mad at their family and friends that could not make it due to the travel. With a destination wedding, you have to be fully prepared to get plenty of declines depending on your guest list.

    OP, unfortunately if you cannot make it to your brother's wedding, that is the risk he took by deciding on having a DW. 6 weddings is definitely a lot financially, and it seems as though you are trying to do everything you can to make the process less costly. As some previous posters have said, I would just offer to take them out to a nice dinner or something along those lines.

    • Reply
  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Having the wedding in your area might have cost you double, but all you did was push that additional cost onto your guests for travel expenses. It's not like it was actually necessarily any cheaper.

    That is part of the issue I have with destination weddings. I do think it's inconsiderate in many cases.

    • Reply
  • K
    Expert May 2018
    K ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Actually no, it did not. Half of our guests live in the State we opted to have our destination wedding in. Either way, half of our guests would have had to travel. Guests have the option to decline if it is too far for their travel preferences. It did in fact make it cheaper, since paying for this wedding, travel expenses, and guest hotel accommodations cost us less than it would have in our area.

    We decided to have our wedding where we got engaged seeing as it’s sentimental to us.

    Don’t get me wrong, I can definitely see where people CAN be inconsiderate when it comes to destination weddings. That doesn’t give anyone the right to classify everyone who has one inconsiderate, ridiculous, or selfish.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics