Too many weddings

It does not matter that he got engaged after you. Like not at all.

Honestly, there is no way I would miss my brother's wedding. I would skip going to all of the other ones if it meant saving the money to go to his wedding. See if you can use any credit card points you've racked up over the years for your flights.

When he got engaged is irrelevant.

”sorry we won’t be able to make it. We hope we can celebrate with you guys when you return from Mexico” No one needs to know your financial situation.

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This.

Do not disclose your personal finances to someone.

I agree with @BoudreauToBe - That is something I would not miss.

I agree, who else is getting married that it's worth missing your brothers wedding? I would not attend the other weddings to make sure I could go to my brothers wedding.

I feel you, we only have 4 weddings this year but 2 are destination. I was also invited to 2 destination bachelorette parties (and my FI to one, thankfully his other 2 are local), we've made all of these work because we WANT to.

We are also getting married this year. We are putting off whatever we can in order to afford all of these events (landscaping for our home, delaying the honeymoon). We opened up a Delta and Jet Blue Credit card to cover our flights to the destination weddings (paid them off just wanted/needed the bonus points).

Ultimately these are some of our closest friends, so we have figured out a way to make it work. If you can't afford it then don't go but if you can find a way to, I would try, especially for your brother's wedding.

The other weddings are : 2 cousins and a step sister on my fiance's side, a cousin (wedding that I'm in) and a friend on my side. I'm already planning on not making it to my friends wedding.

Not mentioned earlier- my brother and his fiance have already 'called off' the wedding once due to their constant bickering. He doesnt seem to care that it might not work out in the long run.

I would miss one of the other weddings and attend my brothers.

No matter how much you want to attend all, sometimes it's just not possible due to financial reasons.

I will attend my brother's wedding. Your FH can stay behind but you try and make it. Goodluck

It doesn't matter when he got engaged....but if I were your brother I'd be extremely upset that you spent all of this money for other weddings when you could have skipped them all to attend mine. Family over friends, always. Assuming you've known when his wedding was for a while, it shouldn't have been that hard to try to plan to save the money from other weddings and attend his.

View Quoted Comment But what if it isn't called off this time? Have they booked vendors?

If her brother really wanted everyone there he wouldn't have chosen a destination wedding. If I couldn't afford to attend my brother's wedding because of the unnecessary travel involved I would sadly decline to attend. Financial stability is far more important that trying to attend every wedding and wedding event. It doesn't make you a bad person for not going.

If I had 6 weddings and a destination wedding looking me in the face I would decide what I could afford and what fit into that dollar figure. The rest would be declines. The value of your friendship isn't determined by your attendance at a wedding. It is defined by commitment and years long relationships. Not attending a one day party.

Omg do I hear this!

My my dad is getting married soon (destination wedding too)and I will be missing his wedding. We, too, have six weddings this year, as well as a cross-state move, new job starting, two trips to Argentina, and our one year anniversary.

i called my dad and just told him I couldn't make it. We offered to take he and his new wife to a nice dinner and drinks when they are in our city. I think making it a crap sandwich (good-crap-good): "We love you and are so happy you are happy. We won't be able to make it to your wedding. We'd love to host you and "wife" when you are around"

While I agree that you should try to make your brother’s wedding, I see OP’s point about her brother getting engaged after. Obviously her brother is allowed to get married whenever and wherever he wants, but he did know that OP was engaged and planning a wedding at the time he decided to have a destination wedding that would require expensive travel. He must have known that might be difficult. I think it would be a little different if his wedding had been planned already when OP got engaged and then she decided not to go to save for her own wedding.

I think if you look at the numbers and it’s not financially possible for you to go, don’t be too hard on yourself and just make sure to celebrate with them when they get back.

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Unfortunately, I wouldn't know about vendors being booked. The fiance doesn't talk to us about any details and we haven't even met her family (after multiple mentions and attempts.)

The airline credit card is a good idea, and something we have considered.

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Apparently 4 of the others weddings are for family. Just one is for a friend and OP said she was planning on missing that one.

It's definitely a tough situation. How close are you with your cousins OP (not including the wedding you're a part of)?

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bdamaro- the 3 weddings on Fiances side are all local, and financially not a big burden. I'm borrowing/rewearing outfits and gifts will not be a big thing. We tried to bail on the one (gonna be an interesting one) and his mother begged us to still come (its also 3 days post mexico trip). I have also tried to shorten the mexico trip and that hasn't worked either.

My FHs cousin got engaged after us and are doing a destination wedding before us. So I know it’s irritating but it’s nothing they did wrong.
i would just let them know that you can’t make it. “Hey, I just wanted to let you know I don’t think we are going to able to make it to Mexico but we really want to see you guys when you get back so we can celebrate with you”

Michelle- We are planning on doing a big family party in the fall. ALOT of our family can't go to the destination wedding. She wanted destination, my brother is just along for the ride lol

Thank you all for the suggestions and advice!

I'm not a fan of destination weddings, and I think that people who have them need to understand that they may be a hardship for their guests. Look at this situation- so many people here are saying the OP needs to go.

If it was that important to the brother and his fiancee that people are able to go, they would have had a local wedding. Look at all the posters here who say it's your day do what you like and if they love you they will come. That is a lot to ask of your guests.

I think if brother and fiancee made the choice to have a destination wedding, they need to be prepared for declines. At the end of the day, a wedding is just a big party. I would never spend thousands of dollars for anyone else's wedding.