too many guests!!!

Hi Kaitlin. It is ok just to invite to the ceremony but you will need to send 2 seperate invitations. 1 to those attending both and another one just for those who are invited to the ceremony. You will need to word the second so it sounds like an announcement and then inviting them to the ceremony. As far as the number of guests! I would check with the church to make sure it is ok. I know there are fire codes etc.. that might be an issue. Hope this helps. Let me know if you need more help with your invites.

Wow, that's a lot of guests! :-) I dunno about inviting 100 over seating capacity to the church, that might get a lil dicey ..Although in my experience (not that I have much) but there are typically less people who attend the actual ceremony..What time of the day is your wedding, that might also impact whether or not people come to the ceremony?

I really don't think that you should invite more people than the church can accommodate. Yes, more likely than not, a lot of those people won't be able to make it. But you have to plan on 100% attendance. If they do all attend, it is going to be horribly uncomfortable to have all those people in there, not to mention, it might be a fire hazard.

I also don't think that you should invite people to just the reception. In my opinion, it's an all or nothing kind of thing. The people you invite should be close enough to you to witness your vows. Besides, with that many people attending the reception, you won't have the opportunity to speak with everyone.

I really think you should see if you can cut your guest list down to 400 people.

You could always move it to outside and not in the church, although that's risky weather-wise, but you may have religious reasons for doing it in the church..that way you could rent chairs for enough people.

In my opinion, you invite people to both the reception and the ceremony, or neither. Also 600 gurests is not too many if you can both afford that, and are able to accommodate them. If I was in your position, I would either trim the guest list to what the church and reception can hold, or find another church and reception venue.

I don't see anything wrong with inviting to the reception and not the ceremony. A lot of people do that. We are going to invite close friends and family to the ceremony and reception, but then we are going to invite more friends and family that aren't as close to the dance. Part of the reason is due to budget issues, but they should still feel honored to be invited.

Traditionally, it is perfectly acceptable to invite people to the reception but not the ceremony. It is NEVER acceptable to do it the other way around (ceremony but not reception).

I agree that you shouldn't invite more people to the ceremony than you can accommodate--we've had a couple of panicked people here in the past, who assumed a much higher declination rate than they actually got and had already booked venues that were too small. So better safe than sorry.

But as for inviting more people to the reception, that's fine.

Thanks guys

the ceremony will be at 2pm the Saturday after July 4th (which is a Monday). 600 people sounds like a lot to me too. but FS is a fifth generation farmer and has MANY cousins and good family friends that need to be invited... a lot of those people live in the area which might increase our turnout too

I will be calling the church sometime this week to find out that their maximum capacity is for fire hazard. if we needed to we could probably add about 20 seats by adding an extra row in the front and perhaps even more by adding a chair to each of the side rows.

I want to be married in this church since it is where I attend and I believe that the only other non-catholic church in town big enough has already been booked.

those of you that have been married, do you know what your turnout rate was?

I was planning on sending out STD's but not sure if i should since that will only increase my turnout.... I've already designed them but haven't ordered them yet.

*not that i have anything against catholics ~ i believe you have to be catholic to be married in their church tho

For that many guests, I would expect a higher turn-down rate, but if it's a close-knit community, people might be more inclined to come. In general, I've heard to expect that 80% of invited guests will attend, but like I said, I really think it's a bad idea to count on that when you're planning.

Has anyone here done an A/B list? it sounds like a hard thing to pull off and something that could easily offend but might be my best option.

For the ceremony, I wouldn't send out invites to any more than 400 guests. If someone says 'no' on their RSVP, you might be able to start adding some extra people in.

I think it is ok to invite more people to the reception. Anyone who get invited to the ceremony will naturally assume that they will be invited to the reception as well, so, I agree with Cabell in that you can have more for the party, but not the other way around.

Try to cut off the list, analyze, and think if you are inviting some cuz of commitment or ''obligation'' or cuz u want em to be there. Also, think if they do deserve or not. Another thing that you can do is to write a polite form of saying ''No Children'' or you may also consider putting certain number of people on the wedding invitation. Lemme think on another choice... to RSVP asap and the deadline would be on certain day.

Sorry if i sound like a tactless witch, but it really sucks when you invite someone to your quinceanera or wedding and this person is stabbing you on the back or in your face and you're quite aware of it because it is a relative of yours lol.

I would only invite the number you/ceremony can accomodate. Some people might only want to come the ceremony and not necessary attended the reception, or people talk to this person and still show up to the ceremony eventhough not invited. Can you accomodate unexpected guests dropping in the ceremony?

Unless it is a small immediate family only (parents, siblings and your own children if you have any) ceremony, you should not invite people to the reception and not the ceremony. As a guest, I would feel slighted if I found out you had 400 people at your ceremony, but I wasn't good enough or close enough to make the cut. Out of 400 people.

You can absolutely have a more private 'family' ceremony and more people to the reception,(never visa versa unless you're inviting an entire church population and then doing cake and punch before a "real" reception...) but what Shellie brought up is a very valid point. Inviting 600 people to a wedding probably isn't going to make any of them feel especially special.

And really, no one "has" to be invited.

Yeah it's alright cause i'm doing that also. we can only fit 50 people in our ceremony site and we have 75-100 so we are only choosing our closet friends and family to the ceremony and everyone else is invited to the recepition. if that is the case let everyone know on the STDs so that they all know ahead of time so that people can't be mad that they weren't choosen to go to the ceremony. like mine says" We are sorry to annouce that not everyone is able to come to the ceremony cause we have limited space so the ceremony is for close friends and family,but everyone is invited to the recepition". Good Luck

Holy Lord!

And I thought my wedding was going to be big.

I'm inviting 200.

And yes, it is ok to invite to the reception and not the ceremony.

Thanks for all the advice, i've cut my list to 180 and we are going to be working on cutting FS's list down as well, we've agree that it would be rude to invite people to just the reception when there are so many people invited to the wedding (it would be different if it was a small wedding). So we are going to invite 450 people to the wedding, if they all show up then some people will just have to stand (it won't be a long service). and we have lots of room at the reception hall so that won't be a problem.

Thanks for all the help and ideas