Too many guests for my venue

I somewhat ran into this problem and there are really only 2 solutions. Cut the guest list to fit the venue or change venues to accommodate everyone you want. There is no other alternative.

We booked a venue that we loved that could fit more than what we had on our list. Due to some financial changes we had to switch to something smaller and more affordable. The "smaller" venue told us that they could hold 200 people so we paid the deposit and went on with planning, we sent save the dates, etc.

Once we started to figure out table layouts for linen purposes, I realized they fit 200 WITHOUT a dance floor, a buffet table, etc. I had a really hard time squeezing 160 guests, and a dance floor, and a buffet/cookie table, etc. I was pissed and should have asked for a layout. We didn't have to cut the list, and I'm slightly praying not everyone can come just to make it more comfortable for everyone but it is what it is. You cannot make a room bigger, they often have number limits for fire purposes as well.

Do what you gotta do to make it comfortable for everyone.

Would you be open to having heavy hors d'oeuvres for the reception, rather than a sit-down meal? If so, that might make enough room so that you can invite all the guests on your list. Of course, check with your venue to be sure that they can still fit some standard tables (maybe 6 or 8) and scattered high-tops with 190 guests, but that might be a good solution. You could also look into renting some non-traditional furniture too (a few couches and comfy chairs, or benches) to add alternative seating.

I would honestly try again to cut your list down. It’s really hard, but it CAN be done. Do you need to invite your entire family? I cut out some second cousins, for example, cause I just don’t know them well and it would have made the guest list way too big. Are there friends on your list that you’ve grown apart from but just added them without thinking? I took off an old college friend once I realized we’ve lost touch. I’d go down the list one by one and seriously consider who you could take off.

I just can’t imagine switching venues, let alone a second time, just because you ended up with 40 more people than planned. Can you even get your deposit back if you switch?

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The deposit is non refundable. The reason I have so many family members is because I have four sides of family I’m including-my mother’s mom and step grandad, my mother’s dad and step grandma, my dad’s side, and my step dad’s side.

I’ve gone over the list of just those several times and I’ve only got about 3 I wouldn’t personally invite, but they are my mom’s siblings and I couldn’t leave them out per her request. Other than that, I made sure not to include family members I only see during the holidays or those I consider distant. As far as my friends, I’ve only invited those I talk to regularly, if I hadn’t talk to them in over 3months, they were left off the list as well. Then, I added family friends who I’ve grown up with. I only included church members I’m super close with, which is causing a slight feud with my mother because she feels the entire church should be invited. My mom is paying for 60% of the wedding so I can’t completely disregard her requests, but we simply don’t have the space to accommodate extra people. I’m sure I’m over thinking this a little, but we don’t really have other options since many venues were already booked on our date and my fiancé is not budging in changing the date.

I don't know your church. But some smaller local churches here, it is not uncommon to open the ceremony to lots of church members. Private party guests go on to a reception at a venue, any cocktail hour or door opening for reception usually about 45 minutes to an hour after ceremony end. Church members only go to a church hall for up to an hour, a small collation, or punch and cake. The couple and parents stay about 45 minutes max, then go to the private reception. Just cake and simple coffee, tea, ir punch, is inexpensive. It does mean pictures are done before the ceremony, and sometimes the families or couple step out of the reception an hour or more after dancing starts for any posed pics they did not get before. If this would be an acceptable thing in your church group, it might relieve crowding a bit, and meet your Mom's wishes to be more open to church members. Depends very much on size and customs of your religious group.

I would say figure out how to cut your list. I'm sure your FH had to think hard about who he wanted in his 75 people and I personally would be frankly super annoyed if I spent the time to get down to my 75 nearest and dearest and then had my spouse go 'Yea.... I'm going to invite 110 from my side'.

You don't necessarily have to invite equal amounts from equal sides, but if this is what you agreed to then you have to honor that - or at least be close to that amount. I would group your list into A, B, C, D, E... etc lists of importance ranging from - if we eloped who would be there (A list should have like 8 names max) and going down there from importance. Then invite as many of the groups as you have space to invite.

There are three options: change venues, cut guest list, or do the 200 standing.

I'm curious, did you decide your venue before finalizing your guest list? If you had done your guest list first you would have realized how many people you had and found an appropriate venue. I realize at this point it's a little late for that, but for any newly engaged brides it's important information.