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Dedicated November 2019

Too many bridesmaids??

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MrsMcCormick, on January 9, 2018 at 9:23 AM

Posted in Planning 25

Hi everyone, my fiancé and I have pretty much decided to have 7 bridesmaids, and 7 groomsmen. I felt totally fine with this, but now my mom and sister have me second guessing myself and I need some advice...

Right now, my bridal party includes my younger sister as maid of honor. This wasn’t necessarily my first choice, but my mom sort of guilted/pushed me into this as my sister had cancer about 4 years ago. My mom said to me “Sometimes I worry she could get sick again, I would hate for you to have regrets.” She has been in remission for about 3 years, and I’m fine with my choice to make her MOH now, but that really sucked hearing and made me feel awful. I also have my two older sisters, my future sister in law, and 3 friends as bridesmaids.

Well, last night I got a text from my younger sister saying “Mom thinks you shouldn’t have that many bridesmaids. She thinks it’s weird to have half the guests be bridesmaids.” Now I’m second guessing myself. I haven’t told all the bridesmaids yet so there is still time to change it, but should I? Is 7 really too many? We are having 125 guests so obviously she was exaggerating but I just don’t know what to do. Also if anyone has additional advice on how to deal with the impending comments and drama from my mom during this planning process I’d appreciate it!

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25 Comments

Master March 2017
BlueHenBride · on January 9, 2018 at 10:41 AM
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Personally, I think it's too many BMs when you're oicking someone just to have an equal number of BMs and GM, not because it's someone you feel is one if your closest friends in the universe. I do think it can be weird to have an obscene number of WP members when you're having a really small wedding, but 125 isn't a small wedding and 7 isn't a huge number of BMs.

The only opinions on who should be in your WP that matter are yours and your FS'. Your mom shouldn't have an opinion on this.
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VIP April 2018
Julie · on January 9, 2018 at 10:55 AM
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I have 6 and you don’t realize how expensive it gets until you’re buying flowers and gifts. Financially if you can afford 14 gifts (BM & GM), 8 bouquets and hair/makeup if you’re requiring it - then have as many bridesmaids as you like! 6 has beeen tight for me but I love all my girls!
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Super January 2018
Miaaa · on January 9, 2018 at 11:23 AM
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I have 7 on each side. I have a larger wedding, but I think your guest number is perfectly fine. I bought their gifts early so it's not all at once at the end (also paying for hair and makeup which is optional).
I told my parents (who are also paying) that they have zero input as to who the bridal party will be. They can be very traditional so they're iffy about the idea of even married bridesmaids, then one of my bridesmaids got pregnant. I told them about it because they would have had mini freak out later if they didn't know (she'll be 6 months along), but I followed that with she's still in my bridal party because she's one of my best friends and they absolutely don't get a say in who my girls will be. It was totally fine.
Over the next almost two years you're going to have a LOT of opinions coming your way. Especially if your family is as opinionated as mine. If you make a decision that you and your FS are comfortable with, stick with it. Explain your reasoning. Don't shoot down EVERYTHING they say without consideration; however, don't sway to everything either. If you're having doubts about a decision, discuss them with your fiance before your family.
good luck!
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on January 9, 2018 at 8:27 PM
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Has everyone been asked already? If not, wait on asking people for at least a year. Relationships change. Also sides don't have to be even.
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Expert June 2019
Lauren · on January 9, 2018 at 8:44 PM
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Ask whoever you want, it's YOUR bridal party. Nobody should be telling you their opinion about right and wrong for your own wedding. At the end of the day what the heck does it matter to anyone else if there are 20 bridesmaids? 7 is a completely average number
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