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Dedicated November 2019

Too many bridesmaids??

MrsMcCormick, on January 9, 2018 at 9:23 AM Posted in Planning 0 25

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Hi everyone, my fiancé and I have pretty much decided to have 7 bridesmaids, and 7 groomsmen. I felt totally fine with this, but now my mom and sister have me second guessing myself and I need some advice...

Right now, my bridal party includes my younger sister as maid of honor. This wasn’t necessarily my first choice, but my mom sort of guilted/pushed me into this as my sister had cancer about 4 years ago. My mom said to me “Sometimes I worry she could get sick again, I would hate for you to have regrets.” She has been in remission for about 3 years, and I’m fine with my choice to make her MOH now, but that really sucked hearing and made me feel awful. I also have my two older sisters, my future sister in law, and 3 friends as bridesmaids.

Well, last night I got a text from my younger sister saying “Mom thinks you shouldn’t have that many bridesmaids. She thinks it’s weird to have half the guests be bridesmaids.” Now I’m second guessing myself. I haven’t told all the bridesmaids yet so there is still time to change it, but should I? Is 7 really too many? We are having 125 guests so obviously she was exaggerating but I just don’t know what to do. Also if anyone has additional advice on how to deal with the impending comments and drama from my mom during this planning process I’d appreciate it!

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Latest activity by Lauren, on January 9, 2018 at 8:44 PM

Super May 2018
Josh & Justine · on January 9, 2018 at 9:33 AM
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Best wishes to your sister, happy to hear she’s healthy now.

We have 6 each and 100 guests at our wedding. 7 each for 125 guests seems perfectly reasonable. Regardless of the number of guests, though, it’s really just your choice who you want standing with you.

That’s incredibly annoying of your mom to push you to include more people and then question how many you have. At this point, just be firm and let her know your decicisons are your decisions, and you won’t be changing them. That goes for any other choices you make that she may question/comment on. I thank my mom for her input, but she knows the decisions I make are based on what FH and I want. Period.
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Savvy October 2019
Morgan · on January 9, 2018 at 9:41 AM
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My FH and I are having 8 on each side with about 150 people in attendance. Everyone we chose to stand up next to us has had an impact on our lives and most of them are couples we hang out with all the time.
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Master August 2017
MrsMitch · on January 9, 2018 at 9:43 AM
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It's up to you and your FH how many you want in the wedding party. I had 4 and my husband had 5. I will say the less people in the wedding party the less drama.
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Super January 2019
Sunshine · on January 9, 2018 at 9:50 AM
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Keep in mind that someone might not say yes, it is a financial burden to be in a bridal party and not everyone can afford to do so. You might end up with 5 BMs and 7 GM. Also keep in mind that additional flowers for the bridal party becomes expensive, you'll be spending more on BM and GM gifts, that's more people at the rehearsal dinner, longer getting ready time if multiple people are doing pro hair and makeup, etc.
I'm personally team small bridal party. With that being said, I don't think you should listen to one word your mother has to say about it. Its your wedding, if these people mean so much to you that you want them to stand with you that is your decision. I seriously regret listening to anything my mother had to say about my wedding. Stay strong, don't let her stress you out or make you second guess yourself.
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Just Said Yes March 2019
Whitly · on January 9, 2018 at 9:55 AM
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My FH and I are having 7 on each side with 350 guest. We both come from Big families, so we couldn't just leave out our siblings. Which left us with 2 friends on each side to have in our wedding. An the friends we chose have been the people that have been there for us even before we knew each other. I don't see any problem with having 7 bridesmaids. My mother too also thought it was too many, however it is simply mine and my FH ultimate decision in the end.
Keep your chin up and good luck!!
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Beginner August 2018
Angela & Christopher · on January 9, 2018 at 9:59 AM
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This is your wedding, not your mom's. I have 10 bridesmaids and 10 groomsmen and 200 guests. You want to be happy on your big day with no regrets. If your hubby is helping he has an opinion too. What does he think? What is your mom paying for? Will you be happy with the ppl who love you, sitting with everyone else or standing beside you? Note to self, this is your day and God bless you with a husband.
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Rockstar July 2018
Mcskipper · on January 9, 2018 at 9:59 AM
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Mom needs to butt out,
Proportionately your number is fine. A 14 person bridal party for a wedding of 40 would be a lot. This is not,
The only reason you might want fewer is expense— bigger BP=bigger check to florist and more gifts to buy. But if that’s not an issue or concern, there’s no need to make cuts.
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Super June 2018
FutureMrs.V · on January 9, 2018 at 10:00 AM
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I have 8 BM and FH has 8 groomsmen. 5 of each are family. It's a lot. I have 180 guests invited. If you want your girls to stay with you the night before the wedding, you'll need to pay for additional hotel rooms. Gifts are expensive too. I'm coming in at around $1000 and that's from DIYing some stuff for them. Coordinating dresses is difficult usually, but my girls liked the style and colors I sent inspo pics of. I had to accommodate to a wide range of sizes, so Davids was the best option. One of my BM couldn't afford to spend money on a dress at all, so I paid for it. At the end of the day I would take back asking one girl, but other than that I'm happy. If they are all close with you, you can ask them all. Just be prepared for costs, differing opinions, schedule conflicts if you look at dresses, etc. you'll definitely have to do a sweetheart table as well. I got a huge kings table to put all WP and their SOs together at. The head table would've been almost 40 feet long with just WP otherwise. As far as you mom, is she financially contributing? If they don't pay, they don't get a say. WP is for sure one thing that is completely up to you and your FH.
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Beginner September 2018
Marie · on January 9, 2018 at 10:01 AM
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That's a perfectly reasonable number. I have a MOH, 5 bridesmaids, a Jr bridesmaid and flower girl for a 200(ish) person wedding. Its your day, do it your way!
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Dedicated January 2019
Brianna · on January 9, 2018 at 10:03 AM
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I think 7 is fine . Me and FH have 6 each .. it's truly what you want FH want . Don't let no one try and tell you otherwise
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Dedicated November 2019
MrsMcCormick · on January 9, 2018 at 10:03 AM
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That’s my biggest issue too! I can’t leave my sisters out, I’m only having 3 friends and it was hard to get it to just 3 as is. My mom is just so opinionated and knows exactly what to say to get me to doubt myself, I can already tell it’s gunna be a long two years
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Dedicated November 2019
MrsMcCormick · on January 9, 2018 at 10:07 AM
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We originally had 6 each, but he decided he wanted to make a close female friend of ours a grooms woman. They’ve been friends for years and years. I didn’t mind this because I had a few friends I had been wanting to make bridesmaids, I was more than happy to pick another! My mom is helping financially, but is getting help from my dad (they’re divorced), and my FH’s parents, and we are also pitching in as much as we can afford.
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VIP September 2018
Mrs.Sanok · on January 9, 2018 at 10:08 AM
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I am sorry that your mom is being a pain. I am also happy to hear that your sister is healthy and I really hope it stays that way!
If you are happy with the size of your wedding party then just do what makes you happy. To me that is a big wedding party, but I also only have a couple really close friends. And all of them are in the wedding party between mine and FH side.
It sucks but there always seems to be drama around peoples wedding party. My FH, me and FSIL had a huge blow out because I did not choose her to part of my wedding party. But we are not close and I only wanted people in my party that didn't bring negativity to our wedding day.
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Dedicated November 2019
MrsMcCormick · on January 9, 2018 at 10:09 AM
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I’m not overly worried about the additional cost, we will be able to make it work. All of the bridesmaids have expressed intrest in being a part of the bridal party so I’m almost positive they’ll all say yes, the 4 I’ve told have already said yes. As for dresses, the ones I’ve picked out are from David’s bridal and pretty fairly priced! My mom just knows how to get under my skin and make me doubt myself
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Just Said Yes February 2018
Erica · on January 9, 2018 at 10:17 AM
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Hey There!
You have to remember that this is your day. If you removed your friends from the bridal party, you will have people standing next to you on the most important day of your life that you may not have necessarily chosen.
She already made you feel guilty into making one decision, so don't let her sway you on this one too.
We don't get many days that are all about You and Your marriage to the person of your dreams.
This is a one time deal and you should get to pick whatever you want
(And our families start to wonder why we don't ask them for much help with the wedding.) They are far too opinionated and end up stressing us out even more. Don't be afraid to say no, and choose whatever makes you happy. Youre the one who is getting married after all.
I wish you the best of luck! Don't let ANYBODY pressure you into changing what youre doing.

xoxox
Erica
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Super March 2018
Stephanie · on January 9, 2018 at 10:19 AM
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It's perfectly fine to have that many! Don't stress - and honestly, wait another year before asking anyone else anyway. You've got plenty of time to see how those relationships grow and change. You don't want to lock yourself in too early and then regret it later.
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Super June 2018
FutureMrs.V · on January 9, 2018 at 10:23 AM
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That sounds great then! You've thought it through (deifinitely more than I did). I would just express to your mom that it hurts your feelings when she tries to disagree with a wedding decision that you're excited about, or just not go out of your way to tell her anything. I hope it gets better for you!
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Super August 2018
AugustBride · on January 9, 2018 at 10:23 AM
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We are also having 7 and we have 250 guests
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Just Said Yes September 2018
Leidy · on January 9, 2018 at 10:29 AM
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Hey, not at all!! I think on average the number is 6 on each side but I'm having 9 on each side. 7 is a good number! Besides you get to decide who you want to stand right by you on your day not your mom.
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Dedicated May 2024
Prisonmike · on January 9, 2018 at 10:31 AM
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I don't think 7 is too many. I think when you start getting in the double digits it may be too many. As long as you can manage to not expect them to be revolved around your wedding, and not be a butthole you'll be fine.
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Too many bridesmaids??

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