Too expensive!

I personally think you need to change your venue. It sounds to me your venue is way to expensive for 66 guest you should be way under 15K. I am having a total of 150 guest and our Venue was inclusive with catering and came to about 12K. So look at other venues before making the final decision you should be able to get something you really like and more within your budget.

We are using a combined venue and caterer. The catering standard package is $150 per person, but we are having a lunch reception so we cut out everything except for hors douerves and the entrees. So it's now $70 per person. For 125 people, our food budget is still below 10k! We have a 15k budget too but literally double as many people as you are having. $9000 sound like an absurd amount for 66 people!

*We're in New Jersey too so similar region

Well now that you said that I really see what you are saying...your not over thinking it the clothing the makeup everything does add up quickly...Maybe if you can find away to cut cost of not going over that 15K if maybe you have a family member or friend that can do your makeup or hair then you are saving some kind of way. It's your day and it should be special which can be costly. My advice may not be helpful but I hope everything works out for you and Congratulations!

Also look into to see if you can provide your own Alcohol because that would also come out cheap for you..We are having open bar but we are providing the Alcohol ourselves which made our price come down by 3000 dollars...So just keep that in mine maybe you can provide your own Alcohol it would be much cheaper.

You might consider having a restaurant reception. They typically do not have a minimum. (If your guest list is too small to sell out the whole restaurant, they will often have a private room that can accommodate you.) They typically don't charge you for the venue, if you are purchasing the food and drink. And of course they include things like chairs in the price.

Typically, the cost of your reception rental, food, and alcohol is about half your total budget. The rest is dress, hair, make-up, photography, DJ, etc. So if your budget is $15,000, you're looking for a restaurant that can provide food and drink for 66 people (including tax and tip) for about $7,500. Even in Connecticut, that should be doable with a moderately priced restaurant.