Today's Ask Amy regarding showers/eloping

Wow .....

O_O

OMG... the BA(($ some ppl have

And of course, you aren't supposed to invite people to the shower unless they are invited to the wedding--which presumably none of her shower guests were.

I thought it was interesting that they aren't even calling it a reception, but a bridal shower. But, yea, takes a lot of gall. And the bride's mom is throwing it? Wow.

However, FH's family is from Honduras and his family throw their own baby and bridal showers (my brother's wife is from there, too, and she had her own shower, so maybe it's a local custom thing there), but I told him to let them know in the U.S. that is rude!

I have such mixed feelings about this.

The "Miss Manners" in me is thinking - I can't believe that was on the invite. And the practical side of me thinks - well, at least it is what they really want/need!

ALSO - so weird to have a shower AFTER you are married. Why isn't is a reception?

And, if you just don't register for anything, don't people normally gift cash? Why not just do that and skip the awkward request.

Um. either don't go or go and give cash, easy as that. (even if it was rude of her mom to ask that way, she probably figures thats what her daughter needs, it's not your friends fault. She might not even be aware of this) I don't personally go to showers of people who's weddings I don't get invited to. Batchlorette's yes showers no. but I say give her like $25.

Kristina--it was just a repost from the newspaper today, not my request

I wouldn't go to a shower after the wedding (that I wasn't invited to, especially) and I sure as heck wouldn't give money in that situation. It's not even right for her mother to have a shower. It sounds to me like a cheap way to get some fast cash and that's rude in my opinion. Otherwise, they would have a "reception" or a "post-wedding celebration" and I don't even see the point of that except to get gifts, considering it was "months ago".

That's repulsive.

That's horrible!

Send a $1.00 vase from Dollar General.

Weird.. although I know this is totally not the same thing, but I had 2 baby showers that people threw for me AFTER I had my son... why? Because he was 12 weeks preemie!! LOL. So no one was actually able to have a shower for me before he was born. Which worked out okay since I got lots of preemie clothes for him, which I needed!

Wow that advice literally threw out every etiquette book out there - hell they had a book burning ceremony with that.

That is a wonderful idea. I am going to give my BMs a copy of my car loan statement and ask them to do this for me. Screw Crate & Barrel.

I wonder if the bride had any idea what the host was doing until the invitations went out. Sometimes I feel bad for honorees when their hosts do wacky stuff like that...it's hard to know exactly which person you should side-eye first.

This reminds me of the bride who sent out FB wedding invites and sent more expensive registry items to the people she thought could afford it. Some People.

@Didi R.: Baby showers are different. It is not an etiquette faux pas to invite people to a baby shower even though they are not invited to the delivery. ;-) Plus, people who elope do so voluntarily, whereas a premature delivery is typically not voluntary.

Wow...

"Hey guys, thanks for coming to our wedding, you mind dropping a few bucks in the card box on the way out? we sorta never really had enough money for this wedding." HAHAHA

What a weird request ... I probably would not go ...