Toasts When Dinner is Before Grand Entrance?

I dont have a cock tail hour either and our guests go into the hall get drinks, eat the cheese/fuit bar and mingle while were doing pics then once we make our grand entrance the caterers serve us our plates and start the buffet lines once everyone is seated and eating we do the toasts then the cake cutting while everyone is enjoying the cake we are going to do our first dances and then garter toss, bouquet toss and ect. Its a good flow to the day.

They will be finished eating by the time we make our entrance.

When are YOU going to eat? You can do toasts whenever you want - just have the DJ (or whoever has the sound system) clued in. You'll want to do it earlier in the evening - because you'll lose some of the older crowd after the cake/first dance/bouquet/garter activities.

@MB's Mom: Okay, so basically we can just stop the music whenever and do toasts. Won't that be awkward with people walking around and visiting with each other? And I can't decide if we should eat before our first dance or go straight into the first dance from the Grand Entrance. I could use some help there, too.

I wouldn't do that....I would ask the venue to do an appetizer buffet while you are finishing photos. Then have your grand entrance and then the buffet dinner.

If you do this, your guests will eat some apps, get drinks, mingle. Then there is a signal that you are about to enter, so the guests take their seats. You are announced.

Toasts happen at this point and then tables are announced, to head to the buffet, starting with your table, then your families, then the rest of the guests, by table number.

First, a note to Jessica...you ARE having cocktail hour! yousaid your guests would go to the hall, get drinks, eat fruit and cheese and mingle---that's a cocktail hour!!

Pumpkin....I don't get it.. why in the world would a venue serve dinner to the guests before you are there?? and, like MB asked....when do YOU eat? and your wedding party? this is very odd!

You could do the toasts before the cake cutting. Even if you do them directly after, no one is going to get up to get cake when they see you guys still up there ready to toast.

I would do the grand entrance, then the first dance, then eat...that way guests will feel the dance floor has "offically" opened up and they can dance while you eat

I don't understand, how do your guests get to eat before you walk in the room? Nothing should happen until you and the bridal party are introduced. Like bluedaisy said the dance floor is technically not open until you do your first dance. And when do you eat? Do your guests sit and watch you eat after they have already eaten their food that could be kinda awkward.

Definitely talk to the venue and see if they can serve like a fruit plate or cheese and crackers or something while you take pictures. You need to take care of urself and your bridal party what about your parents and other people who will be taking pictures with you when do they eat? As far as toasts go they usually happen right after the cake is cut once it is served while people are enjoying their cake or dessert they will be seated so you can easily get their attention.

I went to a wedding where they did the toasts after the cake cutting. It seemed normal to me.

Toasts are almost always before the dinner begins. I would still like to know why dinner is served before the bride and groom are present???

This is what it says on the venue's website:

Q. Since my fiancé and I will likely be taking pictures when guests go to the reception area, is there someone to keep guests entertained.

A. Typically we open the buffet and, if you have a video, we’ll play the video upon the arrival of the guests. If you have a DJ they would also work to keep your guests happy. If no DJ we would start the reception music, also. The buffet line is open before the bride and groom arrive so that your guests will be ready to pay attention later.

I do think it's strange, but I'm okay with people eating before us if it means people won't leave because they're bored during the cocktail hour. And we will have a slideshow for people to watch. And my assistant will get us each a plate so that when we're ready to sit down we will have dinner available.

Id be happy to share some ideas and suggestions with you. Email me if you would like to chat .... andrew [at] tsgweddings.com

Best wishes & good luck!

Andy Sussman, Managing Director, TSG Weddings

Boston Wedding DJs & Lighting

http://www.tsgweddings.com

Guests do not leave during the cocktail hour.. they might get antsy if there aren't hors d'oeuvres or any drinks(even non-alcoholic), but they still won't leave..or if they do, they'll go to a bar for a drink, and then come back for dinner. "The buffet line is open before the bride and groom arrive so that your guests will be ready to pay attention later". what?? why would they pay more attention to whatever just because they rudely ate before the Bride and Groom? that is such an absurd statement. I don't mean to stress you out, but this is so odd. I know not all receptions should be the same, but this makes no sense at all. I think your guests are going to wonder if you skipped out on them.

Guests expect they will have to wait an hour or so during cocktail hour for you to do pics. Do they love it? no. Do they expect and understand it? yes. Now...if you plan on dragging those pics out over an hour or so...then you may have problems. but keep it shorter and you will be fine-guests wont be leaving.

The video during cocktail hour is a great idea. Honestly, I think your guests should wait for you to serve dinner. I'm truly surprised any wedding venue would offer this as a first suggestion. I could easily see them saying, if someone is truly concerned and wants the guests to start eating, then of course that is an option. But, it seems weird that that is their first "go-to"

I looked at the website...beautiful venue...But...after reading the FAQs I wasn't surprised that they said what they said. So, just tell them "no thanks"....we'll all eat together. Ask if the guests can have some type of appetizers and beverages.

With all due respect, Beverly E., I think you're being a little harsh. As I stated above, I don't mind the guests eating before us. I was asking about the toasts. I love my venue and the owners are close, personal friends so please stop talking down about my venue.

Back to Pumpkin's original question: not knowing if you have a specific order of other spotlight moments, you COULD simply enter, do your first dance, have your DJ, MC (or whoever) invite everyone to be seated, then use that opportunity to do the toasts right away. At the conclusion, have the DJ or band announce that the dance floor is open and you can then kick back and enjoy your dinner.

The reality is, you could also do it ANY time you like, including before the cake cutting. It will work out fine, no matter what you decide. Best of luck and have fun.

Thank you, DJJerryB. That was a very helpful suggestion. I like the idea of having the Best Man, MOH and BM speeches right away. Maybe we could eat while they are giving the speeches that way people won't be trying to come up and talk to us while we eat (except for the speakers, of course). I think we will still give our speech right after or before the cake cutting. That seems like a nice time to thank everyone and a lot of people will probably leave right after that anyway (older folks wanting to get home).

FYI (and I know you didn't ask, so forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn) I've seen the couple take the opportunity to thank their guests right after the cake cutting and it works BEAUTIFULLY. You could also think about having a special dance with your husband immediately following and invite your guests to join you. Again, just my 2 cents.