To wed or not to wed

That's totally up to you, but I can't imagine getting married without my mom. Given that you have a pre-existing it would make me nervous to have a wedding right now especially in a foreign country.

As an airline employee, flying right now is probably the safest it’s ever been in terms of cleanliness. We resumed traveling about a month ago, while we are very limited as to where we go, and maintain social distancing we feel safe to travel.
If you are immunocompromised I’d probably think hard about traveling to a foreign country that is not as conscious about cleanliness

In all honesty if I had an auto-immune disorder I'd seriously think twice about traveling to another country. You said you understand some guests won't feel comfortable traveling yet also say your don't understand your mother's concerns. You have to know that deciding to get married in another country during a pandemic will mean some people very special to you won't feel comfortable going. Is it worth the risk to anyone's health? Is it worth potentially getting married without your mother there?

View Quoted Comment Ive thought more than twice about traveling, I’ve also talked to my doctor and we agree that this can be safely done. I’m aware that moving forward with my wedding won’t be without sacrificing a few guests. However my mother isn’t just any guest and she hasn’t been practicing too much caution during this pandemic. She’s crossed state lines and have been in the company of others who have done the same, repeatedly. That’s why I said it’s hard to understand her not going. To answer your question, YES MY WEDDING IS WORTH IT. We’ve been engaged for almost four years and postponed our wedding twice. I deserve this day and I can’t keep putting my future off. I agree that this is a crazy time but due to the severity of it airports and tourist facilities are not only empty but extremely clean.

Heartbreaking! We had to cancel our island wedding. I couldn’t imagine my mother not attending. We had 50 guests booked, about 20 contacted us saying they did not feel comfortable traveling. And a few others said (after we cancelled) they were glad we cancelled, they just did not want to say anything.
Best wishes!

I’m someone who is immunocomprised, and lives with an autoimmune disorder. Just saying I understand the added layer related to this decision. I also understand the frustration with family members not social distancing or taking precautions. With that said, I’d be incredibly disappointed and sad if my mom decided not to attend. I’d think about the non-negotiables for yourself. Also, when you think back about your wedding, will you have any regrets if your mother isn’t there. It’s a huge decision. Sending positive vibes💛

Unfortunately I had similar problems. I had family cancel on my vegas wedding (that is scheduled to happen September 1st) in May/June. I was kind of bothered considering that after they canceled they caught COVID. I know I sound selfish and ignorant, but the other part of me is about 95% (made up number) has made doing anything safer. Requiring masks, frequent cleaning, limited amount of people and temp checks. If anything I thought right now would be a better time to do anything. If you can’t imagine your mom being there I think it might be best to reschedule, but before you do explain everything to her as far as changes go.

I would highly reconsider a destination wedding this fall.

I'd get married locally.


There's a big difference between crossing state lines and an international border. On top of that, you're immunocompromised, and your mother can't make it. I'd save Mexico for a honeymoon or a vow renewal

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much for your response. I feel fairly similar to you. I too believe that right now is one of the safest times to travel because of all the precautions businesses are taking. Tourist areas are basically empty and the prices are an added bonus. I’ve never imagined my day without my mother nor could I have pictured being married during a pandemic. However, this is where we are right now. I’d love to share all the research I’ve done with her but I can no longer bear the back and forth. What if I’m unable to change her mind? I’ll be back on the bathroom floor sobbing that’s what. This really sucks but my fiancé always said we are all the family eachother needs.

View Quoted Comment I find it comical when someone says just change it to a local wedding. The date is in November and it’s currently August meaning most things are paid for already. How could someone “save Mexico” for anything with such an uncertain future? No one knows when things will get “better” and “normal” is a distant memory. I’m afraid there won’t be an ideal time in the near future and this day has been a long time coming. Over ten years too long actually

It seems like your mind is already made up to go ahead with the destination wedding. It’s unfortunate that your mom won’t be there, but her reasons are understandable. Traveling is a scary thought for a lot of people, and many states have strict travel quarantine guidelines upon return. We are still very much in a pandemic, so I would respect her decision even though it hurts.

The biggest thing I've learned during this is to let everyone make their own decisions. Everyone, including your mother and PP, owes you the full right as an adult to make your own decisions about your health. It seems like you have discussed this with your doctor and are not being rash. So I think if your mom is saying she isn't coming to try to get you to postpone, you need to express to her the following: (1) you are an adult, (2) you have thought through the risks with a doctor and concluded the analysis in favor of keeping the wedding, (3) she needs to respect your decision, and (4) you want her there.


If she is afraid for her own health, there isn't much you can do. You'll have to decide how much you want to go through with it if she won't come.

View Quoted Comment That is so sweet . What I learned the most from this pandemic is not everyone is truly there for you including family. They should be listening with an open heart considering it’s your one special day! I find my fiancé is the main one in my corner. Best wishes!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your response. I will attempt to explain it to her that way. However I won’t hold my breathe on her changing her mind. She didn’t even send her passport application in which really sucks

View Quoted Comment I'm sorry this is happening to you. I have family doing something similar to try to get me to be married on their hometown, where FH and I don't live, because they don't feel safe going to rest stops while driving. Covid makes people anxious and crazed. Keep your head up!

Honestly, my sister just traveled to Mexico because flights and hotels are super cheap. She said the airlines are safer than ever and Mexico is way ahead of America in how they sanitize EVERYTHING. I am also immunocompromised with a heart condition, but I would consider going to Mexico with how she described how safe it was. Best of luck!

View Quoted Comment Thanks so much for your response. Family is crazy and tried different things to gain control. However, this is my wedding and all decisions are made by my FH and myself solely.

View Quoted Comment I’ve been keeping an eye on how they’re handling COVID and I agree they’re doing better than America in lots of ways. I feel confident in my decision to move forward with the wedding

It's your wedding do what you feel comfortable doing. I will say if I was in your position and my mom wouldn't be able to make it I'd probably just postpone the whole wedding. And try and wait for everything to get better.