To Post or Not to Post?

Thank you all for your feedback! It sounds like overall that I could certainly a share few really exciting points along the way, but just to be very judicious about it and keep it focused on me and FH rather than the wedding details.

I think your initial instincts were right: don't share too much about your wedding planning - first of all, it's a personal thing between you, your FH, and anyone you choose to involve, but that probably shouldn't include the whole world. Also, every random social media friend is not entitled to an invite, but when people are non-stop posting about wedding plans, it ends up feeling to the readers like they're sitting in a group with you talking about a fabulous party they're not invited to - which can border on hurtful, not to mention it could result in people trying to guilt-trip you into an invitation (am I the only one whose had random high school acquaintances Facebook messaging me ever since I announced?).

Furthermore, at least some of your wedding planning activities usually involve some other people, and you never know who will get offended that they weren't included, when you didn't even think about it. Maybe you want to just take your mom and MOH shopping for your dress, but you could inadvertently be ticking off your bridesmaids or FMIL by posting about how awesome it was. It's easier to act like this stuff was low key, like you didn't plan it in advance and specifically leave some people out, if you keep it on the DL.

Lastly, you want people to be surprised by your wedding details! Of course, never post pictures or details about your dress, centerpieces (even un-assembled), accessories, flowers, favors, etc., but you should also think about keeping less-obvious details to yourself, like your dress shop/designer, cake flavor, band or DJ, and signature cocktail.

You could also create a group within your contacts of those you did want to share with, and select that group when you do post, or choose using the "privacy settings" drop down menu which people you want to share with.

I shared whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and IDGAF what anyone thought about it. #sorrynotsorry

I'm kind of alone in this, but I actually share quite a bit to my Facebook. It's not like I have daily updates, or even weekly things that are wedding related, but I like to share in the progress as I make it. My social media is very closed and my only friends are relatives I like and friends I actually know and talk to, so when I get feedback it's not from strangers. Honestly I get very little feedback, and I usually post things there hoping to get some helpful advice from married friends I have a private group for my bridal party so I can plan things and share important details with them (they're all out of state, so venue information, hotels, restaurants, etc) But the progress I make on my dress and DIY projects I post there, or polling questions for things like song suggestions. Things like needing Photoshop help with invites and such are all things I ask privately, to friends I'm inviting and who actually know how to help me.

I guess it boils down to knowing your crowd. If they're chill and aren't the type to flood you with input overload or get upset about things, go for it.

I've been keeping it really low key on social media basically "we're engaged" and thats it. Have also been trying to not share too much with others. One reason is because I want some surprise for guests and two I don't want to feel like all I talk about is the wedding. That being said now that we have the wedding party figured out and asked I can call one of my "fancy ladies" (not calling them bridesmaids) and we sqwee over stuff.

I don't, but I am generally not inclined to share much of the minutiae of my everyday life. I changed my relationship status a few months after got engaged and that's it. Honestly, my family and friends IRL (with the exception of my MOH) don't seem to want to know much about our plans except where and when to show up, and they know that already.

I do photo countdowns (not overly obnoxious i think ive done 2) and when i got my dress. I posted one at a bridal shower with my friend and one with my FH. No one has asked us anything. I don't post much about it or vent. However as long as too much personal detail to the day isn't displayed your fine. Now i think people begin to ask questions when its on post related to invitations. I also don't feel inclined to invite anyone else because they can see my post.

View Quoted Comment I just choked 💀

I only post about nonessential wedding stuff. So my fiancé posted when we registered at crate and barrel because they had a photobooth vendor there that made a gif out of our photos. But no venue or other information has been put out there. Fair warning - I have a family friend who’s not invited and who I haven’t talked to in years who has made multiple comments on these random posts about the “countdown to my wedding” which has been really uncomfortable. My fiancé and I both decided to block him from seeing our posts now, which made me feel bad. But it put me in a weird position, because I never expected someone that I don’t talk to ever to assume he was invited to my wedding just because our moms were neighbors back when I was in high school....

Don’t post much. But I like seeing them. Maybe because I’m getting married. But I really hate kid update post. Every 3 days. Ugh. I rather read about where someone is getting married. I want to see if it’s anywhere I’ve heard about. Etc.

I don't post as much on social media as I did because my energy is going elsewhere. We posted our engagement but nothing about the wedding. I don't want to hurt the feelings of those people who aren't invited.

I made a fb friends list for those who are invited to the wedding, just for posting wedding things such as when we booked a videographer, to post the wedding website for guests, etc. it helps bc the only people who view whose intimate wedding posts are people who are invited to the wedding. I also made a fb message group for the bridal shower and plan on doing so for the bachelorette party...mostly to say when I mail out invitations, if anyone has questions, etc. I find that’s been the best way to post about the wedding. I have posted here and there for the rest of social media about countdowns, such as our 6 month countdown, when we got engaged...things like that. I would like to think that I keep all posts to a minimum though lol

I updated my status when I was engaged and put up some engagement photos and shower photos, but that's all. A lot of my Facebook friends aren't invited to my wedding (I'm similar to you, I've traveled a lot and have friends from everywhere), so I didn't want anyone to get the idea that they are invited or give people a lot of details to a party they aren't invited to. I wouldn't post a lot of the planning details, but that's just me. I have group texts with my sisters and close friends so when I want to share cake pictures or hairstyles I do it with the more intimate group.

We updated our status to engaged and posted some pictures from that day. Other than that we have limited our posting about the wedding. We have had a lot of drama with the guest list of our wedding and if we were posting about it, it would only add fuel to the problems, it would do nothing to help the problems.

I just changed my profile picture of FB to him proposing and changed in a relationship to engaged. That was in Oct. since then I've posted nothing about the wedding. I've been taking tons of pictures of all the things I've been up to for the wedding, and plan to make an album once the wedding is over. Until then I don't want to make anyone not invited uncomfortable. Once it's over...I could care less.

I would never share on social media. There are too many horror stories about friends getting upset because you didn't tell them before you posted about "the date of the wedding", "getting engaged", "not being in the BP", "not asking them if they could make it on X date", etc. My FH does a lot of YouTube videos and the other day I heard him recording and said to him, hey, I'm not your GF anymore. I was really just teasing him but he had called me his GF in the video and he keeps getting my case because I keep calling him my BF instead of my finance. He said he didn't want to just share it with everyone.

I know YouTube is a different than having it on FaceBook but I would still be cautious. You just never know how other people interpret their level of friendship with you. Someone you think of as just a causal friend might think that you are the best friend ever and would be really hurt that you aren't inviting them to your wedding.

I post a wedding day countdown from time to time. I think maybe 3 total and we've been engaged for a year. Other than that, I don't post too much about the wedding. I don't do it because of concern for people who aren't invited though. Like if you aren't invited, we're probably not that close anyway lol. I simply don't post much about it because I don't feel inclined to.

I posted that we got engaged. Then after the wedding I posted that we got married.

I also am a traveler and have many friends all over the world so social media is my way of staying up to date with them. that being said, ive posted about our engagement and i made a post joking about how i wish my FH could take our wedding pictures because hes a bomb photographer. but aside from that ive been pretty quiet and withdrawn from social media. i did post 2 of our engagement photos because i know friends and family want to see them but my captions we more about love and relationships than wedding planning. i probably wont share much as its a pretty private wedding and im just not feeling like sharing there ya know? that being said this website (WeddingWire) is where im posting and talking to people and getting my ideas and my talks out here. perfect place for it.