To lose the deposit or not

I think your gut is already telling you what you want. $1k is a lot of money to lost BUT if you really want a smaller reception (and by having a big one looks like that would put you in financial straits) then I say you're better off losing the deposit. I think I would do the same faced with that choice.

Good luck!

Will your venue let you "sell" your date? I know some places will allow you to try and find someone else to take over your date, they will even tell prospective people that you have the date reserved and are willing to give it up. Normally one of the incentives for other people to take over your date is that they will only have to pay for part of the deposit. Like they would pay you $5-8 hundred. That way you don't loose all the money, you save another bride a little bit of cash, and the venue still gets someone in the allotted time.

We literally just went through this. FI was laid off and we put down ALL of our deposits. Talk to your vendors and explain the financial situation. Our vendors all agreed to honor our deposits for a later, available (that's key) date. So if everything works out with us (he's totally taken the initiative to actually save us which makes my heart swell with love) we can still have our wedding as planned.

Just read that you were re-thinking the whole thing and thinking small and intimate (we thought this too after he was laid off). Go with your gut. Losing $1,000 is nothing compared to going through with everything and being unhappy.

We put down a deposit on a Vineyard and after a few too many shananigans that they tried to pull, we backed out. They told me they would refund our deposit if they were able to re-book our date. It took over 6 months, but we just got our $500 back. Honesty is going to work in your favor with this situation. And in the end, if you end up losing the $1000, you will probably will have saved more than that by moving your venue.

The sooner you start the conversations the better chances you have of recieving your deposit or a portion of it back.

it sounds like by loosing the $1000, you are really saving money in the long run, and thats what you should be focused on!

I'd say if its not what you want and you can find some where else for the wedding that you would be more happy with and save money do it!

It's far enough away, speak with the venue before you forfit the money. They might have someone else interested. If not than see if they will wait and see if someone wants it cause the whole reason they make you deposit is incase someone else wants it you have it and then you bail. But if someone else comes and wants it than you should be able to get that back. If they wont give you that option then tell them you will continue on with the planning. Don't and then just cancel the day the next payment is due. No point in the getting paid twice.

Thank you so much for all this advice! You guys are amazing!

I find it a little hard to believe that this venue can't resell that date.

Did you sign a contract already? If you did read it, and see if the entire deposit is nonrefundable or not. See if you can at least get part of it back. Asking can't hurt. If your venue has minimums that must be met and you guys know you won't be able to afford to meet those minimums, than I would just take the loss. Losing a grand is a big loss, but spending more money that you know you can't afford to spend just because you already put down 1k is a worse loss in the long run. You won't be broke only up until the wedding, it will affect you guys for a while after you get married too.

Thanks for the advice everyone! I did call and they did say that the money is non-refundable. So we decided that we will just let go of the 1,000 dollars. We decided it would be better to only be out that, than be broke for the next year or too. So our new plan is to pay off our credit cards, and then decide what we can save from the time we pay them off till our new date and make a wedding based on that budget.