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Jane
Devoted October 2017

To include registry cards with invites or not?

Jane, on July 25, 2017 at 8:31 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 33
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Every wedding I have ever gone to or been invited to included registry cards with the invitations. But I've read on here that that's not okay to do, which is total news to me. Why is that the case if it's true? My registry is on the website as well and I put the website on the invitation, but what about older guests who don't use the computer? What is everyone else doing?

33 Comments

Latest activity by Shesaysyes, on March 2, 2020 at 9:59 PM
  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
    • Flag

    I have heard that this is common practice in the UK, but it is definitely not acceptable in the US and Canada. Just because someone else does it, doesn't make it right (didn't your mother tell you that, like all mothers?)

    The reason it is unacceptable is that it tells your guests you want gifts from them. It is ok to include registry information with a shower invitation because showers are all about gifts and someone else is hosting. You are not hosting a gift giving occasion with yourself as the guest of honor.

    Many older guests actually do use a computer They keep in touch with their children and grandchildren for one thing.

    Other than that, you rely on word of mouth, like generations before you.

    • Reply
  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Niccole ·
    • Flag

    No, not traditionally. However, I honestly think you can do whatever you want. I think it's easier to just include it because people do want to know and I also have received several invites with it included. I personally don't think it screams buy me a gift, but apparently that's just me. I personally don't want/have the time to search around for that info. I plan to include it with my invites. Traditions change and everyone has their own. Just make it smaller on the extra details card, and include a phrase that indicates gifts are optional or that it's just an FYI.

    • Reply
  • Christina
    Super June 2018
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    Hmm..I'm only familiar with putting your registry info with bridal shower invites. I'm not familiar with them being in the wedding invitations.

    • Reply
  • Jane
    Devoted October 2017
    Jane ·
    • Flag

    So I am Russian and that's what all of those weddings did and the few American weddings that I went to. But I am marrying an American and I don't want to screw up this etiquette if that's really how it is.

    • Reply
  • Kaitlynd
    Expert September 2017
    Kaitlynd ·
    • Flag

    When we went to our printing company in town and looked through real invites from past couples, literally every "additional info" card had the bride and groom registry info. I wasn't going to include it because looking at forums on here it's considered rude but since all of them had, I did as well.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master October 2016
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    NO! This is a major etiquette faux pas. You can include a Details card in the invitation packet with your wedding website listed on it but not the registry itself!

    On your website is where you include pertinent wedding info: where, when, hotel info, even a ' how you met' story and then you can list where you are registered. You can also spread the info by word of mouth.

    Those other weddings you went to were wrong and should have never included the registry info in the invitations.

    Note: a Bridal Shower invites is the only invitation that can include registry info but that's because a bridal shower is thrown in your honor to be 'showered with gifts'.

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master October 2016
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    @Niccole, it has NEVER been a tradition to include registry info on a wedding invitation, not now, not ever. Because you're the host of the wedding you don't ever ask for gifts for yourself on an invitation.

    Jeebus. You're on the freaking internet--the proper etiquette info is out there at your fingertips, grasp it! Don't rely on what you 'think etiquette is just because it's easier'.

    • Reply
  • JerseyGirl
    Master May 2017
    JerseyGirl ·
    • Flag

    Please don't include a registry card with your invite. Those are for shower invites. As @Kari said, you are hosting the wedding/reception and as a host you don't ask for gifts. People will ask/look on your website/give money. I have never been invited to a wedding where there was a registry card included with the invite.

    • Reply
  • S. Suarez
    Super March 2018
    S. Suarez ·
    • Flag

    So, this may be a very stupid question, but could you include it with the STD? It'd be for those guests that don't live in the same state/country & can't make the shower.

    ETA: never mind, just saw your wedding date & read other comments....

    • Reply
  • Kari
    Master October 2016
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    Ok, I will slightly amend my earlier post for a possible explanation: it MIGHT have been somewhat acceptable to include or print registry information on the invitation back in the 50's, 60's &. 70's when parents completely paid and hosted the wedding for their daughter (usually) and as host were asking for gifts for their betrothed daughter.

    That's the only explanation I can fathom that the registry info was on the invitations at the printing company you looked at, @Kaitlynd. If that's the case that printing company has not been correctly updating all the info on their invitations (since the 80's & 90's) with proper wedding etiquette.

    Because the majority of couples pay for/host their weddings they should not be blatantly requesting gifts for themselves by printing or including registry info on the invitations. As a truly outdated 'parents host the wedding' custom which doesn't apply now--you shouldn't want it nor accept it. Please know this is a major side-eye offense that your guests will judge you for.

    • Reply
  • N
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Niccole ·
    • Flag

    .

    • Reply
  • JerseyGirl
    Master May 2017
    JerseyGirl ·
    • Flag

    @niccole- you cannot name call it's against community guidelines- flagged. You may not agree with Kari but nothing she said was offensive to you. She made several valid points after you gave out incorrect information.

    Info in the posts wasn't negative we all simply stated that it's against etiquette to include it in invites.

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    Definitely not. An invitation should not be a request for a gift.

    • Reply
  • augustlawbride
    Expert August 2017
    augustlawbride ·
    • Flag

    Nope, website and word of mouth.

    Make sure your mother, FMIL, MoH, and most female family members know where your registered. I found the non-tech savy (think little old ladies from church) have tended to ask my mother, Aunt, or FMIL where we are registered.

    • Reply
  • Beutivant
    Master May 2016
    Beutivant ·
    • Flag

    No one is trying to make OP feel bad for asking the question. People just want to make it clear how rude it is to include the registry on the invite. Listen to us, OP. Just don't do it.

    • Reply
  • Mrs Richmond
    Master June 2017
    Mrs Richmond ·
    • Flag

    The only invitation you should put your registry info on is your shower invitation.

    A wedding invitation is not a gift request. If someone wants to get you a registry gift, they will either ask you or a family member where you are registered. You don't need to put that information in every single available outlet you can find - it makes you look gift grabby, even if that's not your intention.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    No, it's not acceptable and putting a phrase for gift cards makes it even worse.

    It's never been okay. And the fact that some people do it doesn't make it okay.

    That's not a matter of tradition. It's a matter of rudeness.

    • Reply
  • MrsVtoBe
    Devoted January 2018
    MrsVtoBe ·
    • Flag

    I believe it should only be included on your website and in shower invites, not with the invitation.

    • Reply
  • Tabatha
    Super August 2017
    Tabatha ·
    • Flag

    I put it with my wedding invites. People are over dramatic lol

    It's not that big of a deal.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Yeah Tabatha. It is a big deal. You don't think so because you did it, but it's blatantly a gift grab on a piece of stationery that is supposed to be an invitation to a celebration.

    And none of your guests will tell you to your face because they're polite. But I can tell you they're thinking it.

    • Reply

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