To go without the rehearsal dinner?

Skipped it. No regrets. We had a micro-wedding (15 guests), no wedding party but as long as you have a DOC, that person can line people up before the ceremony. Not sure a rehearsal is necessary.

If you are not having a rehearsal, there is no need to have a rehearsal dinner

The rehearsal dinner is traditionally for your wedding party, as a thank you for of all their time and contributions. There is absolutely no requirement to invite relatives (other than parents). If you aren’t having a rehearsal, and don’t have a wedding party, then there is no need for a rehearsal dinner.

My brother and his fiancee had the rehearsal dinner along with the rehearsal and it was very nice, actually, all the decorations and good music, her parents had made a touching smartshow 3d presentation about the future newlyweds, etc, but later my brother said he would rather skip it as it was like a demo-version of the wedding itself, so... I'd skip, too. Your wedding = your decision.

I wasn’t going to do one until I realized it probably would be a nice idea to but if you aren’t having a rehearsal then it’s ok to skip

If your rehearsal is close to or during a mealtime, and your WP must go substantially out of their way in time and distance to attend the rehearsal, then you need to give them a meal. Most of the time, only the couple, officiant, and someone taking care of the music (recorded or live) are essential for a rehearsal, and with a local venue or church, a rehearsal with just these people and anyone nearby who can easily attend may be scheduled on any weekday morning or afternoon or evening when the place is not in use, occasionally over the weekend, Usually in the last 2 weeks. If only local people spend little travel time not at meal time, then any RD becomes entirely a social thing, no obligation. Often people meet when the rehearsal is needed, and the RD on a nearby weekend, or on the night before the wedding when everyone has gathered, for a welcome / RD meal. But if not needed at a mealtime because you took people out of their way, and at meal time, the thanking of the wedding party is usually done in one of 3 ways: the RD, formal or casual, a thank you occasion with just the bride and groom and the Wedding Party and their SO, or as a single ( not couples) lunch, dinner, or cocktails of just the bride and her BM and MOH, and separately with the Groom and his GM and BM. This can happen whenever convenient, usually in the last 2 weeks or in the time shortly after the wedding. Or, Bride or Groom each finds some private time to thank the attendants individually, and give then a small gift. ... All of these possible settings and ways to thank the Wedding Party have been commonly done for generations, and are equally fine to do. On WW people usually talk of the mostly out of town wedding party or distant wedding location, where people mostly gather the day before, and thus are both owed a meal, and many people may be meeting for the first time. So an RD that is for everyone, the day or night before, whether or not there is a rehearsal , is done.
🙂 If you do not want one, either have no rehearsal that involves all out of town people, just those who can easily come, and do not schedule it at meal time. Fill in those who miss the rehearsal by wedding day, easily done. And choose one of the other ways to thank your WP, as a couples affair with SO ( and parents of any young child), with B and G only and all the guys and gals but all singles, or all SO with them, or just bride's side, and separately groom's side. No RD is required. I have been in many, many weddings, and about half or the time there is no rehearsal at all, but only if most are from out of town will they have an RD anyways. And where there is a rehearsal of the whole WP, at least half do RD. The others either do something together if a very small WP, or bride does something, groom does something else, at convenient times, individually or as a small group. Don't get pushed into something you do not want. In many families, if relatives are coming from out of town, MOG or MOB who want an RD will happily redirect their energy and have traveling relatives or friends to their home or out to dinner or drinks, without the couple. A welcome affair.

That depends if you're having a rehearsal or not! If you are having a rehearsal, then yes, you should feed the wedding party. Rehearsal dinners take many shapes and forms, so if the issue is budget (as you indicated), then you could do a very casual rehearsal dinner with pizza and beer at somebody's home.

We aren't doing the traditional rehearsal dinner. We are doing a rehearsal and then everyone is going out at their own expense and none of them have a problem with it!

We were planning on having a rehearsal and dinner following, but with all the changes we've had to make and quite a few people not being able to come into town the night before, we're probably going to skip it.

We are having a rehearsal dinner, but I think even before COVID, we were planning on just going to a restaurant nearby. No booking a whole venue or catering or slide shows or anything, just a way to feed the people who will be present for the rehearsal. Now we are just going to order take out from a restaurant and eat it at FILs' home after the rehearsal at the church.

We're doing a rehearsal followed by the rehearsal dinner at a nearby restaurant. It's only going to be dinner/drinks/hanging out though - no slideshow or speeches or anything fancy. If you're planning to do a rehearsal, you should probably do a rehearsal dinner (even something as simple as pizza in someone's backyard would work). Otherwise, if not doing a rehearsal, totally fine to skip the rehearsal dinner.

So because our rehearsal is really early like 11 am we don't want to do a "dinner". We were thinking about doing a lunch/brunch situation but I have other things to get done so I think we are skipping it! Still on the fence about it. This is your wedding and if you don't want to have one you don't have to. Is it nice to give people a meal that are part of your BP yes, is it necessary not really.

If you are having a rehearsal, some kind of refreshments need to be served. Many dinners are simple pizza and soda which is the least expensive option.
The only way to not serve food if you truly can't afford a couple pizzas is to skip the rehearsal. Unless it's a complicated entrance/exit, some people are ok with skipping it and it works out fine.

None of my family other than my parents and siblings have met my FH' and his family and vice versa for his side so I have been planning on a rehearsal dinner this whole time. Our venue told us later that they don't allow actual dinners at the rehearsals, only an hour to walk through the ceremony so then we planned on going to a restaurant afterwards. Now apparently my FH told me for the first time that he doesn't want one or think its necessary despite our families not knowing each other, and there is drama now about going out as a big group during the pandemic even with a private room. IDEK what to do now.

View Quoted Comment Can you gather at your home and have an inexpensive dinner delivered?

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We live in a tiny apartment and my in-laws house can really only have 20 or less people comfortably. We are expecting at least 50 people to attend the rehearsal dinner due to my huge family. I had an idea of renting out the church gym nearby that can fit everyone or even the hotel ball room where my parents are staying, but no one liked those ideas, even if it was just dessert or something. Not to mention my wedding is two days after Thanksgiving so apparently no one wants to eat?? I guess people are just too hard to please.

View Quoted Comment Just host those involved in the ceremony along with spouses.


Thanksgiving dinner should have no bearing on your event and that's an excuse to bully you. Decide with your fiance how to best manage the event. If someone doesn't like your plan, they don't have to attend.

I had a friend who did a potluck rehearsal dinner at their parents house. It's just an opportunity to spend more time with the people in the wedding party who you truly care about. On the big day you will have to spread out your time more, and won't be able to have intimate conversations with those people.

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They wouldn't tell you even if they did, but they shouldn't be expected to pay for their own rehearsal dinner.

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It's actually a thank you for the people who are taking the time and effort to rehearse before the wedding; people should not be asked to provide food for their own thank you.