To Eat Or Not To Eat

I'm not even sure what my reaction would be if someone invited me to their wedding and then said "Oh and the cost of dinner is $100 per person." Other than to immediately decline. It'd be like inviting everyone to a housewarming party at your place and charging cover at the door.

There have been a slew of articles coming out lately about brides who have charged their guests for the meal, or demanded a certain amount of money spent on the gifts (one even making a google doc spreadsheet where you were supposed to put your name on the gift you were going to buy and to 'do it early if you don't want to be stuck getting me the Gucci purse!'). All of these things appall me.

No one is ever forced to have a big wedding they can't afford. A courthouse ceremony is always an option, and if a party is desired, be extremely casual with a back yard (or local park) hang out where everyone brings something to share. I mean, hell, I put my foot down against having a cash bar - I feel that everyone is coming to celebrate with us, will most likely bring a gift or money (as is tradition in our circle) and take time out of their busy lives to spend the evening with us - some of whom are even traveling and will have to get a hotel for the evening. Paying for dinner is the least we can do.

Setting up a potluck event is the same as asking people to pay for the food. Because you're still asking people to pay for food. In addition, food safety issues and liability are a concern, and many venues won't allow self-catering for that reason.

I wouldn't come. So I'm expected to bring a gift and buy my own dinner? I will save the money and stay home.

💯 absolutely wrong.

If you want to cut every cost imaginable, sure.


If you want to host a wedding and have guests, no.

If you are unwilling to cover costs for your guests’ food and beverages, go elope without guests. A full meal is never required and many social circles don’t serve full meals, they will have cake and coffee at minimum that guests do not pay for.


There are countless areas to cut costs if budget is truly a concern: eliminate favors and welcome bags, serve pizza delivery as rehearsal dinner, have a small bridal party, don’t cover bridal party expenses, skip bridesmaid proposal boxes, don’t gift bridesmaid robes/pjs, have an inexpensive local bachelorette party after the rehearsal dinner, grocery store flowers, invitations from Costco.com or annsbridalbargains.com, save the dates via phone call instead of magnets, skip the champagne no one drinks, don’t purchase a reception dress, serve one dessert option without fake displays, etc. Go with a blank slate venue that allows outside catering which is much cheaper than an all inclusive venue. Another option for dinner, if you plan to cover it for guests, is to have a local favorite restaurant provide drop off catering.