To Eat Or Not To Eat

Ummm that would be considered very rude and tacky to me

Absolutely not. Guests are just that, guests. They should not have to open their wallets for an event that the couple chooses to host. It's not a restaurant, it's meant to thank your friends and family for witnessing your marriage.

That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard

Super Rude. If you can't afford a meal for guests, have a "cake and punch" reception at a non meal time. The reception is to thank your guests ("receive") for coming out and attending your ceremony. You would be asking them to pay for their own thank you. Host the wedding you can afford.

I think that's rude. i feel like i'd rather just not have a reception and just do the ceremony only with drinks and cake after

Insanely rude and tacky. Would NEVER consider this.

Did she save money by having the guests pay or because nobody showed up because she did that?

View Quoted Comment In the article it said she asked the guests beforehand to pay and that they were understandable. I’d rather make the food to save money. If it worked for them that’s cool. It just seems weird to me.

Wow. WOW. Absolutely not, never would I consider doing this.

As the other posters have said, feeding them is a show of appreciation for their support, and the very least that should be offered is a cake and punch type reception at a non-meal time.

To ask them to pay for their meals is beyond rude and tacky.

I think it’s bad when there’s a cash bar lol

In my circles / area / community it is a huge no-no to ask guests to pay for anything at a wedding.

In my personal opinion, if you can't afford to feed your guests, you don't have guests - you elope or do something that you can comfortably afford.

Your wedding guests are your guests. They shouldn't need to pay for anything at your wedding. You can't ask guests to subsidize the costs of your wedding.

That strikes me as extremely rude and if I was invited to a wedding and then told I had to pay for my dinner I would not go.

Yes! I don’t think that is appropriate unless the bride and groom are struggling economically and that was the only option. But I have never heard of that before and if money is an issue you could have a cake and champagne reception. It can be brief but classy. . But honestly I have been to some weddings where the food was so bad I left and got In and Out. But no I would not recommend this.

I feel like a very reasonable alternative is a potluck wedding. Those are often done to help shift costs off the hosts, and you get to enjoy some homecooked food. But it's seen as a more fun event, without literally asking your guests to pay for it. Lol Definitely rude to ask them to pay.

The wedding couple is asking for their loved ones to treat them like a charity. Nothing good comes from devaluing yourself or your future life partner.


There were a couple brides before that wanted their guests to pay the wedding restaurant bill. One family turned it into a destination family reunion and invited whomever as there was no host. The other bride cut out most everyone due to fighting. They are no longer vocal on this board.

It's extremely rude and we would rather postpone our wedding in order to put more money aside for it or we would look for areas where we could save money on like flowers,décor, trimming down the guest list, nixing or limiting the open bar...
However: we were invited, in early 2020 ,to a wedding where the couole let us know ahead of time 'we had' to pay for the meal, drinks, cake and share the cost of the DJ (in their book, the DJ was hired "for us" since the bride isn't into dancing and neither is the groom).
We RSVPed NO but some people we know attended, said most invited guests came because they knew the couple couldn't afford these... nor could they get some financial help from their parents... but left early, after getting a slice of cake ( they got it right after being done with the meal and before the dancing portion to express how they felt).

What was her reasons besides of saving money by asking that of her guest to say rude,but also did she give a note to guest that they will have to pay before they accepted or declined her invitationI couldn't do that of the weddings that I have been to no that I know if did that.

View Quoted Comment Not In and Out lol. That’s why I’m on the fence of having a caterer vs having my family cook. At least I’ll know the food is good.

I would not attend a wedding if I knew I had to pay for my own meal honestly. That may sound harsh, but unless its a close family member or friend where we're all chipping in potluck style or something for a small celebration I would feel like it was tacky. I'm even a little miffed when I go to a wedding with a cash bar lol.