To change the wedding date or not?

This is definitely something you and your fiancé have to discuss and decide together. I wouldn’t worry about how many times you’ve changed the date already, and focus more on whether or not you can have the day you imagined if you keep your date. What will you regret more? Changing the date again, or getting married without your siblings present? How does your fiancé feel about the situation? There’s not a right or wrong answer, you k have to do what’s best for the two of you. Good luck!

Don't change because it's a nightmare. You've been through this twice before and know the logistical hell


Most service members knows that this is one of the cost of his military service. He will miss Christmases, birthdays and lots of major life events. Service members do this for their country voluntary and it is a nobel sacrifice. Thank you for his service. I am an army vet and I missed family events being overseas. It sucked but I didn't want people putting their life on hold for me.
Your sister's unplanned pregnancy is okay at a wedding. If she chooses not to come, okay. If she goes into labor and misses the wedding, okay. If she is there 8 months pregnant in the photos, okay. But it's not a reason to reschedule. Just make sure she's comfy and give her a comfy chair in ac. Your feet tend to hurt if you have to stand a lot while pregnant. Also movement sucks. It's more of a undignified waddle at the later stages. So... I highly don't recommend standing, heavy lifting or bending jobs for sister unless she volunteers... It's best to have her set what she wants to do and where she wants to go. She is an adult.
Most venues are pretty booked because covid and rebooking everything is almost like replanning every vendor. It's a lot.
I think the best move is accept the wedding in it's current state unless the venue burns down.

View Quoted Comment After I told my fiancé he got mad and said that we already decided after we sent out our save the dates we would not change the date again no matter what happened. It is very important for me to have my siblings at my wedding. It is important for my fiancé that we don’t change the date again.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response. With my sister the only problem is she lives in Illinois and I live in Nevada. So she won’t fly pregnant or with a newborn, nor would I want her to.

View Quoted Comment Would having your brother (Or both siblings if your sister can’t make it either) attend via live stream be an acceptable compromise? I understand you wanting your siblings there, but I also understand your fiancé being upset. If you two agreed you wouldn’t change the date again no matter what, I think it’s important to stick to your word.

View Quoted Comment Congratulations on your soon to be niece, nephew or Nibling. It will be okay. Can we Skype / Zoom meeting / live stream the wedding to family that can't come?


I am not heartless here. Future spouse sounds like he doesn't want to change. I want to help you find a compromise where everyone is happy and you still have a wedding day. It's okay. I had 2 family member at mine (no parents, no grandparents, no aunts and uncles etc just my sister and my kid)
And it worked and my husband and I are married. We did a lot of compromising and fighting about dates and guest list and thing that seem stupid now. We have a loving relationship but we don't agree all the time and work it out.

View Quoted Comment Having the wedding over live stream is an idea. It just won’t be the same without having them at the wedding in person.

View Quoted Comment Video chatting is definitely an idea. It will not be the same without them at the wedding. Which makes me sad thinking about them not being their. Since my fiancé will have his siblings at the wedding and I won’t have mine there.

View Quoted Comment Yea,




I get it. I had to Skype my grandma's funeral and it sucked. I was in Korea and couldn't get a plane in time. So we skyped it. The lack of hugs bugged me the most and the fact I didn't get the food. But I didn't feel like I missed it and everyone understood me not being able to teleport to the other side of the world.


Now, Something to consider is door dash a nice meal to your sister with a wedding cupcake. And have her Skype /video streaming option and she will at least still see it / be there in a way. The door dash with pregnancy medical diet* friendly foods

*gd or preeclampsia or anything may throw another monkey wrench in the plan and that is the intent behind that wording.

View Quoted Comment I understand, It’s definitely a crappy situation to be in. I think you should both sit down and explain how you feel. I’m sure when you said no matter what you weren’t even imagining that neither of your siblings would be able to come. And I’m sure after rescheduling four times he’s probably frustrated. Being able to reach a decision you are both okay with is important, and you won’t be able to reach a compromise if you both get emotional and dig in.

Personally, I wouldn’t change the date a 4th time. As you’ve experienced with the previous 3 date changes... nothing is perfect. So, trying to wait for everything to line up just right on a 4th date isn’t guaranteed. For the sake of yourselves and your guests, there comes a point when you just have to move forward with your wedding plans.... and I’d say that you’ve reached it.

View Quoted Comment The thing is I have not reached that point yet. My fiancé has though. Which I really don’t want to get married unless at least my sister is at my wedding. Plus the guests who are planning on attending the wedding just want to come they don’t really care when the wedding is. Since most of them are retired, stay at home moms, or they have work from home jobs. It won’t be an issue for the wedding to be rescheduled for them again.

View Quoted Comment Gotcha! Sounds like the decision is made and a 4th date it is!! Well it’s great that your venue and vendors have accommodated the many changes. That’s so generous of them!

View Quoted Comment The venue we have has been able to accommodate all of our changes. They actually just went with a new vending company right before everything shut down in March. Plus my fiancé and I are getting married at the Elks lodge and they have already said their busiest time is around the holidays. So we should not have a problem rescheduling for May or June.

View Quoted Comment Okay, but the guest minding isn't the issue. It's the person who you want to marry who has the issue. He is one of the most important halves of the wedding and the other being you. He wants to marry you and he wants a firm answer of when from the sounds of it. The universe will never be perfect and not everyone will be able to come.




If we push back or forward the date, you still can't guarantee either your siblings. It's just not how weddings work even the best planned. My sister almost missed my wedding because she was stuck at north carolina airport due to mechanical failure.


The military doesn't listen to brides even if it's the groom on military orders let alone a sibling.


If you push it forward by 3 months would your sister be able to attend with a newborn cross country? If you push it backwards by 3 months your sister may be able to attend at 5 months pregnant but would that be enough time to plan?


And the big question is fiance.... Because you can't get married without him. I think you need to talk to him. The guest will not be in the marriage after the wedding...

View Quoted Comment My fiancé and I are definitely going to have a long talk about this. My brother in-laws parents already told my sister and brother in-law they would watch the baby for the weekend (this will be their second child). Their first child my niece is the flower girl. The wedding already is not how I ever pictured my wedding being. I always wanted to get married in the church I grew up going to and have both my complete side of the family attend and my fiancé’s complete side of the family attend. Now I am getting married at some venue in Las Vegas (where I live and my fiancé’s family is at) instead of the church I grew up going to in Chicago (my family lives in Chicago). Plus my dad and his side of the family won’t attend the wedding unless it is held in Chicago (so they don’t have to travel). My grandparents and my aunt on my moms side is excited to fly to Vegas for the wedding. My fiancé just wants to get married and not change the date again. Because it does not matter to him since all of his siblings live in town. Which I will have to tell him I don’t think I could go through with the wedding without one of my siblings there. It is not even like we sent out the invitations yet, we only sent out save the dates. I know at the wedding we will look back and remember the good times of the wedding. I will also see the family pictures and mine will be missing my siblings while his will have him with his siblings.

View Quoted Comment What if you change location instead of date. It sounds like you're not happy with it because it not Chicago....



You're far enough out you may be able to swing it and your sister being 8 months pregnant would probably be able to attend in chicago... And the family you want can't make it because of distance....

You may of over compromised on location and that's why you're not happy with the date. Because you feel like you have no family there and deep down that was very important to you.
I am not fiance tho, you have to tell him your feelings and work the best solution with him. Keep in mind, nothing will ever go as planned in a wedding.

View Quoted Comment Trust me I knew before I moved to Las Vegas my dad and his side of the family would never attend my wedding if I had it in Vegas. They straight up told me they would not come to Vegas to see me graduate if I received my masters degree or if I got married. The thing is I have my mom, step dad, my step dads parents, and his side of the family, along with my moms parents and her sister who will come in. Trust me I am happy my step-dad will walk me down the isle. I just wish my dad would attend the wedding and both of them could walk me down the isle. Plus not only is my sister expecting around the time of the wedding, I have another family member graduating high school in May. So the wedding weekend is not only going to be about the wedding. I feel like an upset undecided bridezilla right now. I just really am venting at this point. I am sorry.

View Quoted Comment Don't be sorry. I don't think you're acting like a bridezilla. I can just see both sides. You really want the guest list and your fiance wants stability.


My only goal is to find a compromise that both you and fiance are happy with.

After already changing your date 4 times, I would not do it again! It sucks that your sister and brother might not be there, but what if you reschedule, for a FIFTH time, and they can’t make it to that one either for whatever reason. Life throws us curve balls (hello 2020) and sometimes you just have to roll with them. I’d go on as planned.