Timing & Engagement - How Much Should We Talk about It?

Sometimes even in a relationship you have to DTR. I made it clear to my FH (we're long distance) that I wasn't going to dish out $1500 for a plane ticket every year just to see him for 2 weeks. If he's not set on marrying you, no point in letting him get the milk for free.

I definitely think you should talk to him. Maybe find out what is holding him back. For H it was buying the ring. He has two kids and pays child support so he really didn't have the money to buy a ring. We came up with a savings plan together and once we had saved a good amount we went and picked out a ring. Not ideal because it took the element of surprise away but I know it would have never happened without my help. H just isn't good with saving or budgeting.

We dated for 14 years before he "sort of" proposed, and I say "sort of" because it wasn't a huge "down on one knee" thing (which BTW always seemed awkward to me because I don't like being center of attention), anyways, we always talked about wanting to get married and from the start (about 6 months after we started) I told him where I wished to be before taking that step, of course we were just starting college and him saying "oh... I want to marry you and I wish we could do it right now" made me jump and say "I want to finish college first". And we made a point of talking about it from time to time, I advice you to do this,talk to him and ask him what he truly wants and YOU tell him what you want, be honest... and be clear... don't attack him, just have an honest conversation

@nikki because he made a "huge" decision to move on with her but can't say when he'd like to be or how he's thought about marriage? Different strokes. Different folks. He knows something. He knew enough to move in.

@nikki I wasn't suggesting exact. Perhaps the better question is after a year and a half what else are they looking to find to know if they are going to be life partners. I don't see moving in as such a big step tbh. Roommates move out sooner than expected all the time. Having discernment imo should be used to know if someone is a person you want to be married to. You can't be with anyone 24/7 even if you live together. Concerns and red flags and habits are shown well before then. Definitely be open. But if someone moves into your space they should know what their intentions with you and be able to convey that.

FH and I started dating at the end of 2011. We were long distance for almost 4 years, and when he moved in with me I was very very clear about what that meant - I approached moving in with the expectation that we are planning to spend our lives together unless something goes horribly wrong, and I expected him to think the same way or not move in. We lived together almost 2 years before he finally proposed in March. At the beginning of this year I said, I would like to be married by the end of the year, and I would prefer to be engaged with enough time to plan a wedding. He proposed about a month later. We had been together over 5 years. I am 32 and will be 33 by the wedding, so to maximize our chances of having kids it needed to be soon. If we were younger I may have waited longer to say something ....... But based on my experience I would tell anyone if you don't know after 2 years, break up and move on. If you're over about 25, two years should be enough time for you to know someone and you should already know what you want. (Unless you're not looking for marriage and kids, in which case, my advice would be take all the time you please.)

So I was 26 when my FH and I started dating and 32 when he proposed. We'd been dating for over 6 years at the time of the proposal.

Let your guy know how you feel have a conversation sure ... I know I did more then once but without pressure bc no matter how much u want it it won't happen a moment before it's meant to / when he's ready.

Don't let your age stress you to much

I'll be 34 when we get married and am hoping to ttc after the wedding

Honestly, you should have discussed your marriage timeline before you let him move in. It's total nonsense that you "need to live with someone for a while before you think about marriage." That's exactly backwards. If marriage is important to you, you should know that he's serious about it, too, before you make the decision to share a home and a life together.

All you can do now is tell him the clock is ticking. Not your biological clock. Your "get out of my house and out of my life" clock.