Tiered wedding or reception

Yes it is rude. The reception is to thank the guests for attending the ceremony.

What are you reasonings for this?

Yes that's what it is.. and incredibly rude.

I keep seeing this, but what on earth is it????

Incredibly rude. This happened to my BFF years ago - at a wedding I was in, that I didn't know this was taking place! She's still talks bad about that bitch and her tiered wedding. lol

Rude

I have friends who eloped then had a celebration/reception later. Huge bummer to not have been part of the ceremony but that was their decision to make. Yeah, it seems rude but at the end of the day its your day with your vision so do what feels right to you

I believe you have what it is correct and I do know it is frowned upon. I could see if you were having the ceremony with only close family - like maybe a courthouse ceremony or at a small church - and then inviting your guests to your reception as a celebration of your wedding. I don't think it would be a good idea to invite one group to your wedding and more to your reception if its meant to be "well we like these friends more so they can come to both, and these people might give a gift so invite them to the one"...

Yep that's super rude. It's basically saying to your bottom tier that they aren't good enough to attend everything.

How can people who obviously know how to use the internet, still persist in ignoring standard etiquette?

We are not talking about the UK where tiered weddings are standard. We are talking about he USA and Canada for the most part.

You simply don't invite people to a shower and not the wedding.

You simply don't invite people to the ceremony and not the reception.

How hard is that?

Wait a minute...

Your wedding is in 30 days. So this is already happening then. What's the point of this post?

So a tiered wedding is when you invite people to some things and not others the day of the event?? Some people only the ceremony and not the reception? Am I reading this correctly?????

There's a couple variations on it, but they're all rude. A tiered wedding would involve inviting all your guests to the ceremony and then only inviting some of them to your reception, inviting guests to your ceremony but then also inviting more people to the reception only, or having some people who are invited to the whole wedding (ceremony and reception) but then inviting others to come later to the reception after the meal for dancing only).

The only way you can get away with this is if you have a truly intimate ceremony where only your immediate families are invited (parents, siblings, and grandparents) and then have a larger reception where all the guests are invited to the whole reception. But it needs to be a really small ceremony that really is immediate family only. Otherwise, it isn't understandable why some people got invited to the ceremony and reception and others only got invited to the reception.

Oh now I have so many questions........

Yes, Rebecca.

It's okay when it's like, maybe 10 people at the ceremony, and then a larger group after for the reception.

It's also okay when you're having your ceremony in the church you belong to. The ceremony is open to all church members, there's a bit of cake and punch immediately after (I think), then the reception is for only those the couple invited.

It's not okay when you invite 30-plus people to the ceremony, then 200-plus to the reception.

Or like what my former friend did: invite some guests to the ceremony and reception, then sent out a different invitation with a different time on it for other guests to come after dinner was served!

Imagine showing up and seeing the venue staff cleaning up the dinner,, hahahah.

Another exception would be if the ceremony was a DW to most, and the couple throws a reception when they return.

We had a hand fasting at the ren faire because that is where we originally met (formally). We all dressed up and I gave out favors to everyone who came. Anyone who wanted to come was invited. We did this because size wise we cannot accommodate all the people we know from the ren faire (we are talking hundreds of people, no joke. There was like 180 people at our handfasting).

Our wedding is close family and friends and ALL of them are invited to the ceremony and reception.

Am I guilty of this!??!?!

The only two situations that would make this fly were mentioned; a super private ceremony (as in parents and siblings), followed by a reception for a bigger group and a open church ceremony for the congregation without a formal invite.

@OGKat Not at all! I'm sorry you took it that way. I try to keep it light on these forums. I'm not a traditional bride nor do I keep tabs on all etiquette rules. I think culturally etiquette norms can vary to some degree.

Being untraditional doesn't mean your get to disrespect your guests.