Tiered Reception - Fact or Fiction?

This is probably the most offensive thing you can do when planning a wedding. No way would I ever only feed SOME of my family and expect the rest to come back for dancing!

I have never heard of this and would be highly offended if I were put in that situation. You either invite for the whole shabang or don't invite at all.

JC - you've been to 50 weddings? Damn. That's a lot of weddings. I've been to fewer than 15.

Ha ha ha.....Erica, I've been to almost 1200....

Jc, just because others have done it doesn't make it okay or acceptable. Only hosting SOME of your guests is basically telling others that they're not worth your money. Two wrongs don't make a right and it's extremely rude and disrespectful. If you can't afford to have them all for the whole reception, then cut the guest list or have it at a non-meal time.

I think it's like a lot of things. different things are ok for different people.

but I personally can't see having a wedding like the one described.

I've been to a wedding were some people were invited to the wedding and all the rest, but people like certain co-workers were invited to come at 5 and celebrate with cake and dancing.

everyone needs to do things in a way that works for them

I think it's like a lot of things. different things are ok for different people.

but I personally can't see having a wedding like the one described.

I've been to a wedding were some people were invited to the wedding and all the rest, but people like certain co-workers were invited to come at 5 and celebrate with cake and dancing.

everyone needs to do things in a way that works for them

I want to know where JC is from that this practice is "common". I've been to tons of weddings in both canada and the US and have never seen this done. If it was done, it would be considered rude and highly frowned upon as the OP's story demonstrates.

I just can't imagine any family making it a practice to invite everyone to the ceremony, then tell a big portion of them to go away and come back AFTER the important people have been fed a meal.

I just talked to someone that said they had to have a tiered wedding day inviting certain people to once part, others to another to avoid fist fights!

I'm sure the bride has her reasons for planning the wedding that way. best thing to do is just respect it and trust her judgement.

NotFroofy confirms that this is the usual practice in the UK. But in the US, you definitely don't do it unless you want to offend all your friends!

I'm sorry but "the bride had her reasons" isn't an excuse to be rude to her guests. Brides are not exempt from being good hosts.

No, no, no, no, no. In case I haven't made it clear...no. Just no. I can't get my head around people who do it, and I can't get my head around people who accept it. People can justify it all they want, just no, no, no, no, no.

This is something invented by people who just can't fathom that you invite your CLOSE FRIENDS and family to be at your wedding ceremony and then celebrate with you. It's not common, it's not polite, it's not acceptable and it's not a practice that is going to have anyone on the 'b' list in your life for very long.

I'd find it much more palatable to hear that the couple had a small, intimate (under 30) celebration ant that's why I wasn't invited. This is pure and utter crap.

Everyone "has reasons" for what they do. In this case, her "reason" could just be that she's rude and inconsiderate.

Oh geeze! don't hurt me! but...ooof...we're having a two tiered wedding too...I'll also preface this by saying that culturally, with small weddings - like france- it's pretty common here in quebec. we've been to a few as 2nd tier and have always just been grateful to be invited and somewhat relieved lol..we've always given a gift anyway just cause we're those kind of peeps, but it's never expected or asked of when you go to reception only.

we're handling things a little differently...we originally only had a guest list of 50 for dinner due to budget..raised it to 70 after discussing things and figuring out who would get insulted and hurt not being invited to the whole thing and have about 25-30 people we're inviting to the reception for dessert and a chill midnight snack...they already know our financial situation..and we originally advised them we wouldn't be able to invite them...so i think it will be a pleasant surprise that we're sending out an invite for them to join us later even if it's not for dinner.

they're friends we never get to see but love and want to celebrate with..but they're also people who we know don't really care for the intimate ceremony bits/speeches ect...and will be more than happy to just come to party it up and celebrate with us and enjoy free booze and snackies