Thursday Evening Wedding

Team Thursday wedding over here.

Honestly the ones who don't like Thursday weddings are in the minority here. Truly, after reading this post I looked up my venue to see if I can transfer to a Thursday. I would pay HALF. Holy shit.. then I could host a day after brunch for the "inconvenience" of the Thursday wedding!!!! Thanks for posting this OP! Time to talk to FH!

Doing a weekday wedding seems to me like passing off the cost of your wedding onto your guests. The WW community frowns on that in general, esp when it comes to cash bars and the like. And the cost of missing a few hours of work is MUCH more than the cost of drinks at a reception, right? So I guess because it's passing off the cost of your wedding, it's probably not great etiquette.

BUT I personally think a Thursday wedding is fine as long as you're ok with people declining and won't get your feelings hurt. Your nearest and dearest will still come and people with flexible schedules who can take a few hours off will come. It will be a smaller wedding. More people will be late and more people will leave early, but if you're ok with that, that's ok! Oh also, people may not drink as much since they have to get up for work the next day. It all depends on the vibe you want.

We've hosted Thursday weddings.

The one I can recall was a local family. They rented out the restaurant versus the ballroom. Immediate family only, 15-20 people, tops. The couple a bar tab to pay for the guest drinks.

Outside of the first dance out on the patio overlooking the lake, there was no dancing; just a lovely dinner. It went from 5-8PM. It was very lovely and sweet!

Personally, I wouldn't go to a Thursday wedding unless (a) it was local, was for someone I was very close to, and ended before or at 10PM or (b) the Friday following was some sort of holiday. I wake up at 6AM for work and once school is over, I only have one day off a week (Tuesdays).

@GymRat the OP asked for an opinion on a Thursday wedding and I gave mine. You might not like my opinion but I am not going to lie if someone asks for an opinion. I think you are taking it personal because you have a Thursday wedding. I do not mean for it to be personal I am just giving my own opinion.

I said nobody wants to attend a weekday wedding. I am not being literal, I meant most people. A weekday wedding is cheaper because most people prefer a weekend wedding. It can still be worth it financially to a venue though. Almost everyone I know works Monday- Friday. Your crowd may be different. Your wedding is also close to a holiday weekend so it is a different circumstance.

I said I would attend the wedding of an immediate family member or best friend no mater what day it is. I can still be annoyed about it though. If it wasn't a close friend or was a distant relative, you are correct, I would just decline.

There is also the availability factor. The great venues book up insanely fast; I tried to find a venue for one of my clients on a Friday in November of this year, and literally not one of my venues is free.

If a loved one of mine decided to get married on a Thursday, I would make it work.

@GymRat I'm from northern NJ, 20 mins away from NYC. We are from the same area. I am speaking on behalf of personal experience and from what I know people around me think about weddings held during the week. People work. Just like having a 3:00pm ceremony on a Friday, most people won't show. You can have the fanciest wedding you want, but if you don't have a good turn out then it's not going to matter. But you are entitled to you opinion, as am I.

I attended a Thursday wedding and I enjoyed it. It was local for me and since I knew about far in advance, I took a half day at work. It was done by 10:00 and it seems all 100 guest invited showed up. It really just depends on your crowd.

I agree with @Stacy. I would try to make it work. When I worked weekends I had to take off for Saturday weddings. It sucked but being there for my friend was important to me.

Sometimes it's not possible, if that is the case you decline.

If I was close to the couple (or just half of the couple) i would yet to make it work. If I wasn't super close to them I would decline.

I would totally attend a Thursday evening wedding and I would take Friday off work to extend my weekend.

Iyla, honey, you're wrong when you say, "Doing a weekday wedding seems to me like passing off the cost of your wedding onto your guests." Not in the slightest. A Friday wedding isn't passing off the cost of your wedding to your guests -- neither is a Thursday, a Wednesday or a Monday. Every guest can decline if they so choose.

Passing off the cost of your wedding to your guests includes hideous practices like charging guests for their meals, charging guests for their drinks, handing out a tin cup and asking their guests to donate to their honeymoon, or to throw singles and fives into some pathetic, stupid jar they're passing around. Being invited to a formal Thursday night event isn't unusual for business people and professionals. In fact, it happens all the time. If a partner at your law firm is being married on a Thursday night and you've been invited, you'd better attend.

As far as weddings are concerned, as long as the guests are hosted with wine/beer (and better yet, an open bar), and they are hosted with passed apps and a full meal, where are they being asked to fund a wedding? They aren't. Plenty of guests invited to a weekday wedding can't make the ceremony due to professional obligations, but they still show up at the reception, congratulate the couple, celebrate with them, and leave a generous gift.

I would go but I wouldn't like that it's Thursday and would leave early to go to work for Friday. Unless I was really close with you, I wouldn't take Friday off

@Centerpiece Thanks for highlighting that. I honestly never thought about it that way but it makes sense now; one is asking for literal money for the wedding and the other is just finding ways to make the wedding more affordable but of course is not literally asking people to fund the wedding. I have no personal problem with weekday weddings, as I said above.

On a humorous note, I actually have to disagree about the partner being married on a Thursday. Any good big law associate would know that's a trap! We'd probably get major kudos for "having to work" and not attending haha. Plus, partners don't usually invite us lowly associates; the first partner's wedding I'll be invited to is the one to my own FH!

Thursday wedding may be a bit of a hassle for your guests. But ultimately the day is about you and your FH. While it may be an inconvenience those who love you and want to be there will go out of their way to make sure they are there. Unless you just really want all 90 people there I say go for it!

Mmm.. it depends on your crowd, I think. I was a BM in a friends wedding last year, her wedding was on a Tuesday starting at I think 3pm. About 20-30 of her 100 person guest list showed up. We tried to explain prior to that people may not come and she wouldn't hear it. She was not pleased when so few people came saying "well I gave people advance notice!" Yeah, some people just can't afford to take the time off or are not able to get the time off due to other reasons, plus if they have children.. school gets out at 3pm usually. She just didn't plan well and was disappointed. I tell that story just so you are aware of what can happen. I don't want you to be super disappointed.

I have been in a Thursday wedding and did not find it convenient at all. That being said, the bride was a nurse and it was easier for her and others to switch days and work weekends. I agree with Nikki - just know your crowd.

@Natalie - so because someone doesn't have a good turnout, it's not going to matter? I didn't realize the day was more about having a high guest count than getting

married. I can have the fanciest wedding, and if 50 people come, it will matter because those 50 people took the time to attend our wedding. Also, people work? Ya don't say!

@Miami - and I chose to respond to your opinion because you put it out on a public forum, and I didn't agree with it. It's kinda how this thing works. I'm sorry if I ruffled your feathers.

Maybe it's where you guys live. Maybe it's your age. Because over here, we party any day of the week.

@Jillian - awesome.

Too bad I can't remember the bride who had a Thursday wedding in NYC, and she had only 15 declines (over 120 guests invited I think). I guess most people wanted to go.

My lawd GymRat your wedding sounds amazing! and you're so right, as long as you host the crap out of your guests, people aren't going to remember that it was on a Thursday, they're going to remember everything you did to make their experience amazing!