Throwing my own bridal shower

Well, what most people would say is that it is distasteful to throw your own shower, since it's mainly an event where people come and "shower" the bride to be with gifts. I wouldn't encourage it, and people who care for you and who may want to give a gift at a later time will. You don't really need an official event to receive gifts. You'll most likely receive some at your wedding. I completely understand the conflicts you've described, though. But.. yeah. That is just my opinion. I hope you have a fantastic wedding!

It is definitely bad taste to host your own shower. If no one throws one for you then you'll have to skip it. Which isn't really a big deal, it's not a necessary wedding event!

You still have a lot of time left for a shower. I would let your cousin have her wedding then she what happens.

As PPs mentioned above, throwing your own shower would be seen as bad taste

Not having a shower at all is in perfectly good taste. If someone offers to throw you one, you can graciously accept if you want to. But if no one offers, or you decide not to accept, you'll still be fine.

A lot of people think it's in bad taste. But frankly I live in reality that not everyone comes from massive or supportive families to do these things and those people deserve a good time too. In general the reason people think it's bad taste is because of the gift giving aspect. I'd have more of a party shower with food and games and not say much about presents unless directly asked.

It is considered rude and selfish to throw any party in your own home or, where you receive gifts. No bridal or baby showers, bo birthday parties. Showers are NOT a bridal party job. Any friend, or female family member can give one. Often, since people pick close friends and family for BP, all or some volunteer. But you need not have any BM, or they can be far away, and still you may have a shower. My bridesmaids and 2 MOH were far away for my whole 5 month engagement. Old neighbors, friends, and my family gave me 2 small ones in NH, one for people going to the wedding, one for people not invited, who decided to do one with a $5 maximum on gifts. Small one given by friends in Boston, and my sisters in Boston area came. FMIL gave one in in NYC, for groom side, and ,2 of my army friends and 3 of 4 wedding party came as guests from states within an hour of NYC. Perhaps your mom, sister, or a good friend could ask others to host one together. . . . It is proper for a bride to give a luncheon or social gathering ( cookout, picnic , need not be formal) where she plans and pays, like hosting any party. But absolutely no presents. Why never called a shower, since shower equals giving bride presents.

I don't think it's in bad taste to skip a shower all together..but like others have said, throwing your own won't be taken well. If you want to celebrate you can invite people over for food as an engagement party type thing.

My FMIL asked about a shower. I told her I wasn't having one. Hopefully no one was offended. I've been in my house for eight years..and FH has all kinds of stuff. We don't need or want a shower.

You should until after your cousin's wedding. Afterwards, she if they want to throw one for you!

And if you want, throw your own shower. Everyone on here says its bad taste, but I believe if you want for everyone to do something for you, you'll never have anything.

Id originaly started planing with my younger "sister in law" but she got busy with work/kids/life so its pretty much fallen onto me to finish im not going to cancel because its also right after my bday and i wont be seeing family on my bday anyway.

It is very likely that people are waiting until after your cousin's wedding in August. Showers usually happen 1-3 months before the wedding so there is plenty of time for it to still happen. However, it is very poor taste to throw your own shower. A lot of people don't have one if no one offers.

People will usually offer to throw one. Since your wedding isn't until January a shower may not happen until October or November. Wait and see what happens after the cousin's wedding. After that when approached you can say I'd like to have a shower but not sure who would host one since I don't have a wedding party. Only when approached though. Maybe you'll get a volunteer.

View Quoted Comment I couldn't agree more! I'm getting married once and I want those wedding experiences. I'm one who does almost everything for every one else and myself, so why not this, too? The focus will be on getting together and having a good time, not being showered with gifts.

I say, if no one has mentioned anything by October, start planning it!

To be honest, it's your wedding and I think you should do whatever you want. If you want to throw it, so be it. It's your day. People are just focused on the whole gift giving idea but if no one is helping you then why not do what you want that's going to make you happy.

View Quoted Comment I get that but people said they would help her. So why not wait for her cousins wedding next month?

View Quoted Comment I did say if she hasn't heard anything by October. As another person mentioned, showers are usually 1 to 3 months before the wedding, so October would be the earliest to have it or be planning it.

If you don't have anyone wanting to host the shower for you, you shouldn't have one. They are an optional party that you shouldn't throw yourself. You can however help plan the shower but you should have an official host.

My shower was a month before my wedding. They didn't start planning the shower until 2 months before the wedding. I would just wait and see what happens, but don't throw your own shower.

I agree with others that you should actually host the bridal shower. I do believe that you can discretely touch-base about it.

I called my sister about something info-wise, and she immediately asked me "what about the bridal shower." This was 6 months out. I told her that something probably hasn't been started yet, but I'd have no idea. I encouraged her to reach out to my MOH for any details as she would likely be 'in the know.' I then let my MOH know about the conversation, but made it distinctly clear that she did not have to plan one. I just wanted to redirect the calls to her since, if anything was happening, she'd likely hear about it.

It would make sense for them to be waiting until your cousins shower to switch gears to focusing on your wedding. Hers is first after all, I could understand being more upset if her wedding were after yours.