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Ella Marie
Devoted May 2019

Throw You’re Own Engagement Party!?!

Ella Marie, on April 8, 2018 at 12:20 AM Posted in Planning 0 30
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Now hear me out before any snap judgements lol!!

We are having a DW! May of 2019. Only super close family and our bridal party are invited..so that’s right around 40-45 guests tops. We were throwing around the idea of later on next summer having a bigger reception once we come back home for the rest of our families and friends who wouldn’t be coming to the wedding. But, instead of doing that we thought about doing an Engagement Party this summer for everyone. Low key, a bbq type party at a pavilion at a park. My family and my fiancé’s family would make food. We’d have cupcakes, food, alcohol, corn hole, games. That’s my fiancé and I. Just low key. We would ask for N O gifts! The point of this party is not for gifts. We don’t want any and will not ask. We just want to celebrate with everyone who won’t be able to make it down for the wedding. Now my question is, is it wrong for my fiancé and I to plan this?

30 Comments

Latest activity by PalmTrees, on April 9, 2018 at 8:17 PM
  • Ella Marie
    Devoted May 2019
    Ella Marie ·
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    Also is it wrong to invite other friends and family who won’t be coming to the wedding? What is the etiquette for it?
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  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
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    Why not just plan a family BBQ without calling it an engagement party? Engagement parties often have an indication that money or gifts should be brought.

    If you just planned a plain cookout, I think that's fine just don't relate it back to the wedding at all because people will assume it's a gift giving occasion. Good luck!
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  • A
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Angela ·
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    I think it's a nice sentiment for those that won't be able to attend your wedding. It doesn't seem like a bad idea, you're not asking much of your guests to come and celebrate the union of your marriage. And it's a great way to save.

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  • M
    Super October 2018
    Michelle ·
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    The party is a great idea but it does need a different name because of other people's expectations are with that name.
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  • Ella Marie
    Devoted May 2019
    Ella Marie ·
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    How can we re name it?! I’m sure when the invites go out everyone will know it’s pretty much an “engagement bbq” if it’s not on the invite. You know what I mean? I’m struggling... 😖😖 I didn’t realize have a DW would be so difficult.
    • Reply
  • P
    Devoted July 2018
    Precious Stone ·
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    It's a great idea, but like everyone said, give it a different name
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  • K
    Savvy July 2018
    Krissy ·
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    I think it’s a great idea. And I don’t think you need to give it a different name. It’s an engagement party, so call it that! That way it will be obvious to everybody that you’re celebrating your engagement and upcoming wedding, which you are!
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  • Ella Marie
    Devoted May 2019
    Ella Marie ·
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    What about like a “Celebrate our Engagement” party? Idk. lol. Is that corny!!?! Hahahaha.
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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    I've never thought engagement parties were gift giving occasions and most people I know who had them hosted them themselves. If you had a party after the DW to celebrate, I would expect to bring a gift.
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Having an engagement party is great! But IMO, everyone who is invited to an e party should be invited to the wedding.
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  • Kristie
    Devoted April 2018
    Kristie ·
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    I think it is a great way to celebrate! I say do it!!!!
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  • E
    Savvy December 2018
    Erin ·
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    Have the party! Call it an engagement party, that's what it is. It's your wedding, do what feels right for you.
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  • A
    Dedicated June 2019
    AtoK ·
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    We are throwing a smaller bbq/engagement party for ourselves at the one year out mark. The people coming are close friends and family, no one thinks it's rude and everyone understands no gifts are expected. It depends on your people.
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  • T
    Just Said Yes May 2018
    Tiffany ·
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    If it's an engagement party call it that...if you do not want gifts add that to your invite say something like " please no gifts, the greatest present is having you celebrate with us"... and I tend to plan all of my own parties, your asking for your families help with food so your not doing it all alone Smiley smile
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  • lilam18
    Expert July 2018
    lilam18 ·
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    I would personally be pretty hurt if I was invited to something like this and then not invited to the wedding. Like others have said, maybe you can call it something else. People will still be excited about your engagement, so it will have a similar feel without all of the baggage of an engagement party.
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  • Janice
    Devoted July 2018
    Janice ·
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    I would too.
    Yes, it’s rude to host your own engagement party.
    Yes, anyone invited to any pre-wedding event (shower, engagement party, bachelorette) must be invited to the wedding.
    Either have a post-wedding reception as planned, or don’t call this party anything to do with your wedding at all.
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  • Sarah
    Dedicated September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    We are hosting our own engagement bbq too! Our plan is to write “no gifts please” on the invitation. It’s a dual purpose thing for us- we moved into our house last September but a lot of his family has never seen it and we figured it’s a good time for our families and friends from both sides to get to know each other better!
    • Reply
  • S
    Savvy June 2019
    Soon2BMrsGreen ·
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    I don't think you need to rename it... My FH and I are having an engagement party in 2 weeks and we put on the invitation no gifts just come. Our idea is that we stock the bar for our wedding seeing as tho it will save us 4,000 dollars. Its a dress to impress affair and we invited about 50 ppl which all have rsvp'd at this point. Also, our party we are actually propsing to our bridal party.... I think a bbq would be fun and if you let ppl know you do not want gifts everyone should be fine!!! Have fun, congratulations and good luck
    • Reply
  • Emilie
    Super April 2019
    Emilie ·
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    I think by telling everyone you guys are having a small intimate DW, planning an engagement party is a cute idea to celebrate with everyone else! Me personally, as an adult would not be offended in the least! I would probably bring a gift because I'm not going to the actual wedding, but that wouldn't make me feel like you were expecting a gift!! Good luck OP!!
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  • rica
    VIP September 2018
    rica ·
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    While these forums are so helpful in learning etiquette of weddings, I also think it’s important to share our own “real world” experiences. I can honestly say that I would not have batted an eye at getting invited to something like this. And I can’t say I’ve known the official hosts of many parties I’ve attended. I think this case can be one of those exceptions.
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