Thoughts on Stock the Bar parties?

I think these types of events are not proper etiquette. It’s not up to your guests to purchase anything for the wedding, or more notably, for the reception which is your thank you to them for coming to the wedding. As a non-drinker, I don’t want to purchase alcohol that I’m not even going to enjoy (unless I’m hosting a dinner, my reception, etc). Just stock the alcohol yourself; utilize sales and bulk purchases to help reduce costs.

Stock the bar parties for your own home are fine. Expecting guests to supply the alcohol for your wedding is tacky.

View Quoted Comment Got it! I was getting that feeling as well... I am glad I asked. 😳😳

I’ve been to several stock the bar showers as they are very popular in the south. They are always to stock your bar at home, not to stock the reception.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! I am probably going to stay away from the whole idea.

A lot of people will say having guests supply the alcohol for the party you’re hosting is tacky. For me personally, I think the real issue is ...you then give up control of what you’re serving for the wedding, and you may end up with a wide variety of drinks, not all created equal. For example, I’m a red wine drinker, and I like good wine. So, I’d bring a nice bottle. But, other people have ...cheaper taste. They might bring a bottle that I would not be interested in drinking. Wedding day rolls around and I’m not the first up to the bar. Try to get a red, and my good stuff’s gone and I end up with the gross cheap stuff. I would not be happy. I think brand control is important at a wedding— consistent bottles so you know what you’re getting when you head up to the bar. I did go to a wedding once where they had just bought a handful of bottles per sales and had like 3 different brands of the same type of wine that they were working between. One was great and one was basically undrinkable. It was a bummer but it also led to a lot of wasted wine. So my biggest concern with a stock the bar for a wedding is how inconsistent the bar would end up being

I agree this is a HUGE "know your crowd" issue. In our social circle, this would be incredibly tacky. But, I understand there may be social groups where this is completely normal. You need to know your guests and understand the potential ramifications.

View Quoted Comment I didn't even think about that!! That is a great point also, even for us to remember as we shop sales and such to stock up! Thanks for that

As the previous post said, this is a know your crowd situation. I recently went to a Stock The Bar event. They made it fun and turned it into a Stock the Bar-beque event. Everyone hung out and guests were fed delicious food. While some people may say it’s in poor taste/tacky, you can choose to do whatever you please.

It really depends on how formal or casual your wedding is. I think a stock-the-bar party might be fun if you're having a very casual wedding with a lot of friends who drink, but if your wedding is formal it might be in poor taste.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! We are pretty casual. But I need to think about it.

These are popular where I live, but they are typically for housewarmings, not weddings.

View Quoted Comment Thanks! I appriciate you sharing your experience

Liquor for the wedding, no. I have been to stock the bar housewarmings, and a couple of showers. They always included either a buffet or glass fronted lockable cabinet. And all the various standard cocktail and wine glasses, cocktail shakers, large clear mugs for coffee or chocolate with liquor, room for whipped cream. Trays, a supply of small cloth napkins. One was a portable bar that someone refinished. And beer mugs. Most glasses were by the dozen. 2 had Mini fridge gifts, the waist high size. And only a few bought liquor, but it was a huge number of bottles. Since people often spend $50-$100 on a shower, about $300 in medium priced liquor is a lot.

We did a "Stock the Bar" wedding shower (co-ed) but for our bar at home, not for the wedding. I personally think that having one to stock the wedding is tacky but one of my cousins clients threw her a "Stock the Bar" bridal shower in which the alcohol was solely meant to be used at the wedding and also everyone invited to the shower wasn't even invited to the wedding and she got TONS of stuff so I think it is more of a know your crowd thing. We personally had an absolute blast at our party.

I had never heard of these parties prior to this website. So I think it's a regional and a "know your crowd" sort of thing. If anyone invited me or my family to one of these, it would probably be looked at as tacky to ask your guests to provide your own alcohol. BUT if we were used to it and it was common, it would be way more well received.

I've always heard of stock the bar parties. It wasn't until the last 2 months that I learned people used them to stock their wedding bar instead of home bar.
It seems strange to me. I'm not a fan.

Yes, your research is correct, stock the bar parties are for your home bar (a lot of couples who have a house and have lived together for a while usually do these, since they have a lot of "home" stuff already). Your friend was 100% mistaken when they had this party, and making guests purchase something they will be directly consuming at the wedding is not proper etiquette. As long as it is for your own personal (non-wedding) use, stock the bar parties are fine!

Sorry to post twice! But, if you are looking for a good deal on alcohol, the bulk stores (Sam's, Costco, BJ's) and some other stores (Trader Joe's) sell bulk alcohol at pretty good prices. One thing to keep in mind is to ask if they accept returns on unopened bottles, that way you can buy with the assurance that you will have plenty, but be able to return what your crowd doesn't consume!

View Quoted Comment

Yeah, remember sales between now and then! We found these really amazing red wines on clearance as they were being discontinued and saved a FORTUNE on our wine - They ended up being about $3.50 a bottle, down from $15. We also paid close attention to coupons at our local grocers and spirit stores, and all we have left to buy is champagne (and I think we're buying it from Costco). If you buy a few bottles every paycheck, or get deals here and there, you'll barely notice you're spending anything on the booze - if you wait until the last minute it hurts a little more. LOL.