Thoughts on getting married (license) and later having a wedding

The celebration that you throw next year would be a vow renewal, since married people can't get married again without a divorce, but if that's what works for you and your FH, you should go for it!

I did the same thing but not with that much of a gap. We got married March 20th 2019 and had our celebration April 20th 2019. We had a really intimate ceremony and had the actual wedding after. Most of our guests knew we were already married and they still got excited and cried when we did it on April. Do what's best for you and do not let all these rules and etiquettes get the best of you. I never followed a single one and yet had the perfect wedding with 100% attendance and absolutely beautiful. Definitely take your time, good luck hun

I don't think it would necessarily have to be a vow renewal. Are you planning on letting everyone know you're already legally married or would it be just between you and immediate family? My best friend's father passed away while she was planning her wedding. Her now husband was in the military and so they decided to get married on paper so she would have health and other assistance through him. They only told the immediate family and then still had their "wedding" as if they were just getting married. If you plan on announcing to everyone that you're already married then maybe you could just phrase it as a celebration of your marriage or something.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this as well

Like Caytlyn said, if you're going to do a ceremony it would be a vow renewal since you'd already be legally married. But plenty of couples have courthouse weddings and receptions a few months later.

View Quoted Comment The only problem with this is it is technically deceitful. Some people get VERY upset about this sort of thing. Just be careful if this is your plan of action. I wouldn't care one way or the other, personally.

In many countries, the legal and religious/ceremonious weddings are separate. Some religious institutions don’t recognize legal marriages and in some places, religious weddings aren’t recognized by the law. I would call it a wedding or celebration of love, it’s a bit silly to call it vow renewal after a year. If someone asks, you can tell them you are legally married.

Don’t feel the need to explain yourself or pressured to call it “vow renewal.”

In my opinion, it's unethical to call an event a "wedding" when you are already "wed". The term wedding indicates that you will be witnessing two people being wed.

I don't understand why some PPs are put off by the term 'vow renewal', because technically that's exactly what it is. If love celebration or some other term is more to your liking, by all means - go for it. But if you choose to have a courthouse or otherwise private/quick/casual ceremony - and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that - you have to own your choice.

When you have a later reception, there may be some people who might choose not to go when they might ordinarily have gone to your 'wedding' or might not choose to give a gift, or might choose whatever....or they may choose to go and gush all over you just like they would if it were your wedding. But that should be THEIR choice to make. Just like you made your choice. I'm not commenting on what's right or wrong....just that people should have the facts. It's only fair to them. And again, it's just a matter of accuracy. There nothing "less than" about it.

We did that. Got legally married in January so we could get started with the green card process for me because I needed to be able to work ASAP. Just had our parents there. It was really nice and casual, no pressure or stress.
We are having a big wedding/vow renewal in June so that we can celebrate with all our friends and family. We’re calling a celebration of our marriage and everyone knows that we are technically married. I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep it a secret.

Did you and your FS decide what to do about your wedding, Liz? Will you get legally married this year and have a celebration next year? If this makes the process less stressful for you both it's definitely something to consider