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J
Beginner August 2020

Thoughts on future sister-in-law’s dress

, on July 7, 2020 at 12:47 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25
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So my fiancé and I had decided to do a small wedding party - only maid of honor and best man to avoid issues of who gets to part of the wedding or not.
His older sister has mixed opinions of me because she doesn’t like that I speak my mind. Well recently she took his other sister shopping for a dress to wear to the wedding and sent him a picture. He showed me a picture and I was baffled. The dress (see picture) is mostly white with some flowers. I feel that it is way too much white to wear to someone else’s wedding, especially being a family member and not just a random guest. His younger sister is 23 and the older one (who doesn’t like me) is 35. I feel both of them are old enough to understand that it is not okay to wear white to a wedding!

I feel like at this point I’m better off just biting my tongue to avoid any hatred toward me. I know that if I say anything they’ll just say I’m being annoying 😒. What would you do if you were me?Thoughts on future sister-in-law’s dress 1

25 Comments

  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag

    Wouldn't bother me. No one will confuse her for you.
    I wore a white floral dress to a friends wedding once and didn't think twice about it - especially since she was there when I bought it and had no issue. In hindsight, maybe people were judging me, but I didn't notice.

    Thoughts on future sister-in-law’s dress 2


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  • Shana
    Dedicated October 2020
    Shana ·
    • Flag
    Personally I think the dress is fine, sure maybe they shouldn’t wear white but it’s not a solid white dress it has a lot of color! Definately couldn’t be mistaken for a wedding dress so I wouldn’t stress about the small stuff otherwise you’ll drive yourself crazy
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag

    I was 0% concerned about what any of my wedding guests wore. No one was going to confuse them for the bride. That being said, I personally wouldn't wear this to someone else's wedding.

    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Devoted May 2021
    Stacey Online ·
    • Flag

    I'd move on and focus on the things that matter (and I swear I don't mean that in a mean way). What she wears doesn't matter - no one is going to mistake her for the bride, and at the end of the day she's the only one who will look foolish.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I think it's fine. it's not solid white nor would she be mistakened for a bride

    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner August 2020
    ·
    • Flag



    Thanks everyone! I did kind of just brush it off. I definitely felt that with everything else going on right now, her dress was the least of my worries. A friend kept telling me I needed to say something but I felt like it was a waste of energy to get annoyed over something so minor
    • Reply
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    I agree with pps that the dress in the photo seems completely appropriate for a guest at a small summer wedding. I can't imagine anyone would look at someone in that dress and think, "Oh, there's the bride!" (unless of course you are wearing a white dress with pink and red flowers on it). Especially if you don't have the best relationship with one or both FSILs, I would totally let this go as a non-issue. Hang in!

    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    I personally would not care if someone wore this dress to my wedding, but I have a feeling that some of your guests might have an opinion or two on it which to be quite honest, only make the girl appear a little bit foolish. I think the only thing I would get pissed about slightly is if someone younger who is close to my age is wearing a solid white or ivory dress. But again it’s just a very personal preference, and I feel like any adult woman with a brain knows better than to even question to wear white to someone else’s wedding. My personal stance on what to wear as a guest is to try to stay away from white as much as possible, and if it’s a dress that you’re questioning or you think might be ok then guess what other people may question it too. With that said, if you don’t like the dress I would just have your fiancé maybe say something like can you maybe try to find a dress with a little less white and it
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I love this dress! I would totally not mind if someone wore this dress to my wedding, where did you get it?!
    • Reply
  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2020
    Cassandra ·
    • Flag

    I feel like it looks like a bridal shower dress that the bride would wear. I think it's not dressy enough to be confused for a wedding dress. However, I do think wedding guests should avoid white and lighter shade dresses.

    I also understand the frustration too. My FMIL tried wearing a light "blue" dress to our wedding. The dress was so light that it looked white though and was lace. I was honestly upset about it. However, it also doesn't help that we don't have the best relationship lol.

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  • J
    Beginner August 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    That’s exactly how I feel!
    But sometimes it’s not even worth him saying anything. The last time I had a problem with somethin condescending his sister said to me and her tried talking to her about it and she decided that to avoid issues she would just not speak to me for over a year lol She’s 35 but very petty
    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    It was from boohoo but a few years ago

    • Reply
  • Margaret
    VIP October 2020
    Margaret Online ·
    • Flag

    What's wrong with the dress? It's white with flowers - BIG flowers. the dress is gorgeous! I wish I could find that dress for my mom to wear to our wedding. You're getting married next month, that is the perfect summer guest of wedding dress.

    • Reply
  • Jana
    Rockstar June 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    I don't see anything wrong with the dress. No one will be mistaking her for the bride.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Ughhh, it sucks when two personalities just don’t mesh well..... It sucks even more when they are now going to be your new family member
    • Reply
  • Maria
    Dedicated August 2019
    Maria ·
    • Flag

    That wouldn't bother me at all. It would be different if it were an all white or all cream dress. To be honest that is something I would wear to someone's wedding, love the floral. No one is going to confuse the two of you or even second guess why she's wearing that.

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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    I’ve worn a dress similar to that to my husbands step sisters wedding. No issues since it’s not a full white dress. If someone wore this to my wedding I wouldn’t have an issue, even my mom wore a silver shirt that was close to white and I didn’t have an issue either.
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Champion March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    There’s nothing wrong with this dress. Not bridal at all.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    This dress will not be confused as being bridal. It looks perfectly appropriate for a wedding guest. I would worry about something more important.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    You are being unreasonable, in this case. A person may wear an entirely white outfit, if it does not look like a bridal gown. And a bold print like that, with white background, does not look like a bridal gown, it looks like a summer party dress. Ettiquette does not say, No white. Except at the most formal, because when even guests are in formal ballgowns, and all white would be bridal. But at less formal parties, a dress like hers is exactly typical guest clothing, and fine. Etiquette also says, couples have nothing to say about relatives or guests clothes, beyond the level of formality. Not style, not color. Adults choose their own clothes except bridal party. Say nothing.
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