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Devoted September 2017

Thinking of a Afterparty or really big engagement party/bbq

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Dara, on February 4, 2015 at 9:46 AM

Posted in Planning 24

Since my FH and I are on a tight budget. I just came up with the idea to cut the guest list for the actual wedding and formal reception from 200 to now 100. And after the reception or when we come back from our honeymoon to throw a big bbq at a friends house. Or even throw a big engagement party...

Plus our families and friends are mainly Caribbean and from the south I think it's a great idea because we are causal people and really love to party.

Our only dilemma is

1. If we do throw a big engagement party 200 people ...would it be rude to only invite only half to the wedding ?

2. If we do the opposite , invite everyone and their friends to the after party, would they feel a way that they wasn't invited to the "formal wedding" ?

It's just an idea because I have a big family 50 first cousins and a endless count of friends and family that was supportive throughout our relationship

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24 Comments

Master January 2015
Emmy · on February 4, 2015 at 10:45 AM
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Oh good. Sorry I couldn't tell exactly what you meant.
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Master June 2015
Lori · on February 4, 2015 at 10:47 AM
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Have you considered a brunch/lunch reception? Those are usually a fraction of the cost of a dinner reception. Some venues give discounts for Friday/Sunday weddings as well.
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Devoted September 2017
Dara · on February 4, 2015 at 10:55 AM
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Yeah Im thinking about a Sunday Reception .. the only thing is that I'm catholic and most masses in NYC ends around 2:30-3pm ish on Sundays and there are Friday Mass that begins at 4:30pm It's really crazy out here... Most venues gave me a quote that's really expensive for a evening Sunday reception. Im gonna try to talk to my Priest about a Friday ceremony pretty soon to be more flexible
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Savvy September 2020
Ona · on December 10, 2019 at 3:15 AM
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Ok, I’m not confused. I get it. My fiancé has a large family, I have a large family that I’m really not close with at all but friends who have taken me in and treated me like family since I was a baby.
For us it just wasn’t going to be possible for us to have a 100 ppl wedding reception and ceremony. We want to get married in new Orleans and aren’t willing to budge on that for sentimental reasons I also can’t fathom the idea of having a cheap or distasteful wedding because we only get to do it once so I want it to be perfect.
My lovely grandmother offered for us to host our wedding in her back yard in Maryland since the quotes we were getting for just 50 ppl were climbing into almost $10k 😬 (I literally started crying) I love my grandmother but I want the perfect wedding.So, I thought to myself, we can have our dream wedding in New Orleans if we have 10 ppl or less for around $300 and just have his mom, sister, my grandmother and our two best friends there and have a “reception” either before or after for cheap in my grandmother’s back yard and invite everyone.SO... in conclusion, I think it’s more than acceptable to say that weddings are expensive and you just can’t host as many ppl as you would like to be there so you’ll have a get together another date so that everyone can celebrate. If anyone would give you trouble after that then they’re only there for themselves. This day is about the two of you and what you want and you can only do so much but don’t waste your energy and attention (and money) trying to please everyone because first and foremost what’s important is that you and your s.o. have the wedding you want and will be happy with because you can only do it once. ❤️💋
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