The RSVP struggle....Why is it so hard?

Oh looking forward to this part. Not! Stocking up on wine for this phase. Sounds like a barrel of monkeys fun.

Husband I decided that we will send save the dates and RSVP cards together BUT people will not receive the actual invite with all wedding info until the RSVP is returned. They can RSVP either physically with the card or verbally, as long as they confirm with a number of people! Everybody will know the date and town wedding is in but must RSVP for times and exact location that way we know exactly who is coming.

@Heather I wouldn't recommend that. A save the date is not an invitation and people are not supposed to reply to them. And how will people know if they can even attend your wedding or not without all of the details?

@Heather, If you are inviting people to your wedding it's not very nice to withhold information to only the people who accept. I am assuming you are doing this so people who do not RSVP won't show up or RSVP "no" won't show up without being accounted for but this is not a great way to handle that issue. Also, you send STD's out 6-8 months in advance for 10-12 for destination weddings. There is no way in the world I could commit to a date 6 months from today to RSVP. Not trying to be hateful but wanting to show you there may be a better way...

Our cutoff day was yesterday, and FH's grandma asked me why I intend to follow up with people. If they didn't RSVP, they're not coming. Lol. Just for reference, we sent out 120 invites with prepaid postage and the card to send back. We have gotten maybe 25 back. She thinks that people who just didn't RSVP aren't coming. Omg. This has been my life this week! Somehow the etiquette of following up with people to her, is "rude". I don't understand!

@FutureMrsMash- I would have a baby panic attack (or maybe a big one) if I had to track down people to go with 95 invites. I am so so sorry! I pray that process goes smoothly for you. Sending some good vibes your way.

I did all online RSVPs through our wedding website. It seemed like a big risk at the time, but it worked PERFECTLY and everyone (even our older folks) used it to respond without issue (granted, several needed reminders...) For any brides still considering the online route, I recommend it!!

Heather, I thought of the something along that line at first until a bunch of people here told me that was a bad idea for many reasons. I'm super glad they set me straight.

PLEASE DONT DO THAT!!!! THAT'S TERRIBLE ETIQUETTE!!!!!!!

@NAS- That sounds like a fantastic idea!