The RSVP struggle....Why is it so hard?

I dk....people just dont really understand the behind the scene details and why it's so important. I just try to be super prompt with RSVPs because i know the struggle.

I just got done with tracking people down a couple weeks ago. We got most of our RSVP's AFTER our date. It wasn't as bad tracking people down as I thought other than the people who were like "well... we are going to TRY and come" and it's like "no... you either come or not" lol.

Why do you need the card back if someone RSVP'd verbally? The point is to let you know if they're coming, and they've done that.

I have a recent bride who is being a real pain to nail down on her family's RSVP. Its blowing my mind. She knows what a pain this whole process is but still can't send in a timely reply. UGH!

@WED18 if all 100 people just verbally told me if they were coming, I would never remember them all. And some people have other questions on their RSVP- like meal choice.

I know when I lived in an apartment, it was a pain in the butt to mail stuff out. Because there wasn't a drop off for outgoing mail, I had to go to the Post office, find a mail drop box, or bring it to work.

My problem so far has been people not indicating which guest ordered which meal. The RSVP card says "indicate meal choices with guest initials or names"... so far I have got a bunch of numbers and dashes... its not a big deal with couples because they could always switch If its wrong but it is an issue with large families- my aunt RSVP'd for all 9 of them and didn't put a single name next to the meal choices. No way I can guess on that. Reading is hard apparently...

@Kristin- That walk to the mailbox can be brutal! @MrsBee- I will be incredibly prompt with RSVPs after this process. @Brooke- Oh no, how did you handle that? I would need a yes or no but wouldn't want to be rude. @wed18- We are keeping track of everything with the cards to ensure nobody is missed. I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning so I am afraid I will forget if I don't have a card to remind me.

I had two people who told me they misplaced the card but they were coming. I just asked them what they wanted to eat and moved on. What annoyed me more than that was the couple that sent it back with no meal choice selected and when I asked the they said "Oh we didn't read it. We thought you were having a buffet."

We, too, self addressed and stamped the envelope. We ALSO gave them the option to RSVP online if walking to their mailbox was really that inconvenient (mine is down the street, I get it).

My RSVP by date was August 1st and I was still waiting on responses from 22 households since yesterday. Finally had his grandmother and my mother make the calls to get the stragglers.

Even worse is that most of them were cousins who recently planned weddings and got married themselves. One was even a friend of my fiance's who is RIGHT NOW planning a wedding for October (and her planning a wedding isn't an excuse since we were also invites to her wedding and I RSVP'ed online the day I got her invite). Shame!

@Kelsey- I forgot to mention that people also have the option to RSVP online.....

I haven't had this issue yet, but I know the struggle and I always try to turn my RSVP in right away! I know my friends have had issues with bridal party, etc because they are like you obviously know we are coming...but it's really the principle. Also, sometimes you have to choose food/transportation, etc. We will be polling about our shuttle so we definitely need people to let us know!

OHH HERE'S MY WTF RSVP MOMENT:

This weekend I helped host FH's cousins baby shower. One of the great aunt's walked over to me and said, "I'm not gonna mail the deal back, but just know we are coming." In the moment, I just smiled and said, "Okay" cause I really didn't know what to say, but in my mind I was continually thinking WTF. It's stamped, addressed, the whole 9 yards. WTF. WTF?! I told FH and he just laughed. I told my grama and she said, "She's probably gonna cut the stamp off and glue it to another envelope". I bet she's TOTALLY RIGHT cause I've seen other great aunts do the same damn thing.

ETA: So I totally agree with your statement of "why would we do that if we didn't want it back?"

I think it makes it more real and more of a commitment if people actually rsvp (by mail or online) rather than just sending a text or email. The one person who kept promising to get us her paper rsvp (for her and her plus one) never did. She then bailed on my bachelorette party (Thurs. before wedding); about 20 min before it started, she sent a text saying she was sorry about missing it, but would see us Saturday (at our wedding). Guess which guests did not show up at our wedding (so we had to pay for two guests who weren't there)? And I have not heard a word from her since she bailed on my bachelorette. Never even let us know she wasn't showing up or apologized after the fact for not showing up. So yes, people should rsvp by mail or online, whichever option is provided to you by the couple getting married.

@betsy- Oh My Gosh......She is going to cut off the stamp? WHAAAATT? I didn't even know that was a thing. They don't cost that much.....Maybe you should have told her if she mails it back you will get her a new fresh stamp. haha.

@FutureMrsBurroughs, I'll give her a whole book of stamps in our thank you card! Lol. I'm trying so hard not to linger on it because the whole family is going through a rough time and she isn't in the best health... BUT she also knows etiquette rules and plain courtesy! At the same time, my grama isn't sending back her RSVP. However, I know she and grampa will be attending because 1.)They're my only grandparents and 2.) they're helping pay. So I just sent hers so that she could say she got one.

I'd say probably less than half of our guests actually RSVP'd by mailing the card back (pre-addressed and stamped) and we didn't have an online option. Some people just texted us "we're coming" and at that point we didn't feel the need to say OK BUT MAIL THE CARD BACK. If someone gave a verbal RSVP, we just asked what they wanted to eat and marked it on our excel doc. Is it annoying? Absolutely- but what are ya gonna do? Edited for spelling

I hear you. I had to send text and msg. I got 3 responds 2 weeks after it was due

That's why we didn't bother killing a tree and underwriting the postal service, to buy those return cards, envelopes, and stamps. We requested online responses through our wedding website and heard from all but one couple, 10 days before our due date.

I had done online research and learned that getting back the majority of the cards wasn't very probable. Communication is done differently these days. We input all the responses of people who texted us, we talked to, sent a private Facebook message, etc. It took a half a minute per couple, so no big deal.

We got an e-mail every time we got a response. They were more satisfying then walking out to our mailbox 6 days a week and searching for cards, that would possibly never come.

Makes me crazy

We have had several people say, in passing, that they're coming. I always direct them to the website to RSVP. I tell them that we need their meal choices.