the polite way to say NO!

When it comes to wedding planning, as the bride, you have the right to say No.

Just No...nothing else.

If people say "We would love to come." respond back We are keeping the guest list small. No mentions of money, venue size, who is being invited.

And have a serious sit down talk with FH. You both need to create a guest list together and not deviate from it. Be harsh about it. The more strict you are now, the less stressed you will be.

You say, "We are in the process of finalizing our list, but we are keeping it small and intimate.

And have a little sit down with him. It doesn't sound like you're on the same page with this, and remember, "No" is a complete sentence.

Thank you so much!! Trying not to be the "bridezilla" people think I would be but you're completely right!

I totally agree. Talk to your FH. The more strict you are the better off you'll be. We're doing the same thing because if we had the wedding here in our hometown it would cost us a small fortune with just the people we'd want to invite, let alone the ones that would find out about it & show up anyway! Basically, my response to people is we're only having family attend.

Think about this. It's actually really rude for people to kind of invite themselves to your wedding, but they have no problem doing it. By calmly saying what Celia said, you are not being rude back, but standing firm in your own decision.

And I agree, you and your FH need to get on the same page with this. Time for a conversation.

What kind of destination? Is is drive-able or attainable by flight only? If its by flight, don't worry.

You and FH should sit and talk about this, maybe make a list together. You need to decide exactly how many guests you are going to invite and how you want to split that number up. DH and I each wrote out immediate family and guests that couldn't be left off. Then we went from there. I suggest not talking about invites with anyone else, your guests will know they are invited when they get an invitation. Guests are excited too, and probably want to talk about it, but I'd keep it to "we are excited about this time and still figuring out details" or something. Good luck, you've got this!

Both! People are driving and flying. It's a 13hr drive but people are considering the long drive.

Thank you so much everyone! Such great advice!! (:

You need to really sit down together and deal with the guest list. People do not get to invite themselves. There should be no promising invites to anyone at this point. I like the idea of giving him an exact number that he can invite and then he can choose within that framework.

I agree with the others!

Ughhh I really can't believe people invite themselves to weddings! I haven't experienced this yet, probably because we've kept it off of social media and only told the people we are inviting. Then there's my resting bitch face.....

Anywho, I find that men respond to numbers. When we whipped out that calculator and multiplied the cost per person times the amount HE would really want there, then I told him oh don't forget my dress, your tux, photo, video, MUA, honeymoon, florist, (yes I know most of which are optional but this is the wedding HE wanted), the lightbulb went off and he cut off several people off the guest list. We went from over 170 to 125.

I like that but of wisdom Celia, "No is a complete sentence." I always feel the need to offer an explanation!

Love Celia's advice! Wish I had that when telling people no. We decided just family only. It was extremely difficult to tell our close friends our decision. They accepted it and moved on. People should do the same for you.

That's exactly what happened with us when we started to plan our DW. Everyone wanted to come and I was getting stressed. I finally changed it so that no one could come & we'd have a party for everyone when we return home. A few are still coming, but it will only be 5 of us in total (us included). Have you thought about just doing the two of you & then a party once you get home?

You definitely need to sit down with your FH and together come up with a list. He should NOT be mentioning who is or isn't invited to anyone until the guest list is finalized with you!

I was shocked about people inviting themselves. I guess since they like our statuses and photos, they just get an invite :/ I just need to be more firm in my decision making!

Put your foot down girl! DH and I sat down and created a guest list together. NOBODY was spoken to about the wedding that wasn't on that list. Tell them, "we haven't finalized our list yet, but once we do all invitations will be through the mail." That will get them off your back. Also, try not to post on Social Media your wedding info in order to get people to stop talking about it.

Kristen L- yeah we thought about that but then we were like let's just knock it out all in one day and have a longer honeymoon. We were going to do a party back home but then we thought oh that'll be more money we had to spend for a venue, food, etc. so that's why we decided just to do it all in one day

I've literally had four girls assume they were in my wedding party. And over twenty people so far say they can't wait to come or say "I'm invited, right?"

Ugh. I'm basically not talking about it. It makes it easier. (And don't put anything on social media about it. That will help a ton right there. )