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Just Said Yes September 2018

The Officiator

Lauren, on July 20, 2017 at 10:10 AM Posted in Planning 0 36

My fiancee and myself are not religious so we're kind of stuck on who will officiate our wedding. Any ideas?

36 Comments

Latest activity by Nancy Taussig, on July 26, 2017 at 1:30 PM
  • MTMA9917
    VIP September 2017
    MTMA9917 ·
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    You can have a non religious ceremony with pretty much any officiant. Check the vendor tab

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    For starters, you're looking for an officiant. Googling "officiators" is probably not going to get you anything...

    Check the vendor tab. Go to Celebrant USA (they are here) and search by state. Google "wedding ceremony my state".

    Ask your venues and other vendors who they love. We refer other pros all the time.

    (A disclaimer there; if your venue refers someone or they are in their 'book', ask if they pay to play or if they really like them...)

    There are loads of non-religious officiants out there, and you're starting in plenty of time. Good luck!

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  • Mrs. Sponge
    Master April 2018
    Mrs. Sponge ·
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    I'm atheist and my FH is Jewish, but not very religious. We found a JP in our state using the vendor tab.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    The Officiator. Sounds like a new super hero -- officiant by day/crime fighter by night, lol.

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  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·
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    I would probably start by looking for an officiant. Smiley tongue My buddy googled it to find an atheist officiant. Otherwise you can search for a JOP. We ended up going to a church and asking the pastor.

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  • Lauren
    Expert September 2024
    Lauren ·
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    I'm going to ask my cousin and pay for him to get his officiant license online.

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  • Michael V
    Michael V ·
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    I strongly advise against it, Lauren (3/31/18). There is no good reason to solicit somebody who does not know what they are doing to be in charge of the most important part of your wedding day. Please hire a professional. Best wishes!

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Lauren....bad idea. And while you don't have to pay to get him ordained, he may not be legal in your state. We'll just ignore the fact that he probably has no idea what he's doing so every single ceremony question you have will find its way here.

    Not every state has JOP; NJ doesn't, and most of our mayors won't do weddings anymore.

    OP, try everything I mentioned and add to it contacting your local Unitarian Society.

    Signed,

    The Officiator

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    ^^^^LOL^^^^

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  • andrea
    Super September 2017
    andrea ·
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    We got a vendor to do it. They gave us sample ceremonies and I am editing some of it and saying what I want basically.

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  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·
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    @Celia - May I call you the officiator from now on?

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  • Mary C
    Super November 2018
    Mary C ·
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    My first wedding was performed by a notary. My grandma worked with her and she had performed many weddings.

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  • Danielle
    Super March 2018
    Danielle ·
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    I found mine using the vendor tab.

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  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·
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    Notaries cannot perform legal ceremonies in most states. I'm a notary and definitely cannot in IN.

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  • Alforev
    VIP August 2018
    Alforev ·
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    Definitely check the vendors tab! Wedding Wire recommends vendors that are local for you which I have found very helpful!

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    Florida is one of 3 or 4 states that allow Notaries to officiate weddings.

    Laurent, find out from your state's official website who is authorized to officiate weddings in your state.

    Search for civil wedding officiants in your state (may be Justice of the Peace, Notary Public, Magistrate, Judge, Mayor, etc.).

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  • QueSeraSera
    VIP December 2017
    QueSeraSera ·
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    I like "the officiator"! Hilarious! We are having my FMIL's cousin who is a judge

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    @Constance; only if you kiss my ring :-)

    See, this is bad.....now I want a uniform. Something spandex-y and black (of course, this is NYC)....with a giant Swarovsky crystal "O" on the front. And a cape. Or a feather boa. And a jet pack. Definitely a jetpack.

    Here I come to save the day!!!!

    Okay. I clearly need wine.

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  • Michele
    Savvy August 2017
    Michele ·
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    I actually have a long time friend and her husband doing it. He's been a wedding DJ for years and she's been a performer for years as well. They've thought for a long time about getting ordained so my asking them pushed them to do it. I checked first with my county for what is accepted to make sure, they did the online ordination thing and we are set. We wrote the ceremony together to make it exactly what we want and they are all set. They know, from their online training and from my country clerk's office, exactly what the requirements are, we have all the paperwork for the marriage license, and I trust them (as friends and performers) to do a great job in a much more meaningful way because they REALLY know me. I'm so excited!! If you have a wedding coordinator, they will run the show in every other way so the officiates just need to conduct the ceremony. A trusted friend can be a great option.

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  • Madison
    Expert September 2018
    Madison ·
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    My FH is atheist, but me, my family, and my FILs are all very Christian. We are having one of his friends officiate. No one other than our friends know that he is not religious, so we've given him guidelines to officiate us and give references to Christian faith, but when speaking focus mainly on the commitment that we are making to each other.

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