The Knot Newlywed Fund Is the Easy (and Etiquette-Friendly) Way to Ask for Cash

@Sora giving cash gifts at weddings is fine, it's ASKING for cash that is frowned upon

@Sora, here the tradition is you do not ask for money as a host, but it is still the tradition (option but rude to violate it) that guests still give a gift. Most people view it as most appropriate to give cash in a card at weddings.

It is not a rule, but I have frequently heard that people "try to cover the cost of their plate" giving less if they can't afford it or more if they are generous or very close to the couple.

If you are navigating different cultural customs, I would maybe have people who are asking you about if they have to give a gift or money talk to someone else who can either explain US gifting customs or recommend they Google it.

Sadly, YOU can't tell them that because then you are asking for a gift. It's really complicated and can be confusing lol.

But Sora I have a question, if they charge people per person when they RSVP, what do you do if a friend or a cousin can't afford it?

Can they give less, or give money later or are they just not allowed to come since they can't pay their bill?

I got that email as well! So crazy!!

Well shoot, I just got a car last week - you mean I could have asked my guests to pay for it instead? Wow, adulting really is easy!! LOL!!

*insert monkey emoji with hands over their eyes here*

@Sora I think you're right about it being an American thing. Other cultures have money dances, "selling" the groom's tie, paying to kiss the bride the day before the wedding, etc. But, those of us getting married in America must try not to offend our American guests, just as I would hope someone marrying in Brazil would be sensitive to our customs and etiquette there.

It's absolutely fine. Get over yourselves, not everybody needs stuff.

If you don't need any household or material items why would this be so bad? I can imagine registering for honeymoon experiences like scuba diving, snorkeling, tours, zip lining, flights, etc that way your guests feel like they are still contributing to something and not just giving you cold hard cash. I don't need any more material items in my life and my house is already full so why would I not do this?

Rolling my eyes so hard at these comments about it being 'revolting' and 'tacky.' It's not the 1950s, most people already live together and don't feel the need to be gifted useless home appliances. We don't need any household items so we happily created a wedding fund registry. I'm glad wedding registries are FINALLY becoming part of the 21st century. If you find it so tacky or terrible then don't make one, it's that simple.

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I 100% agree with you!! My fiancé and I already live together, so we do not need household items. We are having a honeymoon fund. Im glad I am not the only one who thinks this is acceptable.

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THANK YOU!! I was like am I the only one that thinks this is genius!?!? What is the difference if you ask someone to pay for a blender or a honeymoon?

I don’t see anything wrong with this? My fiancé and I already live together and have a home filled with stuff that would normally be on everyone’s registries. We are registered for a cash fund for the honeymoon but I guess that makes us “tacky” and “selfish” asking for contributions. Like what is the difference in buying a $300 tv for someone than giving them the $300 to spend on their honeymoon? No one HAS to contribute, the same as no one HAS to get you something from your registry. Lol.

The people commenting at the beginning of this thread are absolutely ridiculous. I'm sorry you find it "tacky" that a guest would rather gift $50 to go towards the honeymoon or an experience than an appliance I already have. Maybe you are the one that should "adult" if you can't afford a toaster.

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Giving money is fine. Asking for money is not.

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It’s not “asking” for money. It’s giving your guests an option to gift you something that can go towards something you want/need. I’m not putting “money tree” on my invite (which is actually popular in other countries). But to each their own.

The majority of material gifts will end up in a landfill someday. People living in cities in small apartments literally can’t handle more “stuff” and don’t want to be swimming in material gifts. A shift from registry gifts to experience is one I absolutely welcome. Home buying funds and honeymoon funds are the eco-friendly and ethical future.