Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Devoted September 2014

The Groom is Freaking Out, Cold Feet. I'll might have a runaway groom.

Flag
Hide content

Annie, on June 23, 2014 at 3:00 PM

Posted in Planning 24

Oh my Gawd. I really don't know what do. He went off alone again, to think about things. The big new life change. We have 3 months all is done. The responses are coming in. FH had to be alone to think. And this is the 3rd time his done it. If his feeling pressure into getting marry, I don't want to regret it so I feel like calling the wedding off and if he wants to continue living life alone then by all means he can. His problem is that his been married before but he was young and she abandoned him. His parents pass and he lived a life of his own. Working and home. Never going out, no outside friends, just coworkers. We've known each other for 20yrs and we love each other. I think because of his past his afraid to get married again. I honestly don't want to leave him. I always dreamed of getting marry with him. And he wants to fulfill that dream but his getting cold feet. And I'm getting scare that I'll have a runaway groom. Any advice, input, suggestion, Help... Thank you ..

Show all

24 Comments

Super July 2014
Pamela Anne · on June 24, 2014 at 5:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
Yep, I also agree with @It'sGoodToBeKing. Running away isn't the way to deal with difficult things. Marriage isn't a smooth float down a gentle river...there will be many difficult things in marriage and running away for periods of time rather than tackling the issue head on is just avoiding the situation and not dealing with the situation. It's almost like waiting for the strong feelings about a problem to die down enough to sweep under the carpet and pretend it no longer exists.

And yes, what's past is past. If he's still holding onto things from a past relationship, then he's not ready to be in a new relationship. He has to deal with the issues, scars, and problems from past ones in order to wholly participate in your relationship...otherwise, you'll always be paying for the 'sins' of a past girl.

Some advice I was given before is that it doesn't matter what a man says...what's important is what a man does. Of course, it does also matter what he says, but you get the gist of the message.
- Reply
Devoted September 2014
Annie · on June 25, 2014 at 12:03 PM
Flag

Hide content
I live in Florida and his in Virginia. His been involved in the wedding to a point. He spoke to me and let me know he is scare and that this will be a big change for him. That his been a loner all his life. His been divorce once. He told me he was sorry that he loves its not me its him, his scare. I told him I understand. But I shouldn't be paying for what the ex wife did. I told him to surpass the bad times he had in that marriage.
Ladies thank you for all the advice, input I'm really going through a rough time. Yes I do love him. And if it comes the moment to make a decision I will be broken hearted. I'm to old to be playing games for sure.
Again Ladies thank you for the support.
God bless you all...
- Reply
Super July 2014
Pamela Anne · on June 25, 2014 at 1:55 PM
Flag

Hide content
Best of luck, wishes, and prayers!
- Reply

Super August 2014
tnovak · on June 25, 2014 at 2:04 PM
Flag

Hide content
Give him time and space. Don't rush things. it has taken 13 years for my FH and i to get engaged and we called the wedding off last year because he wasn't ready and his mom was sick and the timing just wasn't right. but love him for who he is and I don't have to marry him to be with him. If you feel the same then show that to him by understanding but not breaking up because he isn't ready. Then again, he could just want some time alone. Be gentle, be patient. You have the rest of your life together, whats a little more time.
- Reply