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Tanzie
Savvy October 2020

The boyfriend of the Mother of the Groom

Tanzie, on August 1, 2019 at 12:26 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 25

Ok so how do I put this nicely? I do not want the boyfriend of my fiance's mother at the wedding nor do I feel like he should be honored. I know that sounds selfish but quiet honestly he's most likely not going to stay in the family for long he doesn't treat my future mother in law well. The only...

Ok so how do I put this nicely? I do not want the boyfriend of my fiance's mother at the wedding nor do I feel like he should be honored. I know that sounds selfish but quiet honestly he's most likely not going to stay in the family for long he doesn't treat my future mother in law well. The only reason she hasn't broken up with him is because she feels bad that he wouldn't have anywhere else to go if she broke up with him. He does not work and doesn't bring money in at all, all he does is mooch off of her and my fiance's family. How can I in good conscience honor this man? Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated.

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25 Comments

  • Melissa
    VIP October 2018
    Melissa ·
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    Exactly this. You are a LONG WAY AWAY from sending out invitations. You do NOT need to specify who she can/can't bring, especially at this time. Give it time - things will be much more clear (and hopefully in your favor) once the date gets closer.

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  • H
    Devoted November 2019
    Heather ·
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    Yeah, wait it out but if she is still with him and wants to bring him, you should honor her wish.
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  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
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    I agree you have time but stick to your gut It's your day sorry some people are unrealistic to that fact. You do not need to accept him because he's her boyfriend. that is her problem if you don't want him at your wedding you control that and just be up front with you FMIL in advance so she knows that you wish to not have him involved/participate/come to the wedding. He's not on your list of people you want to share your happiness with.

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  • DitchingDiaz
    Dedicated November 2020
    DitchingDiaz ·
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    The good thing is you have time to let them fizzle out! My wedding is Nov 2020 and I am not planning to send my invites out until August 2020 (4 mo before). However, I do not know when you plan on sending yours out. IF you have time, then don't even mention it and wait it out. If you are going to send them sooner rather than later, I would talk to your MIL about it or even ask your FH to talk to his mom about it so they can have a heart to heart. You don't owe this man anything, but you also have to be thoughtful of her even though sometimes it SUCKS to take the highroad! If you do invite him- place him at a table and that's it, you do NOT need to 'honor' this rando.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    You definitely don’t have to “honor” him at all but you do have to allow him to come if your FMIL wants to bring him
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