The 5 stages of grief...

I feel the same way as everyone else who’s commented. We got married at the courthouse in April for other reasons (and couldn’t even celebrate that because our state was shut down...) but our planned wedding is October 24. I’m back and forth with fear and anger and everything else. I see a lot of people talking about postponing or canceling for sept and October but we really don’t want to do that so it’s hard not to get frustrated when seeing it. Idk it’s a weird feeling. Since any of this started, any excitement I have for my wedding is gone, but I still want it to happen as planned—however that looks and whoever comes I guess. I know on that day, regardless, I’m going to be disappointed. Because our guests won’t feel comfortable coming or we’ll have to cut back, or it will be cancelled. At this point, as sad as it is to say, I’m thinking of my own wedding as something to “just get over with.”

Wow I feel like you said everything I am feeling. I am definitely in the angry phase. I’m so upset that some people can’t even say sorry about the day. I’ve gone back in fourth of cancelling the big party or postponing the big party. We are getting married on our original wedding day just us and parents watching.


But I get you. I’m a greatful person, I’m so happy to have food shelter and a job during this time but I’m still bummed. Feelings are feelings.I hope your day is magical. I brought myself an mug on Etsy that says new plan same man ! Just give myself a positive reminder of what matters and things will be okay.

Thank you so much for posting this! I feel I am not alone with my feelings. I’m also a September bride and have had a roller coaster of emotions. Sometimes I feel other people don’t understand the way I’ve been feeling. I’m the optimistic one in my relationship and I was hoping things would get better by now. My FH is the realist and had previously vocalized to me he didn’t think things were going to be the same by September. He was also worried that people would be scared to come. I’m slowly starting to come to terms of us possibly postponing the wedding even though it was hard to accept it at first. I agree that our feelings are valid. I felt guilty at first, but I’ve realized it is completely okay to feel what we’re feeling.

Thank you so much for this! I have been feeling the exact same way. We just made the decision to reschedule our August 15, 2020 wedding to July, 2021. Back in March, everything was basically planned with the exception of final meetings and details. First, I had to cancel my bachelorette party (yes, not a huge deal, but it hurt). It happened within a span of 20 hours and left me awkwardly sniffling while walking down a sidewalk in north Chicago. We weren’t concerned about our wedding at that point but with everything up in the air, I refused to plan anything. Then we had to cancel our florist meeting, and then our cake tasting. By the time we decided to cancel my fiancé’s bachelorette party in late May, we realized this wasn’t going to end any time soon. I’ve gone between hopeless and mopey to motivated and hopeful more times than I can count, it’s exhausting. I realize that wedding plans changing are minor compared to the trauma that others are suffering but it’s still trauma nonetheless. To add insult to injury, a friend of mine posted on social media about how glad she was that she had her wedding last year and not this year. And that prompted me to take a serious break from social media. Either way it’s tiring and unfair, but we will get through it.

View Quoted Comment Honey it is our wedding...... If you're friends give you backlash because you are planning your wedding. Remove them from the list. Less people less problems....

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It's not just that though - there are multiple opinions, even in this forum, where people are called out as irresponsible for planning their weddings normally right now. Of course I don't want people to be scared or sick from this. But I have no choice but to move forward with planning.

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About the friend on social media - Yeah, people just don't realize what they say! I've been working from home, because my career is in IT, so we have the capability to do that. I was in a meeting a few weeks ago, and someone mentioned that, "Ohh at this rate, it'll probably be a year until we get back into the office hahahaha" like it was some sort of funny joke, and it made me angry because if we can't even get back into the office, we'll most certainly not have my wedding!

View Quoted Comment I couldn’t agree more, there’s something about talking to friends and family right now that’s just not helping. They just don’t understand. I’m still not ready to give up hope on September completely, I really hope your small wedding can go on as planned!!

View Quoted Comment I think every one of us feels the same way, I’m incredibly envious of friends that have gotten married and enjoyed the process normally. Maybe try to book a nice weekend away for you and your FH after you get married next month? Airbnb’s are still an option. That will help give you something else to look forward to!

Not one of you upset about this stupid virus ruining your perfect day that you've worked so hard on should feel as if you're being selfish by being upset or complaining about it. This is probably the biggest day of your lives so far, and my heart hurts for everyone in this situation. ❤️

Yes! I am right there with you...our August wedding is giving me so much anxiety...the sadness, the anger, all the feels and all too much having to be home and the uncertainty!
Our venue will not postpone us until 4wks before our date which while I understand the business end of it just seems unfair to us. We already have guests canceling flights for the wedding, my dress has not been altered yet! I feel like I am in a state of limbo...the venue is hoping to open for the August weddings even with restrictions, but what restrictions? Cut my guest list (how?) Guests wear masks (unfair)
So yes...I feel ya!

Thank you all for being so honest! It really helps to feel like we're not alone. Our wedding date is September 26, 2020 in MA, and we haven't decided what to do yet. Our venue wants to wait until we hear more from the governor, and I'm worried that they won't let us make a decision until much nearer the date (they have almost all of our venue/catering money already, so we're kind of at their mercy). I know I'm being kind of unreasonable, but 1) I am just 100% not willing to have our guests (~130, in theory) in masks, standing 6 feet apart, and unable to dance/hug/celebrate freely and 2) I don't want to have a small private ceremony on our wedding date and schedule the reception/party for next year -- it's super important to me for the ceremony and celebration to be together so that everyone shares in the experience. It feels like our only option given those 2 factors is to postpone, but I've always wanted a fall wedding and waiting another year feels crazy (we've been engaged a year and a half already because I wanted a long enough engagement to plan things without stress... haha), and what if there isn't a vaccine ready by then and we're back in the same situation? I wish someone had a crystal ball and could tell us what to do. Sending love to all the other brides dealing with this!!

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That's what I'm thinking about the vaccine too. Even if there is one, it's not like it will magically appear in the US right after it gets approved. It'll take time for it to get here, maybe months! So postponing completely to next year is even up in the air.

Totally understand where you're coming from! I too have gone through those same feelings and they go back and forth at times. I get tired of people expecting us to cancel like it's that simple! If people aren't doing that, then they're either not cooperating or being supportive. It's very frustrating and it honestly let's you see who's really happy for you and supportive of you. My m and sisters have been the most supportive and I'm grateful for that. We are still going through with our wedding, and whoever comes is meant to be there. I'm just ready for the day to come at this point.

View Quoted Comment Right! And they're even saying there could be a second wave so I agree that postponing can still be problems. I'd rather just get married down as some things are calming down than postpone then have to postpone again , but each couple has to do what they think is best.

View Quoted Comment Could you post the link to the mug?! I collect mugs and would love to have that haha.

Imy wedding is supposed to be in 30 days and went from a big family wedding to just a backyard ceremony. My heart breaks every time I think of it and I could be happy with the small backyard wedding if only my family could be there. It hurts even more that my soon to be husbands family gets to be there(they love close) and they haven’t been the most welcoming to be from the very beginning. I’m so angry I’ve called my family and yelled at them but it’s not their faults at all. So many awful emotions. I know everyone is thinking just put the wedding off but we found out we are expecting a baby and want to be married before I start showing. I feel so lost and hurt and angry I don’t know where to turn.

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I feel the same way. I started seeing everyone postponing and started to feel really alone. We're just not willing to put our lives on hold for an entire year. Not that it's ideal for those of us who had large weddings planned, but I'm still holding onto some hope that we'll be able to have small weddings in September and October.

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Exactly! Sometimes all you need is someone to say, "I'm so sorry you're going through this".

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I'm so sorry to hear about everything you've been through and had to cancel. The up and down of emotions really are exhausting. And to your friend who posted that on social media.. that's terrible. Just really insensitive and must have been really hard for you to see Definitely a good idea to take a break from social media though!