That 1 complaining bridesmaid...

Are you buying the studs as a bridesmaids gift or are you just supplying them for the girls to wear on the day?

For them to wear that day...idk I guess u can consider them a gift, I was putting it in the same bag as their gifts

Listen to your Madrina: Buy/choose/do what you want. If she veers off course, just let her. She will look like the troublemaker/boogerhead. You have three out of four cheering you on--if that was your batting average you would make the Hall of Fame!!!

xox

LOL thanks Madrina! I was thinking she may be rebellious and bring her own jewelry anyway but I just want them to look uniform for picture purposes. After that she can do what the heck she wants!

You should absolutely buy the studs. You are only asking her to wear them for one day and you are paying for them so, she isn't spending money on something she doesn't like.

This is your day and your vision. I completely understand about dealing with siblings as bridesmaids. When one doesn't cooperate it can be extremely stressful. Just stick to your vision and don't worry.

Sometimes a complaining bridesmaid is about more than just taste in earrings. She could be acting out for any number of reasons. Is she single and envious? Or does she feel like all the family's attention is focused on you? Or maybe she worries you won't be as close after the wedding? Or, she's just sick to death of everything being wedding-wedding-wedding all the time and is ready for things to get back to normal. It could be any number of things.

I would have a private talk with her. Keep it chill and non-accusatory, like, "Hey, I noticed you don't seem to be very supportive lately about the choices I'm making for the wedding. Is there something bigger bothering you that you want to talk about?" Then let her talk. Hearing someone out, in a kind and non-accusatory way, does wonders for defusing drama.

Thanks Kasheena!! I appreciate ur advice and I was thinking the same thing, I'm not asking her to spend her own money on something she may never wear again, it's only for a few hours it won't kill her right?

@Shannon I did that when she flipped out on me bcuz I wouldn't use the MUA she wanted me to use because I couldn't afford her. I mean she flipped out! And I calmly asked her "ok sister u really just flipped on me. What's wrong, is there something else going on?" because that was just out the blue. But she stated nothing was wrong & she just felt it was rude for me to not use her. I let that go. She has been with her boyfriend for about 3+ years and he hasn't proposed yet. She keeps thinking he is going to but he doesn't. Idk if that's what the issue is or not.

As long as you're not giving her something you know she wouldn't like/use as a bridesmaid gift, and you're planning on giving her something else as a bridesmaid gift, do whatever you want with the earrings. You're paying for them and it's one day.

It sounds to me like she might be a bit jealous. She's ready for that ring and it's not coming.

I know I was in a wedding very soon after my first marriage, and I felt envious that the bride and groom were having this big to-do when I'd only been able to go to Vegas with two witnesses. I was also sad that my then-husband was overseas and couldn't go to the wedding with me. So I was super grumbly about everything. Luckily the bride (still a very dear friend, who was a BM at my second wedding) sought me out and said something kind about how she appreciated me and knew I was bummed I didn't get to have a wedding with all my friends there. It meant the world to me and I shaped up.

I'd politely deflect her when she acts out, and otherwise be kind. Weddings really do bring out the worst in people, and I'm sure things will get back to normal after the wedding.

@Julia Beth yea, I was giving them other things as well for the gifts. Thanks for ur advice!!

Good point Shannon! I've been very patient with her and when she says negative things and objects I don't snap back. I kinda ignore her comments and talk about something else but it can be very bothersome. She seemed to be the happiest when I first got engaged and talked about how I deserved it & she just wants me to be happy but then that changed. Another thing is her boyfriend had a vasectomy, she wants children really bad & he's procrastinating getting it reversed for her. So I know she has some things going on of her own & we talk often about things not wedding related. I'm sure it will go back to normal after the wedding. Only 23 more days to deal with it all!

You do what you want, it's your vision for your wedding. These are her issues, you really do not have to deal with them.

Sounds to me like you're on the right track. Your sister is going through a lot of disappointment, and a close family member's wedding can sometimes shine a not-so-great light on what's going on in our lives. Just kill her with kindness and let it go when you can.

Also, her boyfriend needs to man up. Three years in and he doesn't know if he wants marriage? And he doesn't want to get his vasectomy reversed? Geez louise, man, stop with the foot dragging! Poor girl.

@Shannon right! They've been to appointments to see what their chances are and how much it will cost but he hasn't done anything since then. I don't want her to be jealous of me at all but I can understand those feelings at the same time.

I think your sis is beginning to realize she doesn't have a future with her boyfriend and that she'll need to move on. He hasn't proposed and apparently does not want his vasectomy reversed. He needs to be honest with her.

@Nancy I think you're right. She's the oldest girl & I think she feels like she's behind. I was the first of my dad's children to have a child and the first to get married. There's a 2 year age difference between us.