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Just Said Yes August 2014

Thank You Notes for people who didn't come to the wedding, but gifted

Private User, on November 8, 2014 at 10:05 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 8 30
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So this is a different scenario than people who came to the wedding, but didn't gift. I have a few people that sent a gift, but didn't come to the wedding. Obviously, I want to thank them for the gift. What else can I say in addition to, "Thanks for the beautiful platter." I feel like I want to say something more. My husband thinks that writing, "Sorry, we missed you at the wedding" might make them feel bad for not being there. Is there anything else nice I can say other than simply thanking them for the gift. Suggestions?

30 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on November 21, 2020 at 12:18 PM
  • Sarah
    Master October 2014
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    We had a handful of those. We said something like... Thank you for the beautiful platter. We're excited to use it over the holidays. It will become part of so many wonderful memories. I hope all is well. (Insert personal tid bit about something going on in their lives).

    Lots of Love,

    Your name & DH's name

    • Reply
  • Gamecock Mrs.
    Master October 2014
    Gamecock Mrs. ·
    • Flag

    Thank you for the beautiful platter. We truly appreciate you thinking of us during this special time in our lives. It will be perfect to use for thanksgiving. We missed you at the wedding but truly hope that we can see you soon!

    Oops! Don't use truly twice.

    • Reply
  • Heather A
    Master September 2014
    Heather A ·
    • Flag

    I jus said something cute and sweet like "we wish we could have seen you at the wedding, but we know you were celebrating with us in spirit. We hope to see you soon"

    • Reply
  • Monana
    VIP May 2015
    Monana ·
    • Flag

    Maybe include a picture from the wedding as well?

    • Reply
  • Finally mrs.jkr
    Master May 2021
    Finally mrs.jkr ·
    • Flag

    I agree with gamecock. I think on pinterest that give you some cheats to writing the best thank you cards. I think thanking them for thinking of you in this special time in your lives is a good way to sound thankful without risking someone construing it as, "That bitch put sarcasm in our thank you note because we couldn't show up!"

    You never know with writing, so it's hard to come up with ways that couldn't possibly sound offensive.

    • Reply
  • P
    Just Said Yes August 2014
    Private User ·
    • Flag

    Thank you everyone for all the advise and great words! This helps this helps so much.

    • Reply
  • Nikki
    VIP November 2015
    Nikki ·
    • Flag

    I like Heather's suggestion. I was once the gifter who could not attend, and just getting the thank you note at all made my day! I feel like you'd really have to be reading into things to take a thank you note as offensive... then again I know some relatives who might, haha.

    • Reply
  • B
    Master December 2015
    BunnyLove ·
    • Flag

    Thank you so much for the serving platter you sent Sally and me as a wedding gift. It was so thoughtful of you! I’m so sorry you were unable to attend. We'd love to get together soon so you can see the pictures!

    Best,

    John & Sally

    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    You don't need to send a thank you note to guests for attending the wedding, but you do need to write a thank you to everyone who gave you a gift!

    Make sure to thank the person for the guest in specific terms - answering the question, "What are you planning on doing with this gift?" Then, express your regret at not seeing the person at the wedding, and your hope that you'll be able to see them soon (even if they live across the country and you have no idea if or when you'll see them again).

    Here are some great tips and templates for writing thank you notes:

    https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/etiquette-advice/fill-in-the-blank-thank-you-notes

    https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/etiquette-advice/thank-you-note-etiquette

    • Reply
  • sharada
    Dedicated September 2018
    sharada ·
    • Flag

    You can always ask them if they wanted to get together. That will give you a chance to catch up with your guests that who didn't make it to the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Maya
    Dedicated October 2018
    Maya ·
    • Flag

    Following this post. I will be asking this very question soon so Ill just follow your post. Thank you !

    • Reply
  • Jordan
    Dedicated June 2019
    Jordan ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Be careful if you make a script similar to this that you don't accidentally write it to someone who wasn't invited. My mom is the kind of person who gifts to anyone we know getting married regardless of if she was invited.
    • Reply
  • Margaretrose
    Savvy May 2019
    Margaretrose ·
    • Flag
    I just sent a gift for a wedding I did not attend but was invited too. My thank you card said “we missed you at the wedding” and it didn’t seem awkward at all. If anything, I was surprised she noticed I didn’t come!!
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert September 2018
    M ·
    • Flag
    I'm following because I have a few like this. Ones where people have gifts, but didn't attend because they weren't invited to the wedding. We had a cut off and I don't think people are upset, but some did share a gift after the fact. Any thoughts?
    • Reply
  • PurdyAikey
    Super January 2019
    PurdyAikey ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Definitely don't say "we missed you at the wedding" if they weren't invited. I would just say Thank you for the gift. We really appreciate your generosity. I hope you, Uncle Bob and Kids (or whoever) are doing well! We would love to catch up sometime! Smiley heart Bride and Groom

    • Reply
  • Charity
    Devoted December 2020
    Charity ·
    • Flag

    You mean so much to us. We missed you at the wedding

    • Reply
  • J
    Dedicated December 2018
    Jack ·
    • Flag

    We had one gift from someone who didn't attend. We wrote something like "Thank you for your generous gift. We're sorry you couldn't join us - we missed you on our special day and we hope you can come visit soon."

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Savvy December 2018
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    We had a few of those. We wrote something along the lines of, "Dear Joe Schmoe, We are so sorry you were unable to attend our wedding celebration. We had an amazing day and we wish you could have been there to celebrate with us. We wanted to make sure you know how much you were missed and how grateful we are for your extremely generous gift. We cannot wait to use the new xyzzy in our home! Thank you again!"

    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Devoted November 2018
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag

    I'm going to jump on here and ask a followup question if nobody minds...

    What about receiving a gift from the whole family but only one person from the family came? My uncle came to the wedding and it meant so much to us to have him there, whereas my aunt stayed home because she didn't know how she felt about my marriage. But ultimately, we know the gift card was from the entire family. How would you write it?

    • Reply
  • Kristen
    VIP June 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I would say something like " Thank you for the wonderful (insert gift here). We can't wait to use it for (purpose) / It was very thoughtful of you. We missed you at the wedding but can't wait to see you soon (or whenever you'll see them next if certain). Love, FH + your name

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