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Savvy June 2022

Thank you notes at the wedding.

Debbie, on November 12, 2020 at 7:58 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 33
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I recently saw an idea, but I need some feed back. I saw someone posted a pic of thank you notes they put at each place setting at the table. How would you feel about this idea? I'm thinking it's a way to thank for attending and any gift. It's a way to make sure all in attendance gets a thank you card. Thanks for any feed back.

33 Comments

Latest activity by Florida Marlins, on November 17, 2020 at 8:37 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    I think it's fine to thank people for attending, but you should still send personalized, hand written, thank you notes for gifts. You have no idea who will bring gifts or what they will bring and giving everyone the same generic thank you is rude.

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  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah Online ·
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    This. While I think it’s cute to do thank you cards at a place setting, you absolutely still need to send a personalized thank you to anyone who gave a gift.
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  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    Debbie ·
    • Flag
    Well. I'm not a ride person. I was just asking the question since I've never seen this before.
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  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    Debbie ·
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    Rude person
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  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    Thanking them for attending with a message on the table is fine! We're thinking of having a short and sweet message printed on the back of our table numbers. Nothing wrong with adding that extra touch if you're wanting that! Def. send individual thank you cards to your guests though after the wedding. Personalize them per guest depending on what they gave you and such!

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  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    Debbie ·
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    Thanks. I really appreciate your response. I questioned a generic thank you for gifts. Seemed impersonal but I honestly wasn't sure if that's what people just do. We are thinking of including the thank you on our menus at the bottom. Thanks again.
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  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    You're welcome! Def. stay away from the generic thank you for gifts and keep it personalized! Smiley smile Happy Planning!

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  • A
    Dedicated May 2021
    Ally ·
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    This is pretty rude. Thank you notes should be personalized, addressing the guest by name and thanking them for the specific gift they gave you. People spend a lot of time and money to go to weddings and should be thanked properly
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  • Susan
    Devoted October 2021
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    I think it's nice to thank people for attending, but there should still be a follow up thank you for gifts that are handwritten and personal. Smiley smile

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    Hmm I don't see an issue but personalized hand written thank you card sent to their address should still be a requirement
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  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    Debbie ·
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    I sincerely wish I could delete this post. I am not a rude person. I was simply asking a question on something that I saw. Twice now called rude.
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  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    Debbie ·
    • Flag
    I'm no longer looking for feed back on this. Thank you.
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    I've seen people do generic little thank you notes attached to wedding favors at each table setting. But these are done in addition to thank you notes sent in the mail for gifts

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  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    Debbie ·
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    Thanks Hanna. I appreciate the feedback.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    No one called you rude, Debbie. You asked for opinions and you got them. Did you only want people to comment if they agreed with you?

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    No problem. I think this is fine to do as long as it's in addition to (not instead of) sending personalized thank you notes in the mail for individual gifts. If you're having favors, the notes can even be attached to the favors with a cute ribbon or something

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  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    Debbie ·
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    If that was he case I wouldn't have even posted the question. Thank you.
    • Reply
  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    Debbie ·
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    I sat for some time debating on posting it to begin with. As I said, I wish I could just delete the post. Huge regret.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    First, You do not thank your guests for attending, as in thank you note. That is backwards etiquette, a common error, always. Any major dinner or party, including weddings ( but not funerals.)....... Guests thank hosts for inviting them to their wonderful party, or sleepover whatever . However, In weddings where the guest has sent or will send a major gift, we assume, guests who give gifts are excused from writing a note, since the gift and message there count as though you walked in with a hostess gift and card, Thank you for inviting me.
    Guests who do not give a gift, still should write a thank you to the hosts, specific, with details ( not preprinted Thanks!) After a wedding last month, our friend actually did get 3 thank you notes from guests with back ordered gifts, or unfinished project. Maybe with 32 guest households, they figured B and G would notice, no gift and no thank you. But I and everyone else, were amazed, people with manners! 🙂Thank you notes, hand written to show it was personally and thoughtfully are written only for gifts, or major services. Someone planned and gave you a shower, picked up 4 different families at the airport in 2 days, baked 200 desserts. Not every little thing, but major services. ... The note has greeting chit chat, names the gift, says how it will be used , or how wonderful.
    .... Putting a Thank you not for coming, is wrong. Thanking someone this way for a previous gift, is mass produced and not thoughtful at all. And last, there is no detail that says they know what you gave them and how wonderful that particular choice is. ...At Showers, or Weddings, a very efficient system of thanking everyone for everything, is BAD, shockingly showing you are ungrateful 😮 in terms of standard etiquette. Every few years this comes round. When all of your Thank you notes for gifts and ( unpaid) services are done, it; s good to get in the habit of writing others ( snail or email) and you certainly may say, I was so happy to see you at the wedding. When you see them in person, you say it is nice to see you, not "Thank you" like they did a big thing to come to the party/ wedding you worked hard on, providing a nice place, company, food, drink, entertainment. Thank you for coming to eat my dinner and drink my booze? No. Guests thank hosts for this.
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  • A
    Dedicated May 2021
    Ally ·
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    I was not saying you are rude! Just that I wouldn’t do it because it can be perceived as rude to send generic thank you notes. Sorry if it came off a different way
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