Thank you cards to everyone?

No card is necessary. Only thank you cards for those who gave a gift.

If you send it to the ones who didn't, it almost highlights you know they didn't give you a gift and are just thanking them for coming

Hmm interesting. Never thought of it that way! Following!

I honestly was planning on writing a thank you card for everyone who attends, but now I'm wondering if I should...

I only sent thank yous to those who gifted, as the wording was pre-printed 'thank you for your generous gift...' or if they gave you a card, thank them for the card, but otherwise no.

I think thanking all those that attend would be a nice thing to do. They came, that's their gift to you

Hmm. Well, the reception is to thank the guests for coming to your wedding. And presumably you will be taking time during dinner or while having a receiving line to speak with each guest and thank them individually for coming.

I think if you do this, your guests are sufficiently thanked for their presence and coming out to support you. Then, if gifts are given, that's something extra and extra thanks in the form of a note are required.

I sent out thank you cards for those who gave us cards already and was actually going to start writing out thank you cards for the guests who didn't give us one but now I'm second guessing doing that so *bump* to see what others did..

It seems odd to send a thank you card to someone who didn't give a gift. No doubt you would've already thanked them for coming at the reception.

Yes we went around thanking everyone for coming at the wedding. I just didn't want to seem like I was fishing for a gift by sending them a thank you card for coming also I thought by not sending them a thank you card they would think we were mad at them for not giving us a gift.

May be an UO here; but I would send a TU card to non-gift-givers, too. I would just thank them for sharing your day with you/glad to see them, etc.

Also, I would send an individual TU card to everyone that went in together for a gift. You should have everyone's address (that's how the invites were sent), so I don't understand just writing one TU card for a handful of folks all living at separate addresses?!?

No, thank you cards are only for those who gave gifts. The reception is a thank you and you thank them in person at the wedding for their attendance. Sending a card can seem like fishing for a gift, as you said.

I personally am doing thank you cards to all my guests because they took time to come to my wedding.

Like I said, I may be of an UO here; but it's certainly not unheard of: http://www.brides.com/story/thank-you-notes-for-guests-with-no-wedding-gift

To me it's about having common sense. We are only inviting close friends-n-family...people that know us & know that we are not the gift-grabby type. How does it makes sense that 'etiquette dictates that you have to properly host a reception & do table visits as a TU for guests that attended your ceremony/spending time & money, etc; but if you send them a TU card for attending...you are gift grabby?!?

More of a personal preference...

No. The etiquette is that all guests who attended should receive a thank you card, not just the ones who gave a gift.

Even if they didn't bring a gift, they still spent a considerable amount time and money to attend your wedding. It's rude to not formally acknowledge them and thank them in a note.

I've heard that you should only send thank you cards for gifts. The reception is technically your thank you to everyone who came to the wedding. And sending a thank you when they didn't send a gift can be seen as highlighting the fact that they didn't send a gift

Everyone who comes to our wedding/reception will be receiving a thank you card. I think it's rude to not do that.

The reception IS the thank you for attending the ceremony. Why would you thank people for coming to a party where food and alcohol is free for them? Only write thank you notes to those who gave gifts.

I remember sending a thank you for attending to those who did not give a gift (1st wedding circa 1994)

I'm going to only send thank-you's to those who brought gifts, or even just cards!

View Quoted Comment Curious, that’s what we did too. But a few that originally didn’t give gifts, that we sent thank you for coming cards, have since sent money or cards. Did this happen to you, do you send a second thank you card?